I don’t like to write too much especially because this day and age i think people get bored of reading but i’ll start off by explaining the beginning.
This was a girl and I met at a friend gathering and i’m a male btw. Her and I connected very well and kept talking constantly everyday phone calls falling asleep on the phone texting everyday. It got to a point where i knew i wanted to take her serious but it did take about 2 months to get her walls down because she did not trust anyone at all. We went on a trip to our local city together and it went amazing like a match made in heaven. It got to the point where we both knew we were for each other. Then i planned a trip to my home country and we both went on month 4. It was an amazing trip and she was so grateful and all she can say was that i am amazing and i am the best and she’s so happy to be there with me. One thing she did tell me on the trip was if i don’t ask her out by month 5 that she will stop talking to me and ghost me. She also showed signs of stalking me and trying to figure out if i was talking to other woman so she cared! I took that as a shock because i was already expecting to ask her out but i was taking my time. I was actually going to do it on the trip but i ended up waiting for after the trip. We said i love you for the first time and everything on that trip and it was the peak of our relationship. Then comes the hard part.
I asked her to be my girlfriend 2 weeks after the trip. Everything went amazing the proposal went amazing. She was my girlfriend. A few days after she had some problems in her life that affected her like money and family issues and those really bothered her and made her take distance. I was okay with the distance because i just accepted who she was and i told myself if i want to be with her i need to accept this. But she was distant for so long, we were about to hit our one month anniversary and i barely even saw her. The one time i did see her i bursted out complaining because i didn’t understand why she wasn’t the same anymore. She then told me that the problems in her life made her distant towards me. Then a week later she told me she wanted to break up. Because she was overwhelmed with her life and me. She also said that she sees how much effort i put in her and she cannot relay the same energy. I was okay with it i accepted she is not in the space to give me what i want so i didn’t fight it.
The next day after the breakup she texts me saying if we can still be friends because she cannot see a life without me. Me being emotional i said yes but that was one of my biggest mistakes ever. For 7 days we were friends and all i can think about is if we would get back together. She was double texting a lot and wanting my attention but as a friend i knew that’s not how i would text her. It’s like when i stripped my attention she wanted more. She said she would want to but it would take time for her to get back to herself and work on us and it wasn’t guaranteed at that. She went out a few nights later and it was killing my soul. She went out was under the influence and texted me and called me saying she missed me and she is in love with me. She said everything around her reminds her of me. Mind you under the influence lol. That day we fell asleep on the phone. This was day 7. So i hung out with her on day 8 and i told her in person i cannot be your friend. I told her that im too fresh off my emotions and if i am your friend i will just be expecting that you might fix yourself for us and that’s a gamble on my emotions. I ended it right there and yes she was a dismissive avoidant. I’m okay now i’m doing pretty well especially realizing that i can’t let my emotions take over my day to day life.
I truly believe in my head she will come back and try to reconnect. She is all about independence yea but the way we ended was very healthy and i was the best guy ever to her. I’m not saying she’ll come back wanting to fix things but more like wanting to reconnect and be friends. Do you know what’s the worst part about that. By the time she comes back i won’t even want her lol. Dismissive avoidants are so unattractive in the sense that they think they want something and then they can’t even give you love like you love them.
Any thoughts guys i need people to talk to lol? This all happened this week so i am fresh to it.