u/Full-Literature6093

Hello,
I was in a relationship with someone for a year and a half. I wanted to marry that person; we bought an apartment together, and I was very close to proposing. However, two months before that, things blew up again and I could no longer continue.
Unfortunately, that person had trauma from a previous relationship in which she had been cheated on, and it affected our relationship. For example:

Throughout the entire relationship, and even afterward, she kept bringing up my ex.
She said hurtful things to me, even after the relationship ended, and many of them I still can’t forget (she told me I had almost given her cancer, that I should be careful when I have a child because there’s a chance they could have mental health problems, that I was mentally damaged).
She would yell and wake me up in the middle of the night because she couldn’t control her anger.
She threatened to take pills, to throw herself off somewhere, and once chased after me down the stairs in front of the building barefoot.
We argued about absolutely everything, even something as simple as me saying I would post a photo of us on Instagram later on; for her, that became a reason for a huge fight.
She made me delete all the photos from my social media that were from the time I was in my previous relationship (the other girl wasn’t even in those photos; they were just pictures of me).
We once had an argument that lasted 9 hours—yes, 9 hours—because when we moved in together, she found a hair on an old piece of clothing.

Fast forward one year: she stayed in the apartment we had bought together (we divided the property, and she paid me a large portion of the money), and she is still contacting me and wants us to get back together.
We made one attempt that lasted a few days, but I explained to her that I simply can’t do it anymore:
I don’t see her the same way anymore.
I no longer feel that desire for her to be my partner.
I’m afraid she will behave the same way again.
The chemistry and passion are gone.
THE PROBLEM IS: she refuses to understand and has been contacting me for months! Can you help me make her understand?

Hello,
I was in a relationship with someone for a year and a half. I wanted to marry that person; we bought an apartment together, and I was very close to proposing. However, two months before that, things blew up again and I could no longer continue.
Unfortunately, that person had trauma from a previous relationship in which she had been cheated on, and it affected our relationship. For example:

Throughout the entire relationship, and even afterward, she kept bringing up my ex.
She said hurtful things to me, even after the relationship ended, and many of them I still can’t forget (she told me I had almost given her cancer, that I should be careful when I have a child because there’s a chance they could have mental health problems, that I was mentally damaged).
She would yell and wake me up in the middle of the night because she couldn’t control her anger.
She threatened to take pills, to throw herself off somewhere, and once chased after me down the stairs in front of the building barefoot.
We argued about absolutely everything, even something as simple as me saying I would post a photo of us on Instagram later on; for her, that became a reason for a huge fight.
She made me delete all the photos from my social media that were from the time I was in my previous relationship (the other girl wasn’t even in those photos; they were just pictures of me).
We once had an argument that lasted 9 hours—yes, 9 hours—because when we moved in together, she found a hair on an old piece of clothing.
Fast forward one year: she stayed in the apartment we had bought together (we divided the property, and she paid me a large portion of the money), and she is still contacting me and wants us to get back together.

We made one attempt that lasted a few days, but I explained to her that I simply can’t do it anymore:
I don’t see her the same way anymore.
I no longer feel that desire for her to be my partner.
I’m afraid she will behave the same way again.
The chemistry and passion are gone.

THE PROBLEM IS: she refuses to understand and has been contacting me for months! Can you help me make her understand?

Hello,

I was in a relationship with someone for a year and a half. I wanted to marry that person; we bought an apartment together, and I was very close to proposing. However, two months before that, things blew up again and I could no longer continue.

Unfortunately, that person had trauma from a previous relationship in which she had been cheated on, and it affected our relationship. For example:

• Throughout the entire relationship, and even afterward, she kept bringing up my ex.
• She said hurtful things to me, even after the relationship ended, and many of them I still can’t forget (she told me I had almost given her cancer, that I should be careful when I have a child because there’s a chance they could have mental health problems, that I was mentally damaged).
• She would yell and wake me up in the middle of the night because she couldn’t control her anger.
• She threatened to take pills, to throw herself off somewhere, and once chased after me down the stairs in front of the building barefoot.
• We argued about absolutely everything, even something as simple as me saying I would post a photo of us on Instagram later on; for her, that became a reason for a huge fight.
• She made me delete all the photos from my social media that were from the time I was in my previous relationship (the other girl wasn’t even in those photos; they were just pictures of me).
• We once had an argument that lasted 9 hours—yes, 9 hours—because when we moved in together, she found a hair on an old piece of clothing.

Fast forward one year: she stayed in the apartment we had bought together (we divided the property, and she paid me a large portion of the money), and she is still contacting me and wants us to get back together.

We made one attempt that lasted a few days, but I explained to her that I simply can’t do it anymore:

• I don’t see her the same way anymore.
• I no longer feel that desire for her to be my partner.
• I’m afraid she will behave the same way again.
• The chemistry and passion are gone.

THE PROBLEM IS: she refuses to understand and has been contacting me for months! Can you help me make her understand?