u/That_Vast_4854

Assalamu alaykum everyone 🤲🏼

My little family is struggling emotionally and mentally at the moment. My husband moved to Dubai for work, leaving us in our home country to join him in a few months time in’shaa’Allah. As such, my baby and I have moved back into my childhood home with my toxic parents. My parents are narcissists and I struggled a lot while growing up. We are Muslim, whereas my parents are Christian. They have been making it very difficult for me by controlling how I raise my child and the decisions I make as his mother. It feels like my mom has been competing with me as she has been treating my son as if he is hers. To keep this post short, I’ve decided to not share examples of what she does. I would really appreciate it if you could keep us in your duas. Things have been very difficult for us lately. I am drained and having a hard time focusing on being happy with my baby and it’s affecting my deen.

I need advice. Am I wrong for speaking up?

My husband moved to Dubai at the beginning of the month. To save money for us (me 27F with 5 1/2 month old) to join him, we cancelled our rental lease and I moved in with my narcissistic parents who I’ve fought with in the past.

My mother has been very possessive and obsessive over my son as if she birthed him. My parents have been walking all over me since giving birth. They don’t respect my choices, often making passive aggressive remarks. For example, my baby is only 5 1/2 months, I decided to only feed him solids and bone marrow at that today. He only started sitting upright by himself recently. My parents have been wanting to feed him cereals and I said no to starch. He took the bone marrow well and was inching forward for more and more so my mom said “he’s enjoying it because he’s long overdue for solids.”

The incident that threw me off the edge is that since living with her and my dad, she’s been more conceited than usual. My son has always cried when I change his clothes and now she says “oh he doesn’t cry when I change him” or when I clean his nose, she said “oh he doesn’t cry when I clean his nose” and today I gave him medicine and he started crying and she said to my father, while I was not in the room “he didn’t cry when I gave him medicine earlier. I wonder why he cries with her.” I finally had enough and walked to the other room and said “Mom, please don’t say that. It doesn’t make me feel nice” she scoffed and said that she didn’t mean it in any bad way and that she meant it as my son cries because he wants me to comfort him. She said that because yesterday I told her that he only cries a lot with me to show his true emotions as that what TikTok says. So she used that as her excuse. I then repeated myself and she said “you don’t understand what I’m saying” and I said “… but you’ve been saying how he doesn’t cry when you change him, clean his nose and now with the medicine. It doesn’t make me feel nice. You say it with a pompous attitude.” Then she says “oh my gosh” and I walked away because my baby was crying. While away, I started crying and my dad says to my mom “you must stop talking to her (me). You know how she gets” and that was so hurtful. I’ve always hated being around my parents. I hated growing up under their roof and having to be here again just sucks. I don’t know what to do

I (27F) don’t even know how or where to start. I studied a little psychology in university and we dived into narcissism. This helped me understand my parents better. I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist but my parents have many narcissistic traits. You can imagine how hard it was growing up with them. I am also the first born so I was the project kid. The trial and error child. I tried my best, excelling in school. Once I got to university, I became introverted and kept to myself a lot. I didn’t/don’t have many friends.

I have been married for the past 4 years, being with my husband for 7 years and knowing him since high school. We have an infant. I was in a seriously toxic relationship before my husband so that toxicity lingered in my relationship with my husband. When we’d fight, I would say hurtful things to him without realising what it would do to him. He once told me that I’m like my parents - a narcissist - and this made me feel terrible and made me ask a lot of questions about myself.

Fast forward, a few days ago, I was researching covert narcissism and I feel like I check all the boxes and this worried me. Maybe my husband was right. How do I get better? What do I do?

Just watched the episode and the Muslimah is so intelligent Allahumma barik, but I feel like she wasn’t heard. I always find that these debates leave a lot of questions unanswered.

Have you watched it yet?

I work hybrid and yesterday was my office day. I CANNOT get over the traffic both morning and afternoon. The sun in my eyes, the icy air and the changing from first to second gear on the highway is next level.

My (27M) husband and I (27F) have been married for four years with an infant. We have a pretty good relationship and we probably fight about once a month - big fight and not smaller disagreements. When I say big fight, I mean tears and both parties are hurt. Our fights have this trend where we argue, get heated, sometimes there’s miscommunication and gaslighting but a few hours later, we end up talking it through and resolving the issue. I want to know if that actually makes our relationship unhealthy. I know that every relationship has ups and downs but I’m starting to wonder if we actually have a toxic relationship.

Tl;dr husband and I fight once a month so I want to know if this is an unhealthy marriage.

Hello guys,

I need a good HDMI splitter to connect two monitors to my work laptop. I’d need to extend the screens and not duplicate them. Takealot has many mixed reviews so I’m not sure which is a good inexpensive brand.

Any recommendations?

Thanks!