My boyfriend [17M] keeps repeating behaviors that hurt me [16F] after promising to change. How do I handle this?
Me [16F] and my boyfriend [17M] (who i will call Cole in this post) have been having those frequent arguments where I get upset over something he does, we talk about it multiple times and we come up with a solution, then a few days later, he keeps doing things that make me feel upset or hurt.
My main issue, is that yesterday we were talking on discord, since we dont live together and see eachother around 3 times a week, and we like to have those video game sessions where we call and play different co- op games.
The whole day he kept annoying me on purpose and doing other things like, screaming slurs as i was leaving my apartment building to go to the store, and everybody heard him, even though i had told him to keep quiet beforehand even though he knows I'm having neighbour issues. Later that night I told him that I am going to go make myself a sandwich because im getting hungry and he agreed, but then my alcoholic mother came back home and started talking about stuff that made me feel very uncomfortable and hurt. I hurried back into my room, only to notice that he had left the call and texted me that he's going to go hang out with his friend (it was around 2:00am, and he didnt even ask if it was okay or talk to me about it. one simple text and that's it.) I didn't say anything of course, i tried to be understandable even though I felt hurt. He mentioned that he wont be able to play with me because he has school on tuesday (we dont have school on monday this week) and has to prepare. The morning rolls around (monday) and one of my friends texts me to hang out and i agree, i text him to see if he wants to hang out too, since i forgot that he wasnt going out today and he said that "he already has plans with a friend".
Something else that left a big impact on me is from around 2 months ago where he was texting one of his female friends. I have accessibility to his chats (he completely agreed for me to be able to see, I wouldnt do it without his permission) and i could see that he was talking casually, nothing romantic behind it, but she was texting in a way that made me feel uncomfortable (using all caps, cute emojis, liking all of his messages, typing excitedly) and I asked him to limit his contact with her because i dont feel good about it. He agreed then kept talking woth her 3 more times. The only thing he changed was that he muted his chat with her so it doesnt pop up in my notifications on my phone.
He also completely broke my relationship either my bestfriend by telling a guy that she doesnt like him, to which the guy confronted her and straight up told her "Cole told me that". Of course she confronted me and went no contact sith me, which hurt me deeply.
I dont know what to do anymore. We have been together for almost a year, I've tried communicating my feelings with him but its like talking to a brick wall.
How do I handle this issue?