First-Gen Struggling with DoubleSpeak in the Office
Hello, I recently started my first true job at a firm after graduation! I’m a first generation student, with both my parents working in manual labor. I have no real insight on what it’s like to be a part of an office (or any white-collar setting at that) besides what I’ve gathered from others’ stories and the internet. Despite this, I thought I was doing a pretty good job at blending in. I passed the interview with flying colors and my coworkers are very nice and seem to like me. But over the past few weeks I’ve noticed small instances in which the things I say might’ve gotten taken in the wrong way. Even slight changes in my phrasing seem to completely change the tone of what I’m saying. It’s not as if they have told me explicitly or that I’ve gotten bad reactions, but I get this awkward vibe afterwards, implying that they might’ve taken what I said as sarcasm or passive aggressiveness (Stuff like adding “actually” before a compliment). The firm is extremely friendly and there really doesn’t seem to be that much politics or a need to compete. During my onboarding they have all emphasized how much they value collaboration and amicability. However I have heard them talk in that sort of double-speak a few times where they’re implying a complaint while still speaking kindly… Am I just overthinking things or is it something I should start trying to be conscious of? And if so, how?? I’ve never been in an environment with so much emphasis on word choice. I only notice after I’ve done it and whenever I think I’ve messed up it really gets to my head and I feel horrible after. I don’t like feeling like I’m walking on eggshells, but at times it really feels like there’s a language barrier between us. I’m also a little worried that my failed communication attempts might eventually leave a bad impression on people. Has anyone faced this problem before?
P.S. if you have an extremely friendly and kind boss, how do you balance friendliness with respect, and where do you draw the line? I’ve been struggling with this a bit as well.