How do I wait this out?
Long story short, I was mentally unwell when I met my husband. Without realising it, we became a codependent mess. As I got more and more mentally healthy however, we started to clash a lot more. He was jealous, controlling, and wanted my attention 24/7. I pushed back against that. I can see now we both had issues with alcohol abuse as well, another thing I’ve healed from that he hasn’t. Potentially this is because he can only be assertive (aggressive) when drunk? Which leads to the hardest thing; his extreme passive aggressive behaviour. He will NEVER voice an issue, but will punish me (with silence, glaring, stomping about) until I can draw it out of him. Sometimes it takes weeks, and is usually something objectively small, like I didn’t smile at his joke. My Psychologist suggested I stop buying into it, which I have, but despite his many promises to change he hasn’t. He’s FIFO, and I’ve started having panic attacks when he’s at home - he is just such a sulky, oppressive and needy presence these days. He did go to therapy, and his own psychologist wanted to talk about him maybe having BPD - which he didn’t like at all, and refused to entertain that idea.
How do I deal? More time away from him? I know divorce would solve it, but that seems intense. Has anyone else dealt with this dynamic?
Tl;dr Passive Aggressive Husband giving me panic attacks, what to do?