Can I ask for a perspective on my social media stalking behaviour on the man I was dating, please?
Hello, I am writing to ask for a perspective on my situation. I have already posted this in another subreddit but then deleted it. I decided I wanted to ask this question to women as I am sometimes still expressing myself too emotionally and looking for attention which is crossing the lines of men who are in relationship and also I don't want to cross lines myself.
I was dating a man. The connection was strong and mutual. We had a lot of challenges early on and we still tried to make it work through a couple of years, later on only being in touch very little because we have hurt eachother so much and involved other people. We have both crossed eachother's serious boundaries and at the same time both of us tried to address the challenges and change.
I put a lot of emotional pressure on him. He had boundaries and I haven't. Which meant that he could communicate things seriously while I just went further. However at the same time this meant that he could cross my boundaries and I would then just snap and do something extreme because I didn't have set boundaries but he could stay more regulated because his boundaries needed to be respected. So it meant that he had a lot of pressure to carry because he had to figure out the boundaries for the both of us.
This then comes to the end of our connection. At the end when we were very little in touch and I started checking his social media very very often. It was truly extreme, however I didn't cross a boundary like trying to figure out his password or something similar. I believe he was also checking my social media as sometimes his reaction to the change of something on my profile (we were not following eachother) came very quickly. One day I texted him what I was doing and he threatened with a police report and blocked me for the first time. We mutually created this situation.
I immediately took it seriously and from that moment on have changed my behaviour immensely and addressed the root cause of stalking. I started seeing the situation for what it was and also started seeing that for both sides it is crucial to have boundaries otherwise I am unsafe person myself and he has to keep the boundaries and figure out how far he can go for the both of us.
In the last few months since this has happened my behaviour has change a lot however I did cross a boundary by creating a fake profile (but recently addressed this and someone has access to it so I can't log into it anymore) and still was checking his social media profiles.
I would like objective but completely honest answers:what can you say about my behaviour from a legal point of view? The fact that I am still stalking him months later?
Even if the police got involved it would not help, as I have been addressing my behaviour for months. I am looking for help and doing a lot of things as this is very serious to me. What matters most to me is the feeling of his safety. I will continue to address this however I actually wonder what this situation now looks like. I am not trying to hide my behaviour and if he texted me to ask me, I would be completely honest and would admit that to police too.
Thank you so much for reading and any incoming perspective on my situation.
All I hope is that the answers would be honest and point things out however I really don't wish for anyone to say anything hurtful about him or the connection.