u/Odd-Supermarket7983

Hi all,

I'm writing as a 21 yo whose currently living at home with my older parents. 2 years ago, my parents rescued a dog from the shelter who we discovered was a Cane Corso after a DNA test. I've grown up with big dogs my whole life, and I've never been scared of any of our dogs besides him. If you know anything about CCs, they have an extremely powerful and dangerous bite.
Our CC had no record of biting when we adopted him, and to be clear he has never drawn blood. However, I'm not sure what to do anymore because I think he is one small slip up from someone getting seriously hurt.

He bit my sister (ripped her jeans but missed her skin) after he came up on the counter to lick the side of a bowl and she told him off. No growling -- just snapped at her.

He has bitten my mom twice (but not broken skin) after she's accidentally nudged him while he was sleeping with her in bed. No growling again.

One time I was petting him while he on the floor, and he decided to get in my face and snap at me very aggressively. No warning growl. Today, he was laying in my bed and I was petting him when he snapped at me out of nowhere. No growling once again. I genuinely cried after because I was so disappointed and upset because I love him so much, but now Im be scared to even pet him.

My parents are older, and the CC is very protective of my dad, especially when my mom is around. My mom is incredibly nervous around him, and my dad excuses his behavior because he loves him so much. My parents are only getting older, and his behavior today was seriously alarming to me. He has so many triggers that we've tried to work around and then he bites out of nowhere. I'm also worried because my mom has parkinsons that will only continue to progress. And what if that becomes a trigger too? He'll go months with no incidents, and then something will happen. I can't even bring my friends over to the house because I don't trust him not to bite them out of nowhere. My mom and I went on a trip recently (without him), and when we were leaving she actually cried because she didn't want to go home to him. And I don't blame her, because I too constantly feel on edge with him.

I don't know what to do. I've told my dad he needs to sleep in a crate at night because of his history of aggressive behavior in the bed but my dad disagrees and says something along the lines of, "he slept in the shelter for all those months he deserves to sleep in the bed." Listen I love having my dogs in my bed, but not when they growl and snap out of nowhere. and ultimately it's not my decision as he doesn't sleep in my bed at night. But I feel so bad for my mom who is constantly terrified of getting bit by this dog.

Today seriously scared me along the lines that I thought he needs to leave our house completely. And I really love him and it breaks my heart, I just have that feeling that something really bad is going to happen eventually to a guest at our house or to my mom. I don't even know if rehoming him would be ethical though, considering all his triggers and biting history. Any advice or input is welcome. TYIA

TLDR: Do I text an ex bestfriend HBD? The last time we spoke we left things in a weird space but still have said HBD to each other over the past 2 years.

I'm looking for some advice on whether or not to reach out to an ex best friend on her birthday coming up. Long story short, we were part of a trio that fell apart 2 years ago because of me. I recognize now that the way I went about ending the friendships was very immature -- I basically had a lot of built up resentment towards both of them for not including me in everything.

On Allie's bday two years ago (changing name for anonymity) I wrote her a long letter on how I was sorry that our friendship fell apart and that I was happy that her and Lilah had gotten closer. I explained that it was painful and uncomfortable for me to be friends with both them when they were so close and I felt on the outside. My hope was that I could still be friends with both of them, just no longer in a trio as it was too upsetting to me to hangout with them both at the same time. The timing of the birthday was selfish I admit, and I regret that our last conversation altogether was an argument where we all got angry at each other and I essentially stormed out of. It seemed like there was no fixing the trio, but I wanted to still be friends with both of them.

Fast forward, and Allie and I haven't communicated other than simple "happy bday" texts over the past 2 years. I waited for her to text me, and she never did. i regret never texting her first to resolve anything, but I kept telling myself that if she cared about me, that she'd reach out to speak to me. She never did other than to say happy bday to me. This year we graduated college, and I'm not sure whether or not to even send her a birthday text. Truthfully, I don't want to be close friends with her again, but I'd maybe like to get some closure between us as we enter our real adult lives. I've done a lot of reflecting and I deeply regret the ways I went about things and not reaching out sooner. I don't want her to think that I'm not sorry for not reaching out, because I am.