WIBTA if I broke up with my fiancé over her son
I, M44 have been dating my fiancé, F42 for 3 yrs. She has one son, 25 and I have 3 daughters, 24,
22 and 20. I love my fiancé very much and we are very compatible. The issue is between her son and me and my daughters. Her son has been diagnosed autistic late in life. He’s functioning and works but cannot perform skills like cooking or driving, understand social cues or have any manners. This leads to an issue everytime myself and/or my daughters are living with them for a weekend. My fiancé son sleeps until 5pm everyday because he goes to bed at 6am. He showers for an hour between 2-4am. He stays awake all night either in the bathroom or walking around the house. It is very unsettling when we are all trying to sleep. Nevermind when one of 2 bathrooms is constantly being used leaving one bathroom for 5 people to share when we have nighttime routines. He’ll eat everything in one sitting. Batch of 48 cookies, all gone. Pan of brownies, eaten. If my girls don’t get their food first, there will be no food left. He leaves nothing for anyone else. My fiancé thinks it’s great her son has such a big appetite but honestly, it’s rude. Following eating all the food will be non stop belching and farting at the dining room table . I’ve tried to talk to my fiancé, she’s very sweet but she doesn’t actually do anything to help the situation. She tells me that we all need to live with it and if we are to move in together that this is the way life will be because he’s autistic. There is no attempt to try to correct the issue on her side. She sends him to therapy, sporadically, then gives up (say 5 visits in 5 months). She hasn’t reached out to organizations for help, she just lives in this bubble expecting all of us to accept this situation. She just expects everyone to change for him when I don’t think it’s fair to everyone else. Im trying to figure out if it’s the autism or bad parenting and if IWBTA for breaking it off with her. Am I being unreasonable?