I don't know what to think, but, I think you guys might be able to help find some answers
For story context, Me, my brother (22) and my younger sister (11) are all on the high-funcioning end of the Autistic spectrum while my parents and older sister (mid 20s) are all neurotypical.
I (17 Enby) came out to my parents (55M and 44F). In December (on the 1st) and initially I was a bit pushy with corrections, which resulted in my Dad saying that he would never call me my chosen name or by they them pronouns. During this argument my Mum took his side and saying that it's just a phase and the stereotypical "my child is coming out to me as some form of trans I don't really like it" arguments, which still confuses me as my parents call my trans friends by their preferred pronouns and the like, and when I asked about this, I was told they call my friends by their preferred because "they're not their problem" being told this really threw me off.
Since then, its been 6 months and they don't totally hate that I'm nonbinary (i think?), my Dad actually tries to wrap his head around it, but my Mum basically never tries, and she says she's "forgetful" but she can remember my friends pronouns mostly without a problem?? My younger sister does whatever my parents do and says "well Mum calls you deadname so why should I call you chosen name?" She also purposefully gets my pronouns wrong as well just to make a point or to annoy me. I've asked her to stop dead-naming me and to stop misgendering me, but she doesn't.
Alongside this, My parents say I can't "Force her to call me by my name and pronouns, and that's it's up to her whether she does or not"
The only people that call me preffered my name and pronouns are my friends (one if which i droppesld because they made a stupid joke saying "he him, you better listen up" to which i responded by calling him an effing asshole and not talking to him afterwards) my older brother, and my older sister
Are my parents being transphobic? I don't feel like they're trying to be, but the fact I'm writing this post shows that I'm clearly feeling that they are in some way.
Please help me figure this out