u/Extreme_Pineapple915

Hello, I (19 F) have recently moved away from home for college. Some details were changed for anonymity, and I’m using a throwaway account. I’m from Ohio, and I go to school in Illinois (for cultural context). I mentioned some things from my childhood and personal life to some friends, and they were concerned about my background. I don’t know what is normal, and they told me it may have been bad. Here is a list of what happened throughout high school and younger. I want to know if these are normal? For context, I have severe food allergies, and my parents have medical issues that cause them to be irritable due to pain.

Exposure to my parents arguing and fighting.

Forcing me to go on trips and excursions, manipulation into going, even if I was busy with school assignments. I got very little sleep.

My mom taking credit for all of my accomplishments no matter her contribution.

No value in personal needs (forcing me to go on trips, do things for them/with them no matter my needs, priorities, personal time, or academics-they’d turn the internet off at 8:00 no matter if I was done with my homework or not).

Using pain as an excuse to do/say anything they wanted without repercussions.

No empathy for loss of important things (such as with the death of a pet, or failed tests).

Trying to make me forget something wrong they did happened (trying to make me think what they did was out of love, after being yelled at, after being hit, often saying “I’d never do anything to hurt you” and forcing me to give my mom a hug) or getting defensive when my mom knew it was wrong and tried to make me feel guilty for her actions, using fake guilt to make me feel sorry for her.

Screaming in my face, trying to intimidate me.

Chasing me up the stairs while screaming and pushing me into my room (Running at at full speed).

Bullying from parents (taking behind my back, calling me names with obscene language when i could hear).

No care for my health/allergies (more explanation later).

Hitting me over and over until I was red.

Strangling me and choking me twice (my dad wouldn’t have stopped unless my mom pulled him off of me).

Justifying strangling me with no remorse.

One example was I was in elementary school and in Phoenix. We were all really hungry so we stopped at a Mexican restaurant to eat. I asked my mom if the food was safe for me to eat and she insisted it was; I was ten and didn’t know any better. After I ate the food, I immediately started having an allergic reaction. Before leaving the restaurant my mom saw my lips and throat were swelling up, and I told her my mouth felt really hot. So she knew I was having a reaction.

We continued to walk around and explore the city while my throat and mouth were continually swelling up. We explored the city for about an hour while I felt sick.

We then had to drive four hours to our hotel while I felt like death in the back seat. I was throwing up and my mom gave me an envelope to throw up in. I was also having diarrhea in the backseat of the car. My parents did not stop driving to help me. We stopped to go shopping at a grocery store while I was experiencing this reaction. Once we got to the hotel, I continued throwing up and having diarrhea. My mom was forcing me to eat and I just threw up all the food again.

We never went to the doctor even after getting back from the trip. I also never had EpiPens, and didn’t see an allergist until my senior year in high school. We learned about my allergies through trial and error, and I only went to an allergist to see if I was allergic to anesthesia before having a surgery. When I went there, the doctor immediately prescribed me EpiPens for my food allergies. I never went to a hospital for any of my reactions (I would wait it out until I stopped). I only went to the hospital while having a reaction while visiting a college in Missouri, and my parent weren’t there. The college staff called an ambulance for me.

I know this isn’t all normal, but how bad is it?

TL;DR- My parents did some questionable things in my childhood and I would like to know if was as bad as my friends are claiming.

Hello, I (19 F) have recently moved away from home for college. Some details were changed for anonymity, and I’m using a throwaway account. I’m from Ohio, and I go to school in Illinois (for cultural context). I mentioned some things from my childhood and personal life to some friends, and they were concerned about my background. I don’t know what is normal, and they told me it may have been bad. Here is a list of what happened throughout high school and younger. I want to know if these are normal? For context, I have severe food allergies, and my parents have medical issues that cause them to be irritable due to pain.

Exposure to my parents arguing and fighting.

Forcing me to go on trips and excursions, manipulation into going, even if I was busy with school assignments. I got very little sleep.

My mom taking credit for all of my accomplishments no matter her contribution.

No value in personal needs (forcing me to go on trips, do things for them/with them no matter my needs, priorities, personal time, or academics-they’d turn the internet off at 8:00 no matter if I was done with my homework or not).

Using pain as an excuse to do/say anything they wanted without repercussions.

No empathy for loss of important things (such as with the death of a pet, or failed tests).

Trying to make me forget something wrong they did happened (trying to make me think what they did was out of love, after being yelled at, after being hit, often saying “I’d never do anything to hurt you” and forcing me to give my mom a hug) or getting defensive when my mom knew it was wrong and tried to make me feel guilty for her actions, using fake guilt to make me feel sorry for her.

Screaming in my face, trying to intimidate me.

Chasing me up the stairs while screaming and pushing me into my room (Running at at full speed).

Bullying from parents (taking behind my back, calling me names with obscene language when i could hear).

No care for my health/allergies (more explanation later).

Hitting me over and over until I was red.

