I’ve been dreaming about it.
Call it dreams nightmares or whatever but the urge is getting stronger and stronger everyday. I have the perfect place on my arm to cut and i can’t stop thinking about it. I was at the psych ward less than a week ago and I’m really trying to not cut myself. I was planning to visit my boyfriend who lives in another country now my plans are ruined and i feel like absolute shit. I didn’t want him to see me with a fresh cut especially because i usually cut too deep and i didn’t want any of that. Now that things won’t go my way i feel like there’s no reason to stop myself from doing it. It’s been 9 days from my last cut. The dreams i’ve been having aren’t helping at all. I literally wake up in the middle of the night because of it. I want it so bad.