what should i do after feeling lonely for so long
idk how write anything, but i just needed a place to let my thoughts out and maybe get a reply or two, so if i mess something up or im redundant, sorry.
i had recently lost a friend, not to death or anything like that, but because we did something and they felt uncomfortable weeks after. both of us agreed, i asked if they wanted to do it multiple times, and took care of them for a week straight, making sure they were really good. i dont trust easily to call anyone a proper "friend", but i was promised.
ive grown up crying over "friends" who leave. all that remains here are people either years older or years younger than me. ive felt so lonely for so long being the only one my age, and im so tired crying over people who ill never grow up with, and it hurts so much but im exhausted having to cry with each loss of someone who i couldve been closer with.
all i ever wanted was to have someone grow with me, someone my age, someone who would drag me to go outside who id drag to be with. and im not even talking about looking for love anymore (even though that was what i was mainly looking for), i just want someone to experience life with.
ps. i do have friends online, but thats just it, theyre just online, they have lives i cannot experience with them.
im not looking to validate my feelings or anything like that. i just want to know what i can do to feel less lonely? or do now, idk, but any advice could give me an idea.