Today was the first time since being diagnosed & medicated (17months), that ive felt shame because of my diagnosis.
I had to record a Teams meeting that I was hosting, my job on this meeting was to observe someone performing a particular service and then give feedback at the end. We have a cameras on rule.
So meeting happened, all good.
I just rewatched the recording upon sharing it with my boss & colleague, and I am full in Audhd mode. I'm like a wiggly worm, and I stim by touching my glasses & pressing my lips together. It was very confronting to watch back. When it was being recorded, I wasnt aware I was doing so much, and my screen was a little square, so I couldn't really see myself. But it recorded as slip screen! So im up there, stimming (nothing inappropriate, I rewatched it twice more to check), on a 1hr recording.
I feel so embarrassed and wished this never happened. I called my colleague and cried. She reassured me that it doesn't matter (shes aware of my diagnosis) but I'm ashamed of what my boss will think.
Feeling deflated and anxious.