husband gave me HSV
I honestly can’t believe I’m coming on the internet to discuss this but I feel like I’m at a loss and that this is all some fever dream. I (30f) just found out that I’m positive for GHSV-1. To top it off I’m newly postpartum with our second child. I’ve been with my husband for nearly 10 years- he’s my best friend and we have an overall good marriage. This is all coming as a shock to the both of us- I knew my husband has a history of cold sores so he is not to blame. I was aware of it before we got married but we never had any issues and were careful etc. fast forward to current day, like I said I just had a baby few months ago intimacy has been an all time low. I don’t even recall anything in recent months where there would have been contact with his mouth on me. But the beginning of this week I started having a lot of discomfort thought it was related to recently having a baby, went to my obgyn and find out that I’m having an outbreak of hsv. I’m mortified, I feel so embarrassed- although I know that this does not change who I am as a person and I shouldn’t feel “gross” about it I do. I’m terrified of people finding out, of course I know some of the staff at my gyn office so now I feel sick knowing that they know I have this. I don’t ever anticipate getting divorced but the thought of having to ever disclose this information to someone new down the road feels scary. I know this sounds dramatic but I feel like this is one of the worst things that could have happened to me right now. Since I didn’t know what it was I waited several days to get checked out and now I’m in a lot of pain and there’s alot going on down there. My husband just keeps telling me it’s okay- but I’m angry and resentful even though I know it’s not his fault. He just continued onto his day to day like I didn’t just find out that I have a virus that will never go away. I’m so worried that I’ll somehow spread this to my children. Overall I just feel so alone and lost and in pain. I started antivirals last night but things seem worse today- I’m scared to go swimming with my family this weekend, I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. Hoping to find someone who maybe can relate to me. I just can’t believe this is happening.