Hi, I’ve never posted before so sorry if this is all over the place
I’m F26 and he’s M28
We’ve been on and off since 2019. At first it was just little issues like him not really planning dates, liking other girls pics, stuff like that. Nothing huge but it would bother me. We broke up in early 2022 because I told him I got harassed by a man and he turned it into me cheating which really threw me off. I moved on, worked, hung out with friends, dated a bit
Then randomly he mailed me something I left at his place with a note. I ended up reaching out and we got back together. We’ve been together about 3 years now since then and have a baby together. Iwill say he is a really good dad. He’s present with our baby, helps out, and is actually really affectionate with both of us. He’s also very cuddly with me and honestly kind of more submissive than I expected which confused me at first compared to how he used to act
But during the time we were broken up he was going to strip clubs, paying for sex, and on hookup apps (including Grindr) About a year into us being back together I ended up catching STDs and he told me it was from before we got back together from that time (Grindr / sex workers). I don’t really know how to feel about that still, and honestly I’m scared of ever catching something again. He also told me he struggles with porn use, especially during my postpartum, which didn’t help how I was already feeling
Now it’s like… sometimes everything feels really good. Almost too good? He’ll be sweet, buys me things, runs me baths, acts like he really cares
But then he can also be mean, dismissive, or kind of sassy when I bring things up and it makes me question everything again. I feel like I’m constantly going back and forth in my head. Like is this something that can actually be healthy long term or am I ignoring a bunch of red flags
It honestly feels like something is off even when things are good, like I’m waiting for something bad to happen
AITA for feeling this way?