Close friendship that fell apart
So - context about me, I've always had a pretty small friend circle, valuing quality over quantity in that regard.
I became friends with a work colleague about 18 months ago. things started off slow, but eventually realised there were mutual interests and became quite close friends out of work. been on holidays a few times after our first trip we ended up booking a few more covering the next year almost
in retrospect things probably progressed too fast for about 3 months but neither of us seemingly had an issue at the time.
about November last year things started falling apart. They would just start lying about things all the time. and when caught out would say 'having a perfect excuse seemed better than the truth'
for me quite difficult to deal with as i just cant fathom why someone would think lying is better than the truth but alas, Also as someone who struggles with overthinking this ended in a bunch of pretty bad spirals.
and at this point we had a pretty significant trip booked for January so I really didn't want to sour anything
after a bunch of talking things out we agreed on no more lying etc and any issues should be brought up if there were any. things went well for the next month or 2, with them making it seem things were good and they were really committed to a 'close friendship' as they put it. we go on our trip all seemed well and pretty genuine.
Mid January When we come back, this lying cycle starts again. I have a pretty bad crash out one night because of it and say it just isnt on to be like that to anyone. They responded with making me feel bad about how i reacted and that I was asking too much of the friendship with basic things like (wanting to catch up every 3-4 weeks for a coffee, playing some video games once or twice a week if we had time, not constant but consistent communication not leaving on read for weeks at a time etc)
They had a couple family holidays coming up so I just hoped that the distance away would help smooth things out a bit. Seemingly it did. Things seemed much better up until about 3-4 weeks ago. when once again the lying began again, along with a lot of disinterest about anything in general, we've been for coffee a couple times and its just entirely one sided and just seemingly awkward with them glued to their phone for the duration. To me it seems like they just have entirely normalised dis-interest of people.
At this point I'm entirely burnt out and at the end of my tether. I was hoping with time things would resolve and the friendship would find its balance and remove all the pressure that came with it. I really don't want to give up but I feel like I should at this point. I have really enjoyed spending time with them and their company in the times when it was good.
Any advice is welcome and if anymore detail is needed just ask.
Thanks in advance Reddit