u/Front_Possibility471

So I’m 16 weeks now and MAN I feel so much better. In my first trimester I was sure I was going to end my life or cry myself into a miscarriage. But something in the last 2 weeks has just leveled me out. I have so much more energy and I feel like my mood is so stable. I know this is all old news but seriously my behavior and mood swings in the first trimester were on a level of bipolar disorder, psychotic breakdown, lay in bed for days on end crying, writing suicide notes, I called the suicide hotline multiple times and almost check myself into a psych ward. I hated myself and I was convinced everyone else hated me too and now I’m just fine? I’m just okay now? ***seriously?***

So I love my boyfriend very much, I’m sure he will be my husband one day and I am happy about that. We’ve known each other a long time. Anyways we decided it was finally time to move in together so I moved into his apartment with his brother. His brother has some woman hating/anxiety tendencies but said he was moving out in the next month anyways, cool! So me and my boyfriend had a method of avoiding pregnancy that worked great until I took these aryuvedic herbs to balance my hormones, I didn’t realize it would make me ultra fertile and I got pregnant. Long story short his brother was freaked out and mad that I was pregnant and it was awkward, we avoided each other but then he was really rude to me over and over again until the one day I snapped back at him and it turned into an argument. Sure whatever after that happened I decided to move out for a month while he figured out where he was moving out to. A month goes by, he’s still not gone, but we hashed out our problems with each other and I moved back in. then me and my boyfriend both lost our jobs. (He was there for 4 years and I was at my job for 2, not that it matters but he got caught in the middle of 2 companies trying to screw each other over and I quit my job right before he lost his because once my boss found out I was pregnant they started treating me super rudely and weird) So that’s been crap but whatever we will find new jobs. then his brother finally moved out yay and I can really unpack and make it feel like our place now and prepare for the baby and BAM then I just got in a car accident (rear ended someone else 🙁) and with how everything has gone these last few months I feel bad because I’m so so depressed right now. Were drowning in bills and barely have money, pregnancy hormones feel like a battle in of themselves, and now I’m in PT for soft tissue damage to my lower back. It’s crazy how much can change in just a few months.

I’m TERRIFIED for the future right now and I’m having so much trouble being motivated and knowing what to prioritize or do with myself! how can we keep our relationship rock solid and grow as a couple as we make it through this. ? How can we be good partners to each other?

I was paying attention, stopped as fast as I could and it still just wasn’t fast enough. According to the driver I hit the car in front of them wasn’t paying attention and stopped super abruptly causing them to stop abruptly and therefore causing me to stop abruptly.

My car is most likely totaled and I am pregnant but luckily only minor injuries to my knees and fetus is okay too but I am super shaken up about it as this is the first car accident I’ve ever been in.

What can I expect to happen here? Will I be at fault even tho I was paying attention and did everything tried stopping before I hit them, the driver of the car I hit even told the police that the car in front of them was the true cause of the crash. The car in front of them wasn’t hit tho and they just drove off.

This happened in Ohio! I have State Farm and person I hit has Allstate. Any advice to handle this best as possible would be amazing. Thanks in advance

For context me and the father were separated for 2 years. In that time I really did miss him and had time to really grow as a person. As an anxious attachment with childhood trauma I saw how wrong it was to be controlling and possessive the way that I was. I know better now and after 2 years of not speaking to each other he contacted me saying he wanted to get back together, that no other woman would ever be right for him and we had a conversation about our attachment styles and how things would be different.

I was living with some pretty shitty roommates at the time so I just moved in with him, we had lived together on and off throughout 18-21 years old so it wasn’t a big deal, (I’m 24 now) but I move in with him and turns out he is at his lowest, he’s laid off and his job is on the fritz, 5k in debt, and he has 2 of his “cool” cars that are both broken down.

So I say let’s just take things at pace not do anything rash but tell me why he tries to get me pregnant pretty instantly, seriously we were together for 2 months before I got pregnant and I told him that I didn’t want to get pregnant right away. I know I should have been smarter about that part and just not had sex with him but yea no…. He said he would respect my wishes and avoid it but I guess he was just lying.

We had an abortion a few years ago when we dated. I thought this time it would be way different and it is in some aspects. This time he isn’t completely avoiding me and ignoring the fact that I’m pregnant, this time he really really wants it! And he got me flowers for Mother’s Day and has been trying to take me on dates( only because I’m upset, when I’m in a good mood he just neglects the relationship) But he is still the same pussy of a man that is so damn stupid when it comes to finances and being considerate. I’m not clinging to him or controlling him anymore like the first time we dated but fuck is he clinging to me. I feel like I’m having to mother him. Like he’s being incompetent on purpose to piss me off, I don’t even understand it.

I can’t raise him and a child like this. Im 14 weeks now and things between us emotionally and financially have just gotten worse and worse the more pregnant I get. I spend most of my time crying my eyes out considering suicide and sleeping as much as possible and when I’m not doing that I’m working or cooking food for us too eat.

