I don't know if I should break up with my partner
Hello All!
The last few days I've(25m) been in anguish with whether or not I should break up with my partner(23f) of 2 years. To start off, our relationship has always been built on me supporting her and being there for her. Before we were together, we were friends for a couple of years, I was her ride to college for years then got together, and even when I was working, I'd pick her up after work and drop her off home, and was always pushing her to get stuff done, like her license and going to the doctor, and I think that I ran myself into the ground emotionally because she suffers from Anxiety and Depression and her depressive episodes especially, recently, have felt so draining. This culminated in 2 days ago, where when she was expressing her hurt with how I brushed off her complaining, that while I still apologized and comforted her, I didn't feel anything?
When I thought about it, I didn't feel anything and I comforted her, not because I felt bad or sad but I knew I had to as a boyfriend? And when thinking about it, I think i've been feeling this way for a couple of months now. I mentioned yesterday how I've been feeling and that I'd need a little bit of space to really think about what I'm feeling and how I'm feeling.
But the more and more I thought about it, I feel like breaking up would be better for both of us? Because I feel like I enable her to not push herself and be more independent because I feel like I am the one just taking over when she needs help.
But on the other hand, i love her so much, she's so ingrained in my life and it hurts thinking about her not being in it. But I don't know how to heal from this stage, I'm planning to speak to her tonight in like 8 hours, after work.
Any advice or nuggets of wisdom would be appreciated.