I think I have hyperphantasia, and it's made my anxiety 100% worse (trigger warning, description of abuse)
Ok, so I (F20s) really need some insight on what this is, and if I have hyperphantasia. I went down a Google spiral that led me here, and checked all the boxes in the self-check on the subreddit. I have a doctor's appointment scheduled soon, but I'd like to be able to ask the doctor about key things. With that being said:
I have always been an artistic, visual person, and the only one in my family who really can "see" things, like future projects, verbal descriptions, etc. Where I am concerned, is that while I can visualize things better than most, it's become very bad for my mental health. I've been diagnosed with a general anxiety disorder for several years and have taken medication for it. I was able to get off the medication and was doing pretty well until some really big things in life happened a year later. To make a long story short, while trying to get back on my meds, I've started having near-hallucinations, so realistic that I can't sleep because of fear. An example, my partner is someone my parents don't really approve of, and while at my parents' house, I was getting ready for bed. I was on the phone with my partner, and I had a vision of my parents being so obscenely mad at me that they violently swing the door open and scream at me, etc, etc. (This is a milder one, but it caused me to stay up the entire night, completely paralyzed and staring at the door, which really concerned my partner). My parents are NOT violent and have never done anything to indicate this type of behavior. It's almost all the time that I have a vision of people, specifically my parents, absolutely losing it over something incredibly small. I'm a desperate people pleaser, an extreme empath, and I feel like if I overstep, I've ruined everything. Seeing all these really disturbing, vivid visions is ruining my life. I'm not even sure how to proceed. Thank you in advance.