There’s a lot of things he does right, like helping to keep the house clean, never raising his voice or hands at me, helping me with things WHEN I ASK HIM and only when I ask him. He’s working for himself doing trade work but idek if it’s enough to keep the bills paid. Working has been hard for me too and I’m worried the more pregnant I get the more dependent on him I will have to be and that terrifies me too. Our water almost was shut off a few weeks ago. But he’s lying to me about stupid stuff and still getting ripped off by all the people he surrounds himself with. He surrounds himself with leaches because he’s a people pleaser basically.

I hate it here and idk what to do. I’m considering abortion or adoption or maybe even just selling everything I own and restarting in another city and raising the kid there as a single mother. I don’t even know at this point I’m just fucking terrified. Bottom line is he is such an incompetent person I worry that the child would be neglected and traumatized if he had to raise it on his own, In his own time. (If we were broken up and had split custody).

I feel tricked… I’ve always wanted to be a mom but my family has never been supportive of me. me and him both had some pretty bad childhood trauma that we’ve worked really hard to change out of for the better. At first it just seemed like he grew up a lot in the time we were apart and I was so happy to feel at home in his arms again. But now I’m just remembering all the hell I went through that led me to getting an abortion the last time we were together. I feel like such a damn poor idiot

I wish I had a better upbringing and parents to talk to. I wish I knew better than to be in this situation but it seemed right at first and now I just don’t know. Advice from the people of Reddit?

22 blue/white collar, nature loving, food loving, social butterfly northeast Ohioan looking for a fresh start.
I want to restart my life in the best place possible and I’m starting research to figure out where that may be!
Please include pros and cons for the city/state you think is best. Thanks :)

What the fuck man. Shits not even that bad compared to these sad fuckers in Gaza and I’m over here about to kill myself because I can’t stop being so sensitive to negativity and other peoples bullshit and my own bullshit like nobodies perfect and here’s me out here getting bent out of shape cause no one’s perfect like I hate myself at this point I’m so over it dude I just want to die so bad sometimes man fuck. I don’t want to keep going on like this. Then I have a good day and I think well “wtf was I even so sad about” I be wondering if the shit I’m mad about even makes sense to be mad about or if I’m just over fucking reacting. Valid in one persons eyes but not another everyone sees a different reality like Maybe I just need to fucking dissociate and smile through all the fucking retardation around me and not fucking care anymore yea maybe I’ll just smile and stop caring. Idek how else to cope other than that fucking dumb bitch cunt aids dude fuck this shit.

Context: me and my boyfriend are struggling: like less then 100$ to our names and are both recently jobless with no way of knowing how we are going to pay rent next month struggling. My car note is on the verge of repo and it’s the only working vehicle we have.

We both have ptsd from childhood we have worked really hard to fix, for example: we both grew up In really dirty homes and as adults we keep our house very very clean. We also saw a lot of arguing and went through a lot of neglect growing up but as adults we value peace and not arguing and we makes sure we both feel heard and taken care of by the other while not being codependent. We don’t do drugs and quit smoking nicotine this last year.

Why I am considering adoption:
I don’t feel like this is a good situation to bring a child into and I’m terrified of our child having unnecessary trauma. Yes they would be loved and in a safe home but I barely have money for food to eat and I’ve been wavering in and out of depression because of the stress so i don’t even know how we would take care of the baby too.

Due to being moderately anemic from a rare blood disorder and coming from a job field that’s basically incompatible with being pregnant (blue collar work) I feel pretty bottlenecked and I’ve come to realize that I’ll be dependent on the father throughout this process of late pregnancy and newborn stages and I already feel like I can’t depend on him. On his part he has failed to consider and plan for the future to avoid turmoil and he also will prioritize the needs of others at the cost of sacrificing himself. I’m afraid that when the baby comes he will continue to let others walk all over him and our child too and put other peoples pain above his own and that could result in me and baby hungry and baby having a mother who’s too stressed to be mentally stable.

I know there are parents who have tried and tried and can’t have kids who would love to have children but can’t. They could provide a stable home where our baby won’t go through trauma from being neglected or not having the things they need to grow. Where their parents will be mentally stable enough so that way our kid can really thrive.

It’s breaks my heart to even consider this but I just don’t know what else to do. I’ve already had an abortion before and I refuse to do that again.

We are kind of on the more alternative side of life. I’m the mother and I really love boys names for girls, the father suggested Austin after his favorite stripper from the local strip club.

I wish I was posting this to rage bait but I’m actually so serious. 💀💀 what would you think if you met a girl with a guys name like Austin? How do you feel about it personally?

Yes, she would be named after the war general and president Ulysses S Grant.

This will be both of our first born so we want it to be a strong first born name! Also I am a woman with a masculine name and I would like to keep that trend going!

I love how unique it is.
I love how powerful it sounds.
I am the mother and thought of this name in regard to my appreciation of U.S/world history.

