u/Gymsocks2

TLDR: Mexican boyfriend’s dad keeps overstepping boundaries in our home. Ex: parties at our house and coming over unannounced

Hey! So I’ve been dating my boyfriend about three years now. He recently bought a house and I of course moved with him as we have been living together just about as long as we have been dating.
We also house another roommate.
When we moved in his dad has been over steeping boundaries like crazy.
(To add my boyfriend’s family was born in Mexico & moved here. My boyfriend was born in New York. Has only been to Mexico about 3 times in his life. )
His dad just randomly always comes over and walks in without asking or letting anyone know.
We were getting ready to go out to eat and his dad just comes over and starts drinking then invites about 5 other random people over to drink. I was like “who are these people???”
My boyfriend’s birthday is coming up and all he wanted to do was chill.
So I had a small day planned to celebrate him then a chill relaxed evening so he didn’t have to do anything since he works sun up to sun down just about daily.
His dad told me he invited 50+ people over to our house to celebrate him.
These people aren’t even his friends… they’re his dad’s friends.

Then the following weekend he goes “I hired a DJ to come to your house to celebrate his sister graduating. I invited about 70+ people”

Like huh??? It’s not your house to do this. Our town has no loud noises after 10p and bro wants to do this on a Monday….
He said he “they will be okay”

His dad said he’s going to take my boyfriend traveling with JUST him and his dad. I’m not allowed to go. Yeah I know I can’t say no to a father son trip. But I don’t like the fact I can’t go. And I definitely am not okay being home alone with the roommate. Us being together for so long should be an indicator that we do everything together. Which we really do. We legit go everywhere together.

I think I am insecure and worried he will cheat. But he’s never given me a reason to think he will. But I’m still scared about that.

I’ve talked to his mom about the roommate situation and she said “we aren’t married I don’t have a say”

But my boyfriend doesn’t believe in marriage. He believes it’s a piece of a paper. That you don’t need marriage to be together.

The biggest thing is he never steps up to his dad. He lets his dad do whatever he wants.
My boyfriend and I recently went out to dinner for my birthday. Of course his dad showed up knowing we were going out and comes over and starts drinking.
He asks the plans and he told him “going out for her birthday”
He said okay nice!
We end up getting to the restaurant. His dad again calls and asks what we are doing. We tell him out to dinner for my birthday.
Then he said to come over and eat dinner with him??? Like what??
Then mid dinner we have to leave because his dad told us to go pick up a coworker and take them home because his dad didn’t wanna do it. (They own a restaurant).

Like I want to talk to his dad about over stepping these boundaries. But I don’t know how.