How do you deal with a dysfunctional family without feeling guilty for leaving?
My family has always been kind of dysfunctional and I genuinely want advice.
My father has always verbally abused my mother and I think there was physical abuse too when I was younger. My mother stayed, mostly because of family pressure and “what will people say.” She’s a housewife but also takes tuitions and does everything at home.
The problem is growing up she told me everything, her trauma, fights, worries. I know way more than I feel like I should and now I feel emotionally exhausted. At the same time, my father wasn’t a bad father to us financially and always supported our education, so I feel conflicted.
Now my younger brother is starting to copy some of my dad’s behavior, insults, anger, even saying “dad does it so why can’t I,” although he also defends my mother from my dad whenever hell breaks loose though its kinda like them facing the mirror.
I graduated, got a good job and I’m thinking of moving away again and after that probably for masters, but I feel guilty.
How do people deal with families like this without becoming responsible for fixing everyone? And how do you support your mom without becoming her therapist?
I would probably stay in job, save some money and then go abroad for my masters, that's the plan for now.
tl;dr- Grew up in a house with verbal abuse, became my mom’s emotional support person, younger brother is picking up bad habits, and now I want distance but feel guilty. Looking for advice from people who’ve been through something similar.
and no this is NOT a karma farming post, I desperately need suggestions