The father is against it. lol

Context:
- once upon a time I was single and had my own place, a good job and was very happy with good friends, then I fell in love with a guy and after 6 months I gave up my apartment and moved in with him… we lived together for 7 ish months… his true controlling and volatile colors showed and I became severely depressed in that relationship. so then about a year ago now I went through that bad breakup and moved in with my little brother until I could get back on my feet I was there for 3 days before he kicked me out over making dinner late(yes seriously) my mother even took his side about it saying “I know it’s your fault because it’s always your fault” when I had an apartment I let my brother live with me for multiple months rent free even tho it was hard.. all I wanted was the same love in return but it was like he couldn’t wait for an excuse to put me on my ass. My mother is BPD and a lifelong criminal drug addict and my little brother doesn’t have a real life, all he does is play video games and I’m sure feels hatred towards me over our childhood. So Then after that I slept in my car for 2 months but was convinced by my ex to move back in so I wouldn’t freeze over the winter. Then the man whom I’d been on and off with since I was 18 who I still loved dearly reached out after not talking for over 2 years and said he loved me and missed me and wanted to get back together. So I hopped from the toxic guy to my other ex and after 2 months he got me pregnant. I didn’t want or plan on being pregnant. We tried to avoid it to but it just happened. Then over the last 3 months I have been screamed at and had terrible arguments with his little brother that lives with us that hates me, which warranted me to move out and live with my dads mom which this lady is basically a stranger to me, she’s severely depressed and going through bankruptcy, so I stayed with her for a month before moving back in with my boyfriend cause his brother is going to move out. My boyfriends bestfriend whose wife just took there kid and left him got drunk while hanging out with us and felt the need to start yelling at me about not leaving his bestfriend like his wife left him. My boyfriend is being financially fucked by the company he works for right now and we’re struggling to even pay the bills. Seriously our water was so close to being shut off it’s not even funny. Before I got pregnant I was snow plowing in a skid steer and doing masonry work which is work I can’t even imagine trying to do while pregnant. Laying bricks sure but using any type of saw could make the kid deaf. So I’ve hopped around 2 different construction project management roles, I left the one job because the company had a bunch of illegal employees and the boss was a POS, the money wasn’t worth the stress at all so I quit and then I landed this really awesome PM job with a company but it’s all commission based and now I had to let that go because I LITERALLY DONT HAVE GAS MONEY TO GET TO MY APPOINTMENTS. I just don’t. I had been uber driving to supplement myself to make it to a paycheck but at this point everything just feels so fucked and so overwhelming that I don’t want to be here anymore. I feel like I’m still in the same flight or fight mode I was in my entire childhood. This isn’t what I imagined for my life. I’m in such a bad headspace and I live In the USA and things have gotten so so so bad here politically and society speaking. I fear for my child growing up here and I fear for myself as a woman and the economy seems to just keep getting worse all while I wish my brother and mother would care to be the bigger person for once. I’ve always been the glue in the family, the one looking to see the positive and apologizing so that way we could all try and be a family despite the trauma endured but after that happened with my brother kicking me out over making dinner late (9pm) and the way they acted about it… not giving a rats ass what happens to me I just can’t even imagine them being in my life. I had done so much to try and make things better, like hosting Christmas at my apartment and helping them when they had problems so for them to treat me like this…. It’s been almost a year and they haven’t once reached out and said they miss me or anything. So I feel like I’m going through this pregnancy without any family and I just can’t fucking bare it. I’m having flashbacks everyday and I can’t even get out of bed, I’m crying every other hour, I literally don’t have any fight left in me. I’m planning on writing suicide notes and just slitting my wrists in a parking lots somewhere. I just can’t do it anymore.

I’ve gone through multiple good “spurts” where I was able to get in a healthy routine and maintain functionality and happiness enough to feel good about my life for maybe a few months.. the one time it was a whole year… but they never last… something always happens that ends up destroying me mentally and emotionally and while a typical person seems to just be able to recover.. this stress damn near leads me to destroying myself every time.

That voice in my head that goes “cmon, I know the last year was bad and filled with way to many tears and heart ache but you’ve got to get back on the horse you can do this” I developed this voice when I was a kid to keep me alive in times when I had to find my own food or survive the cold when I was locked out the house in the middle of winter.

Now that voice has changed over the years… now the voice says “ I’m exhausted, we’ve tried our best our whole life and it’s not working… we keep ending up back at that same heartache and struggle we grew up with”

I’m 23, and with this voice in my head and a lack of ambition to keep getting on the horse I’m thinking about just ending it. It just sounds so peaceful compared to getting back on the horse just to fail again.. just to hurt again… idk how everyone else does it… maybe I’m just weak and I’ve had to deal with to much… every animal has its limits and I’m like an overloaded dehydrated camel ready to just lie down and die in the Sahara.. I’m ready to give in… :(

Preventative maintenance?

Issues to watch out for?

Best practices?

Favorite tires/rims?

Best hybrid battery aftermarket replacement?

(Side note, I think I’ve been burning a bit of oil as it was low the last time I got an oil change, what could this mean? Is this normal)