u/Gloomy-Claim52

There’s this girl at my university that I never even knew existed. One day we randomly connected through an app and started talking. From the very first conversation, everything felt effortless. We talked for hours, got to know each other deeply, and before I knew it, we were texting almost the entire day. Soon we exchanged Instagram and WhatsApp, and after 3–4 days of talking nonstop, we finally met in person.
She was amazing.
We sat next to each other for hours just talking, and deep down I already knew I was going to fall for this girl. After that, we kept spending more and more time together. Everything felt easy, natural, almost heavenly. The vibes were perfect, the energy matched so well, and I genuinely felt happy around her.
On the last day before semester break, we went out for coffee and sat in a café talking for hours again. That day we opened up a lot. I told her about my ex and my relationship history, and she told me about her two exes — both had cheated on her and left her with a lot of trauma.
That night I dropped her home feeling happier than I had in a long time. I remember thinking: “This is the girl I want.”
She stayed on my mind 24/7.
Then vacations started and she went back to her hometown. Slowly, the conversations became dry. I started feeling like I was the one carrying everything while she was just replying. I think I have an anxious attachment style, so naturally I started overthinking. I was always initiating conversations, always texting first, always trying.
Eventually I convinced myself maybe she only saw me as a friend and I was just imagining everything. So I stopped putting in effort and tried distracting myself instead. Our conversations slowly died out.
During that time she would occasionally reply to my stories, but we barely talked.

Then university opened again.

On the very first day back, I had absolutely no intention of texting her. I was just sitting there when suddenly she texted:

“Let’s meet.”

I went to see her, and somehow everything instantly felt perfect again. Same energy, same comfort, same connection. We sat together for hours and it felt like nothing had changed.

After that we started hanging out almost daily. I got deeply attached to her again. The only issue was texting — she still felt distant online. When I brought it up, she told me she just wasn’t a texting person.

We started going out on weekends too, spending even more time together. But I still felt like I was always the one initiating plans while she simply showed up. When I mentioned that, she said even her friends complain that their friendships only survive because they make all the plans.

I ignored the imbalance because when we were together in person, everything felt so genuine.

As time passed, she slowly opened up more about her trauma. She told me how badly her ex treated her — cheating multiple times, manipulating her, blaming her for everything before leaving. She told me she didn’t think she could ever love someone again.

I always reassured her. I wanted her to feel safe with me.
A couple of weeks passed like this. Some days she showed so much energy and affection, other days she completely pulled away. I kept checking up on her regardless.

Then one random night, we were texting and somehow she forced me into confessing my feelings. I basically told her that if someone spends this much time, effort, and emotional energy on another person, then obviously feelings are involved.

She immediately said I shouldn’t think that way and that I should stop.

I panicked and told her we could just stay friends and that I regretted bringing it up. Then she asked me to call her.

When we got on the phone, she started crying.
I kept apologizing and trying to comfort her, but she said it wasn’t my fault — it was hers. I told her I wasn’t going anywhere and that nothing had to change between us.

And weirdly enough… after that conversation, things actually became better.

We kept hanging out all the time. There were moments where it genuinely felt like she wanted me too. She would show signs, give attention, hold my hand — and every small thing meant everything to me.
I was putting in so much effort because I genuinely cared about her. I loved being there for her. I loved spending time with her. Even though texting was still dry, I ignored it because in person she felt completely different.

Then university closed for a while because of holidays and Eid, and she went back to her hometown again. We barely talked during those 15–20 days, but at that point I had accepted that maybe she just communicated differently.

When she came back, she texted me herself and asked me to go out with her.

We spent the day together, talked about everything she did during the holidays, and once again everything felt perfect.

After university reopened, we were spending entire days together again. By this point, I had completely fallen for her.

Then one random Saturday night, she didn’t see one of my texts. I didn’t think much of it and just went to sleep. But for some reason I had this terrible feeling that something bad was about to happen.
The next night she texted me saying:
“I need to talk.”

And then she told me she couldn’t keep doing this anymore. She said she couldn’t afford to get attached and that we should stop being friends.

I didn’t ask for an explanation. I just said okay, respected her decision, and said goodbye.

Honestly, it broke me.

But I decided I wasn’t going to beg someone to stay if they had already made up their mind.

I expected her to remove me from everywhere after that, but she didn’t. She still kept me added everywhere. She still sent me snaps — songs we used to listen to together, little things connected to our memories, things that clearly felt like “I miss you” messages.

But I still didn’t text her because I wanted to respect her decision.

About two weeks later, she replied to one of my snaps. I asked if we could meet because I needed to talk to her. After insisting for a while, she agreed.

We met at a cafe.
That day I finally told her everything.

I told her how deeply I had fallen for her, what my intentions were, how much she genuinely mattered to me, and how she never left my mind. I even showed her my phone albums filled with pictures of her and us together, and my notes app where I had written down her favorite things.

I almost cried sitting there in front of her, hoping maybe she would finally let herself choose us.

And honestly, I could see on her face that she missed me too.

But she still said she couldn’t do it.

She told me that one day I would hate her if she stayed. She said she knew her own patterns, that she was avoidant, and that she pushes good things away before they get too close.

Then she looked at me and said:

“You needed closure. I gave you closure.”

I remember sitting there thinking: how can someone feel so much and still walk away?

I didn’t know what else to say.

So I just said goodbye and dropped her home.

And that was probably one of the most painful drives of my life. Will post part 2 soon. If you read yahan tk “mwah”