Filipina completely changed
Started dating a Filipina long distance earlier this year after being introduced through a mutual friend. We officially became a couple in late February 2026. In the beginning everything felt genuine and easy. She worked, took care of herself, never really asked me for anything, and we talked constantly. She would randomly FaceTime me, check in on me, and the energy felt natural.
I even sent her flowers for Valentine’s Day and she loved them. At that point it felt healthy and balanced.
But around March and especially through April, things started changing slowly. She began subtly asking for things here and there — food, money, help with expenses, etc. It wasn’t extreme, but it became more frequent over time. At the same time, she kept talking about how stressed she was from work and how “no one spoils her except herself.” And everyday she would go to work she would say "I'm so hungry" or "I need coffee". Obviously alluding I should buy it for her, which I have a few times.
What really started bothering me wasn’t even the money itself, it was the shift in energy. Recently, she stopped randomly FaceTiming me. Conversations started feeling different. I brought it up multiple times and she insists nothing changed and says she still loves me, but I can feel a difference.
I also checked her Instagram reposts recently, and a lot of them revolve around themes like:
* “No one spoils me but me”
* “I do everything myself”
* wanting soft life/luxury treatment, etc.
As a boyfriend, reading that honestly makes me question whether I’m being valued for who I am or for what I can provide financially.
I told her early on I didn’t want a transactional relationship. I’ve seen relationships become unhealthy when the dynamic turns into the man constantly proving love through gifts/money instead of building a genuine connection first.
What confuses me is this: before we met, she obviously handled her life somehow. So when stress happens now, why does it suddenly feel like I’m expected to step in financially more and more?
For context, my actual goal was to save money so I could eventually travel to the Philippines and see her in person. But lately I’ve been questioning whether it’s even worth investing all that time, money, and emotional energy if the relationship is already starting to feel transactional from a distance.
At that point I start wondering:
why go halfway across the world if I’m going to deal with the same issues I could deal with dating locally?
I’m trying to be fair and not stereotype anyone because I know every person is different. I also understand economic realities are different in developing countries. But I’m curious if anyone here has experienced something similar in long-distance relationships with Filipinas or international dating in general.
Am I overthinking this, or are these legitimate red flags? I'm of the belief all women expect some sort of material input to be happy. Or maybe I haven't been lucky enough to find this unicorn of a woman that genuinely value connection outside of money and gifts.