Ive been friends with this girl for 3 years now. But lately, I’ve been rethinking a lot of things. (I am also sorry for how scrambled this whole post will sound. To be honest, this is just a way to get my thoughts across)
I met her through a school club. I never even thought we would be friends but she reached out after sitting next to me. Ever since then, we called each other best friends.
Back then, she was really into kpop, makeup, and loved the color pink. She also idealized a lot of things, including romance and friendships.
I didnt run into any conflict with her until around early last year. This was when I was in a talking stage with my ex. And as bestfriends, I called her for two hours talking about how the talking stage with him was going. I dont know exactly how it got to this point, but she said something about becoming friends with him, in which I replied with “you can take him.” I obviously meant this in a playful way since that was the vibe of the convo. Very carefree and girlhood type.
1 or 2 week later, my ex (we now officially gotten together) texted me calling about how she had followed him on insta and started talking with him. I asked to see the dms and it turns out that she was actively trying to GET TO know him. And if you had seen the texts, it was clear that there were feelings towards him. I confronted her about this and she said sorry and that she’ll back off now because its “girl code”
a few months later, my ex and I broke it off mutually because the relationship simply didnt feel right. During this period, the friend asked about a prior crush of mine (I liked him for 5 years but decided to give it up and just stay friends due to rejection at a pretty young age) and if I still liked him. It turned out she formed a crush on him because we would sometimes sit at the friendgroup table because I was friends with him and with the others there.
I replied with “I dont know” because I was still saddened by the relationship. Ever since I said that she started to change
She started to sit with them more frequently, and eventually ended up ONLY sitting there. She didnt even know them and would just be on her phone. I talked about if she was avoiding me but she was just wanting to sit there because of the guy.
Towards the end of the school year, I started to mutually gain feelings for him. I have always considered him one of my truest friends- hence why I always had a crush on him. Throughout the year as well, we had a few classes together and walked home after school together.
I talked about this with her and she said she was over him and it was a simple lunch crush.
After this convo, she started to ask me where I bought my clothes and my makeup. She started to get interested in the things I loved doing, videogames. and shortly after, cut her hair exactly like mine (she asked me what haircut I did) Dhe started to wear very similar clothing- same colors and same styles.
in the summer, me and him officially got together. this sparked conflict between us. She admitted to still liking him once i told her the news. She told i should back off him, like how she did for my ex. I explained that it wouldnt do any good for anyone because its also his feelings. We eventually resolved this fight.
after this, she started to keep asking whrre my stuff was from. I wasnt thinking sbout it too much because she considers me her best friend.
I was randomly scrolling on tiktok and saw her repost. It said “i only told one single lie: I dont like him anymore”
A few week ago, she went up to me and excitedly explained about her hair plans and dress for prom. She said she wanted to dye her hair with brown highlights and have either a red or navy blue dress.
I said thats what I wanted to do ALL throughout the year. Ive had highlights but needed to redye it and touch the roots. I also bought a navy blue dress in the fall for lower price.
I forgot to mention we had another conflict about college. She dropped out of my IB biology class and is taking a lower level math because of her low grades. She would often talk about her conflicts and how she didnt know what to do because she wants money but also isnt smart enough for vet. I told her I could always help her. She asked what I was interested in pursuing and I said nursing.
She later came to me with the news that she is going to also pursue nursing but in community college. I asked for her reasoning after congratulating and she said “because of the money and my parents want me to (her mother is a nurse)”
I told her that nursing wasnt a career path you should choose because of money or other people. Its a job where you only should have the drive for. She took my comment as an insult and later I had to apologize for being in her “business“ . She didnt take my reasoning for only wanting to look out for her and only took it as criticism.
What do I do? I feel like my feelings towards her copying could possibly be just due to being friends. But i also cant let go of this feeling of it being wrong on top of many other things.