u/Head-Soil-6720

I’ve (M28) been friends with this guy (M28) on Facebook for years and we actually knew each other as kids, but recently he started initiating conversations with me more often and slowly became flirty, so naturally I flirted back and things eventually became romantic/mutual. One time during our first meetup, we also became intimate, which made the connection feel even more real and emotionally deeper for me. He told me he liked me and even admitted he had already imagined a future with me in his head, so naturally I became emotionally invested too. However, over time I noticed I was usually the one initiating conversations while he became more inconsistent and emotionally distant. He previously mentioned that he was socially drained and only really had energy for family because of work stress and personal issues happening in his life. I eventually stepped back because I felt emotionally exhausted always initiating, but after some time I reached out again asking if we could talk for clarity whenever he was ready because I didn’t think silence would resolve anything. He recently replied saying he has a lot happening lately, including shifting roles at work, and said he doesn’t really like talking about emotional/relationship topics in person. In the end, he said “let’s just be friends for now” and apologized. I responded respectfully and thanked him for being honest. Right now I’m still emotionally processing everything because I know there were real feelings involved at some point, but I also recognize the dynamic became unhealthy for me because I was constantly overthinking, looking for signs, and emotionally anxious. I unfriended him and made a new Facebook account mainly to stop myself from constantly checking his profile or messages, although I still think about him a lot. I’m trying to focus on myself now, especially my personal video editing projects and rebuilding my peace, but part of me still wonders if this was emotional unavailability/avoidant behavior, bad timing, or simply someone who liked me but couldn’t give consistency. I also wonder if there’s still a possibility he reconnects someday or if I should fully let go emotionally. I still like him and would pursue him if there’s a chance...

I’ve been friends with this guy on Facebook for years and we actually knew each other as kids, but recently he started initiating conversations with me more often and slowly became flirty, so naturally I flirted back and things eventually became romantic/mutual. One time during our first meetup, we also became intimate, which made the connection feel even more real and emotionally deeper for me. He told me he liked me and even admitted he had already imagined a future with me in his head, so naturally I became emotionally invested too. However, over time I noticed I was usually the one initiating conversations while he became more inconsistent and emotionally distant. He previously mentioned that he was socially drained and only really had energy for family because of work stress and personal issues happening in his life. I eventually stepped back because I felt emotionally exhausted always initiating, but after some time I reached out again asking if we could talk for clarity whenever he was ready because I didn’t think silence would resolve anything. He recently replied saying he has a lot happening lately, including shifting roles at work, and said he doesn’t really like talking about emotional/relationship topics in person. In the end, he said “let’s just be friends for now” and apologized. I responded respectfully and thanked him for being honest. Right now I’m still emotionally processing everything because I know there were real feelings involved at some point, but I also recognize the dynamic became unhealthy for me because I was constantly overthinking, looking for signs, and emotionally anxious. I unfriended him and made a new Facebook account mainly to stop myself from constantly checking his profile or messages, although I still think about him a lot. I’m trying to focus on myself now, especially my personal video editing projects and rebuilding my peace, but part of me still wonders if this was emotional unavailability/avoidant behavior, bad timing, or simply someone who liked me but couldn’t give consistency. I also wonder if there’s still a possibility he reconnects someday or if I should fully let go emotionally. I still like him and if there’s a chance, I’d court him

Problem/Goal: Was this emotional unavailability, avoidant behavior, or just bad timing?

Context:

I’ve been friends with this guy on Facebook for years and we actually knew each other as kids, but recently he started initiating conversations with me more often and slowly became flirty, so naturally I flirted back and things eventually became romantic/mutual. One time during our first meetup, we also became intimate, which made the connection feel even more real and emotionally deeper for me. He told me he liked me and even admitted he had already imagined a future with me in his head, so naturally I became emotionally invested too. However, over time I noticed I was usually the one initiating conversations while he became more inconsistent and emotionally distant. He previously mentioned that he was socially drained and only really had energy for family because of work stress and personal issues happening in his life. I eventually stepped back because I felt emotionally exhausted always initiating, but after some time I reached out again asking if we could talk for clarity whenever he was ready because I didn’t think silence would resolve anything. He recently replied saying he has a lot happening lately, including shifting roles at work, and said he doesn’t really like talking about emotional/relationship topics in person. In the end, he said “let’s just be friends for now” and apologized. I responded respectfully and thanked him for being honest. Right now I’m still emotionally processing everything because I know there were real feelings involved at some point, but I also recognize the dynamic became unhealthy for me because I was constantly overthinking, looking for signs, and emotionally anxious. I unfriended him and made a new Facebook account mainly to stop myself from constantly checking his profile or messages, although I still think about him a lot. I’m trying to focus on myself now, especially my personal video editing projects and rebuilding my peace, but part of me still wonders if this was emotional unavailability/avoidant behavior, bad timing, or simply someone who liked me but couldn’t give consistency. I also wonder if there’s still a possibility he reconnects someday or if I should fully let go emotionally. I still like him and would pursue him if there’s a chance...

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