I'm 2 years clean but feel hopeless
Hi. I've struggled with addiction for as long as I can remember. Now I'm 20 and have been 2 years clean since March. This is the longest I have ever gone without and honestly I'm not really sure if I can say I've been completely without but that's besides the point. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't feel accomplished for making it this far. I know I should. I should be proud and happy but I'm not. I still struggle every single day. I think about relapse every day and some days it's all I can even think about. I'm in a good place with almost every part of my life but I still can't escape it. I just don't know how to not feel hopeless about it all. I feel like I'm just killing time until an inevitable relapse that destroys everything I've built in the last 2 years. I wonder what's even the point of it all. I guess I just want to know how I can stop feeling so broken and hopeless when it comes to addiction. How do I stop thinking of it.