Today I had a really stressful situation where my dog was barking at one of the cleaners at the business where my business (small restaurant) is located. My dog is old and small and never bite anyone but the lady was extremely scared and had a very intense reaction. Regardless, I’m completely at fault.
I got hold of my dog, took him inside then helped the lady to calm down. I apologised and let her know that my dog wouldn’t be left out at the courtyard on his own anymore. We never had an issue with this in the park, but he clearly can’t be trusted.
When I came into the business, I’m very distressed by what had happened — I was sad for the lady, embarrassed what my dog that done that, worried that she was going to complain to the building, etc. As I tried to calm down, I heard my dad calling my dog a ‘good boy’ which made me very confused. He did this a couple of times, intentionally loud so my mum and I could hear him.
I understood that he was saying this because the lady outside was black and this was extremely disappointing coming from my dad. My dad is a good hearted person, but he often makes jokes that can be hurtful and unfortunately racist.
This also angered me immensely. I have a lot of responsibility on my shoulders: my business, I have a 17-month daughter, and very little time for myself. I see myself as a professional business woman and this casual racist joke was the last straw for me.
I have launched into a very emotional attack, not only calling out his racist joke and overall unprofessionalism, but I have also called him a rotten, good for nothing human being, to name a few of the things I said. I know I went too far, but to me this was the event that confirmed the pattern. I believe my dad is often trying to get a reaction from others (good and bad) and is often antagonistic.
My dad is 64 and retired and he helps a few hours a day at the business. The money helps my family but I don’t think I can do this any longer. I feel completely trapped and stuck with a person that takes no accountability, is flippant and disrespectful and seems to enjoy humiliating others with little jokes.
I’d appreciate if any of you had any advice. Would you end your professional relationship with one of your parents if you were in my situation?