Strangling me and choking me twice (my dad wouldn’t have stopped unless my mom pulled him off of me).

Justifying strangling me with no remorse.

One example was I was in elementary school and in Phoenix. We were all really hungry so we stopped at a Mexican restaurant to eat. I asked my mom if the food was safe for me to eat and she insisted it was; I was ten and didn’t know any better. After I ate the food, I immediately started having an allergic reaction. Before leaving the restaurant my mom saw my lips and throat were swelling up, and I told her my mouth felt really hot. So she knew I was having a reaction.

We continued to walk around and explore the city while my throat and mouth were continually swelling up. We explored the city for about an hour while I felt sick.

We then had to drive four hours to our hotel while I felt like death in the back seat. I was throwing up and my mom gave me an envelope to throw up in. I was also having diarrhea in the backseat of the car. My parents did not stop driving to help me. We stopped to go shopping at a grocery store while I was experiencing this reaction. Once we got to the hotel, I continued throwing up and having diarrhea. My mom was forcing me to eat and I just threw up all the food again.

We never went to the doctor even after getting back from the trip. I also never had EpiPens, and didn’t see an allergist until my senior year in high school. We learned about my allergies through trial and error, and I only went to an allergist to see if I was allergic to anesthesia before having a surgery. When I went there, the doctor immediately prescribed me EpiPens for my food allergies. I never went to a hospital for any of my reactions (I would wait it out until I stopped). I only went to the hospital while having a reaction while visiting a college in Missouri, and my parent weren’t there. The college staff called an ambulance for me.

I know this isn’t all normal, but how bad is it?

TL;DR- My parents did some questionable things in my childhood and I would like to know if was as bad as my friends are claiming.

Hello, I (19 F) have recently moved away from home for college. Some details were changed for anonymity, and I’m using a throwaway account. I’m from Ohio, and I go to school in Illinois (for cultural context). I mentioned some things from my childhood and personal life to some friends, and they were concerned about my background. I don’t know what is normal, and they told me it may have been abusive. Here is a list of what happened throughout high school and younger. I want to know if these are normal? For context, I have severe food allergies, and my parents have medical issues that cause them to be irritable due to pain.

Exposure to my parents arguing and fighting.

Forcing me to go on trips and excursions, manipulation into going, even if I was busy with school assignments. I got very little sleep.

My mom taking credit for all of my accomplishments no matter her contribution.

No value in personal needs (forcing me to go on trips, do things for them/with them no matter my needs, priorities, personal time, or academics-they’d turn the internet off at 8:00 no matter if I was done with my homework or not).

Using pain as an excuse to do/say anything they wanted without repercussions.

No empathy for loss of important things (such as with the death of a pet, or failed tests).

Trying to make me forget something wrong they did happened (trying to make me think what they did was out of love, after being yelled at, after being hit, often saying “I’d never do anything to hurt you” and forcing me to give my mom a hug) or getting defensive when my mom knew it was wrong and tried to make me feel guilty for her actions, using fake guilt to make me feel sorry for her.

Screaming in my face, trying to intimidate me.

Chasing me up the stairs while screaming and pushing me into my room (Running at at full speed).

Bullying from parents (taking behind my back, calling me names with obscene language when i could hear).

No care for my health/allergies (more explanation later).

Hitting me over and over until I was red.

Strangling me and choking me twice (my dad wouldn’t have stopped unless my mom pulled him off of me).

Justifying strangling me with no remorse.

One example was I was in elementary school and in Phoenix. We were all really hungry so we stopped at a Mexican restaurant to eat. I asked my mom if the food was safe for me to eat and she insisted it was; I was ten and didn’t know any better. After I ate the food, I immediately started having an allergic reaction. Before leaving the restaurant my mom saw my lips and throat were swelling up, and I told her my mouth felt really hot. So she knew I was having a reaction.

We continued to walk around and explore the city while my throat and mouth were continually swelling up. We explored the city for about an hour while I felt sick.

We then had to drive four hours to our hotel while I felt like death in the back seat. I was throwing up and my mom gave me an envelope to throw up in. I was also having diarrhea in the backseat of the car. My parents did not stop driving to help me. We stopped to go shopping at a grocery store while I was experiencing this reaction. Once we got to the hotel, I continued throwing up and having diarrhea. My mom was forcing me to eat and I just threw up all the food again.

We never went to the doctor even after getting back from the trip. I also never had EpiPens, and didn’t see an allergist until my senior year in high school. We learned about my allergies through trial and error, and I only went to an allergist to see if I was allergic to anesthesia before having a surgery. When I went there, the doctor immediately prescribed me EpiPens for my food allergies. I never went to a hospital for any of my reactions (I would wait it out until I stopped). I only went to the hospital while having a reaction while visiting a college in Missouri, and my parent weren’t there. The college staff called an ambulance for me.

I know this isn’t all normal, but how bad is it?

TL;DR- My parents did some questionable things in my childhood and I would like to know if was abuse or neglect like my friends are claiming.