How do I bring up marriage concerns with my husband?
We are in our early 60s and have been together for 12 years, married for 5. We are mostly avoidant in the way we deal with things, hardly ever having arguments. But when we do disagree, it is extremely upsetting to me, mainly because of his quickness to deny that he could be doing anything wrong or just doing thing thing I'm frustrated about. This has happened pretty much every time, and I feel like I'm being gaslighted. It makes me feel like I just need to keep my feelings to myself, which I can't and won't keep doing. We were both married before and divorced by our spouses. My take on my divorce is that it's complex and we were both at fault. His take on his divorce is that it was all her fault.
tl;dr I'm anxious about my marriage and need a good way to bring up the idea that our marriage needs work without sounding accusatory.