My wife's strange behaviors
In my early 30s I met my now wife. We both worked in the same place and that's how we met. I was in a relationship and so we she. She came off as very hostile and demanding. I didnt like working with her because these things. I wanted to and eventually ended things with my girlfriend at the time. There was another employee I’ll call Raquel. Raquel and I always got along while working. We eventually exchanged phone numbers and were texting. Randomly my now wife texted me to stating that Raquel wasn't the only person I could text. So now for weeks i was texting both of them. My now wife one day invited herself over and made sexual advances towards me, that i reciprocated
For the first 2 years of our relationship, she wanted sex all the time. Like we would be watching tv and she would just go for my zipper, unprompted. Before we started dating, I heard she was thinking about adopting a baby from South Korea. Now she's not Korean but did take a Korea as a foreign language in college and visited Korea often before we met.
She decided that she wanted to have a baby. I wasn't excited about the idea but she was.
One day she got me excited and started having sex with me. I asked her to stop, i wasn't in the mood. She simply said, but it feels so good. I asked her again and she kept going. Eventually I finished. I laid there after she got up and felt like shit. She got pregnant right away and had the baby with no complications. A fast delivery and we were home. We both talked about a name and agreed on one, Wren. After wren was born there was a lack of affection towards me for it was focus on Wren. I get that and understand that. After a year we had sex for the first time since Wren was born. This would become the norm. We went from sex multiple times a week to 6 to 9 months. She claims she doesnt like the way she looks, she thinks she's too fat after the baby.
Shes literally skinnier than she's ever been and still sex is once every 6 months. A lot of people think she’s a lesbian. Her clothing, her mannerisms, and hair styles. She always denied even liking females. My wife always had the baby in her basinet in our room. When Wren was old enough, she started sleeping in the bed and I decided to take the couch. There just wasn’t enough room 3 people in a full bed. My wife never complained. My wife let this go until Wren was 9. Im finally able to sleep in the bed again.
I like sleeping with my head towards the wall. The bed has no headboard or anything. Its a mattress on a bedframe. After about 3 weeks of us sleeping side by side, she decides she wants to sleep at the other end of the bed. In other words, her head at the foot of the bed and her feet towards my face. I will say that when I moved back in to the bed we had sex twice that month. That seemed like a miracle. I thought we were back together. The only time she offers any sexual favors is if im depressed. like thats going to fix me. Otherwise my advances get shot down. I cuddle her on the couch she says “what are you doing? Ow you're hurting me” it seems overly dramatic for me just trying to cuddle with her on the couch. So, I just stop trying. But she sees no problem sitting on my lap when I'm lying on the couch or sitting on my chest. I don't mind it because she's paying attention to me. she is there for me when I have mental breakdowns and she's the only one I trust when it comes to this. She talks me off the "ledge". This doesn't happen very often, but he is very comforting and understanding when I'm depressed or anxious. When I'm normal she isn't affectionate at all.
One thing that always stuck out to me is 'She would never buy me a present for birthday or Christmas if she didn't like it. Our first Christmas together she said "Why would I buy that for you? I don't like it. She has gotten better but even then; she's buying the version she likes of anything I want regardless of my preferences. If I ask her about it, she will say They were out of that one, or I forgot which one you liked
What's going on with my wife? We've been together for over ten years. I we can been to therapy on my suggestions, and she quit after 2 sessions. What's your take on this, any insight would help/
tl;dr She actively went after me while working with her. Was very sexually forward. Basically, {g}raped me and got pregnant. after that sex is 6 to 9 months. Only very supportive if I'm having a crisis. Buys present she likes for me.