Is this how it was always meant to go?
I wish you could have seen that all I ever needed was love, patience, and a bit of reassurance. I still remember that day at the green house… when I saw her posting to you and I got upset. You came straight over, looked me in the eyes, and told me there was nothing going on, that it was over.
That moment healed me. I felt cared for. I felt like I mattered… like we mattered… like our family would make it through the storm, same the day you said you were sorry and regretted your actions...Maybe I should have told you in both occasions how healing and loving that was to me, si.pme reassurance.
But as time passed, things kept breaking. The anxiety kept growing. And the more it showed, the less you seemed to understand that my mind wasn’t trying to destroy us… it was trying to protect everything we had. It felt like being in a war for so long, just trying to hold it all together.
I wish you had seen how little I needed to feel safe again.
You were my everything… my best friend, my partner (even gaming), the father of our children. And the grief of watching it all slip away has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to carry.
I wish you had seen it.
I wish you had stayed.
I just want to wake up one day and feel… normal again. 💔
(I wish not to ever love like this again)