Leftover Ekiben (neighborhood bird bowl) spicy fried chicken with rice, pickled onions and cucumbers. I ate a good amount of it before taking the pic lolol.
For the those who didn't see the original post:
https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/GKBsTjyda5
Hi friends, I wanna say thank you to all the advice that I got from my previous post. A LOT happened so I'll try to keep it brief.
I gave him an ultamatum at first, he either moves out with me in June into a smaller place, or I'm done trying in the relationship. I was willing to work it out even through the debt, but he'd need to detach from his weird family dynamic. He of course said no because his mom (55) and sister (23) can't afford the house on their own.
I was confused and was like well your sister has a full time job now. Apparently she lied to me because he said that she told him that it was part time. But get this, I offered her a job at my office. Full time, benefits, in an office environment which would kick start her career in the office/corporate field since her degree is in HR. I was excited to tell my bf that I found a good opportunity to her and it'd be great on her resume. I told her about the opportunity on a Thursday, she said she'd interview that following Wednesday. That Monday, she took a retail job on the spot. Told me it was full time, and didn't say that she wanted to interview at my job. So I left it at that and told my boss the next day.
During a discussion with him, he told me that I, yep, I should have asked her more questions and found out if she wanted to still interview. I'm sorry, if I'm a brokey why tf would I not follow up on a full time job offer?? Why is it MY responsibility? Then he proceeded to say that maybe our family values don't align since he feels like I hate them (mom and sister). Yes of course I hate the girl that I offered a position to in our small office where I'd see her everyday...😒 Yeah I hate both of them but speak to them daily and get them gifts during the holidays.
For some context, this isn't the first time that he put his sister's feelings over mine. Long story short, the first time was when he asked me to drop him off at the dealership last year so he can drive his sister's car home. Didn't make sense to me because the mom and sister were there. He said that she was uncomfortable driving on the highway. (23 years old btw) has been driving for some treats now. I told him no because I wasn't feeling good because of my meds or comfortable driving 45 min there and 45 min back feeling like this. He didn't take no for an answer, asked me three times and his mom called him, I heard her on the phone saying,"ask her again." He then got mad at me, basically said I was a bad person for not helping. (This was worked thru and I almost broke up with him over this tho)
Sorry y'all, back to this weekend. I was really hurt that he said that I hated them, and that he again didn't have my back. I told him point blank that he didn't prioritize me, that I was never his number one. He then said that I'm 1a, sister and mom are 1b and 1c. Sorry big dog that is not gonna work for me. I refuse to take a man's last name, carry his children and I'm not number one in his life. Let alone a man with horrible financial decisions.
And I get it, I've been horrible with money, when my credit card debt got to like $7k iny 20s I did research and figured shit out on my own. I didn't need someone else having to tell me what to do like him. ( And not even listen the first time lol)
My friends are torn on the situation, one thinks I should work it out, two said I'm doing the right thing with breaking up, and then one who's in the middle. I plan on talking to him today one last time and go no contact for a month, since we do have to work out some logistics of getting me off his auto insurance policy and the health insurance.
But good news y'all...I moved into a room for rent since I wanted to get out of that house asap, the women are so nice here! And I had a quiet restful night without hearing his mom's loud steps at midnight and a full bathroom on the same level as my bedroom. It's only 9 min away from my job too!
I also went on a date yesterday, not to use someone to move on but to get out the house and meet people. He's a friend of my friend (who hates men so I know he's a good guy lol). But we had a great time, the leftover food in the picture is actually from our date lol. We also went to an art museum and he enjoyed going thru the silly lil knick knacks in the gift shop. It was easy going and later he texted me:
"I appreciate you. It was just easy with you today. There’s usually not a familiar, comfortable feeling like I had being around you."
It really felt nice to hear because it reminds me that a man should be lucky to have me and do everything in his power to keep me.
I plan on doing a lot of inner work and journaling, planning solo dates, friend dates and others, I've also booked a session with a new therapist. 🥹