u/H2OSD

After 4 years of in home care and 5 months in MC we are done. 56 years of marriage, the last pretty sad. But it was a good life for us both until then.
If you draw the Alz card as we did, we had it far easier than many of you. Maintained her ever so pleasant disposition all the way to the end. Aides always referred to her as Smiling Lynn.

Don't have much to add. Wonderful woman, wife, mother and grandmother. She's at peace now. Bless morphine. I may return here some but I kind of doubt it. It's been a painful ride and I'd like to get it behind me. May you all find peace and comfort.

I won't repeat our journey, I guess you can scroll back if you want. Both 75, married 56 years, she was diagnosed 4 years ago. I cared for her at home until it was breaking me, moved into MC December.

Things were going well, but mental deterioration was evident. The move to MC was super right for both of us. Then about a month ago the deep tissue damage (aka bedsores) made their debut. Dressing is ugly, painful, and can be odorous. She's bed bound, pretty severe pain, got moved to oxycodone few days ago and debating morphine. Been under hospice for almost a year. Her food and water intake is becoming minimal. Always a sweet personality, still able to smile, and the aides all call her smiling ____. So sorry for those of you who don't have that ending. Every day at lunch one man can be counted on to rail for 2-5 minutes with F you, leave me alone, leave me the F alone and so on. Most of the patients have learned to just smile and shake their heads. Anyway.

I was expecting the food aspiration and pneumonia to be the issue. But, it looks like it will be general breakdown from the bedsores not able to heal, or infection. As the time grows closer, my breakdowns are less frequent. Tonight I finished (well, needs polish) my remarks for her service and it was cathartic. Only thing left is obituary. It's a strange phenomenon, I know I'll be crushed but good Lord will I be glad this is over.

I'll stick around so can share the end for those interested. What a miserable club to be in. May all of us get through this, recover the best we can, and have some joy and happiness to finish our lives with. Be well.