Okay so I've never gone to the gambler before but next month my planning on bringing my shitbox Celica alltrac. I visit kinda want to go to with people that have done it in the past. Was going to do it last year but my friends bailed on me.
Since being single I've spent a lot of time working on myself and I've gotten back into dating I realized even with being some flavor of non-monogamy nobody as even come close to being something I've actually want. I have no problem getting dates and I'm usually the more interesting and attractive person but my unconventional interests, kinks, and desired dynamics kinda make it all feel like a crap shoot. Doesn't help I'm not allowed on the more popular dating apps anymore (Not something I did, just am trans and that made enough people maliciously report me that I got banned). I know what to need to do is find people outside of apps but I get overstimmed at shows, and I find more normy hobbies to be boring. I'm on the outside of a bunch of communities because I just don't fit in. When you don't look or act your age it makes it unclear what age group I should be dating. Problematic age gaps are common in the trans community and I'm trying my hardest to not be part of that.
If I lower my standards then I'll just end up disappointed, that's how I ended up on a loveless marriage and kinda wasted my 20s. Now I'm in my 30s, more attractive than I've ever been, own a house, have a decent work from home job, I'm a fucking catch! Finding queer dominant women is so hard and dudes just ain't my vibe for the most part otherwise I'd probably be having an easier time. Like I know it will happen eventually but 2 years of dating (50+ people, that number is a little stack because I tried speed dating once out of curiosity) hasn't given me any hope that my people are out there. I need to put myself into more situations to meet people naturally but that's so hard when you don't have a friend group that regularly does stuff and doing stuff alone feels kinda empty.