Am obsessed one man while freshly dating another
So long story short, I met a man on an app called Wakie and I became so deeply infatuated with me that I want to know everything about him even though I know we will never come across each other.
Now for the long story:
I met a Danny, m27, on an app called wakie. Me and him got along so well, we called almost every night, slept on the phone together often and even did some "stuff" on the phone... Well, one night November 30th to be exact, he ghosted me. I was so deeply sad and confused on why he would do that considering everything and how he treated me. After a while I realized that I had fallen for him and made another account with the same user I had (he would crack jokes about it) when we first started talking, just to try and catch his attention in case he ever came back to the app. A week before my birthday in January he came back, he apologized and we did "stuff" on the phone that same night. We caught up with each other and he made absolute sure that I understood that he would delete his account again when he got bored of it, I said I did that id be okay. I am not okay. He ghosted me again, except before hand, maybe a few weeks before, he asked for my discord and I gave it to him twice and reminded him so much to add me; he didn't. I got drunk one night and I confessed how I felt about him, he kinda just played it off which I expected, but it still hurt, I told him how much I had loved him and how I when he talked about people, it just made me sad. I told him how sad I was cause I knew he was going to ghost me again, he said he wasn't going to. The next day, I got raped and tried to called him cause hearing him would've made me feel better, but he never answered me or my texts and then his account was deleted a few hours later. I was devastated, but I knew it was going to happen.
I miss him so much.. but I recently got a boyfriend, back in March. I'm still looking for Danny, anything about him, but I love my boyfriend. I don't know what to do.
I know I need to let go of Danny. I know he doesn't care about me, cause if he did, why would he ghost me twice? But, how he treated me and talked to me, I just couldn't help but fall for him.. I feel so ashamed of myself.
Please knock some sense into me.