u/corgis_are_cute_7777

​

# Firstly, thank you so, so, so much to everyone who supported me- whether that was through DMs or via comments or Discord, etc. etc.

I'm writing this from the back of a classroom.

So I don't want to pretend I never liked the narcissist that constantly lied, never could take responsibility not even once, and lived under a total delusion that he was a guilt-free clean perfect person (yuck NOTHING ON EARTH could be farther from the truth).

In my humble opinion, I'm maybe 70% "over" it, but there's the 30%...

I strangely miss the sweet times, the cute times. The kindness times and all the real connection times.

Now, I talk about it, and all my friends agree it was all just manufactured lovebombing.

People from the internet also agree that it was all fake, manufactured lovebombing, so he could get whatever he wanted for his sick twisted toddlerhood-pulverized ego.

I just really, really, really, really thought that this person was "special."

He was just fake.

I will be glad however, since... because of him, other narcissists who enter my life (or try to, anyway) have only minimal effect on me now.

It's just sometimes hard to believe I will ever be "seen" and "loved" to the supposed extent that he did. And I am literally twenty-nine years old.

They know exactly what they're doing. They just refuse to take responsibility; he lived in an absolutely complete, total delusion.

There is still 1 narcissist in my life at the moment, but fortunately, I only have to be near that narcissist for several hours a day at most.

Part 1 for your reference:

# How do you feel about people like this?

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately, that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind, that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

Inserting a note: He was so full of anger and so much resentment; just always masking it, and again he could *never even acknowledge* the shitty awful horrible things he did.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

# Firstly, thank you so, so, so much to everyone who supported me- whether that was through DMs or via comments or Discord, etc. etc.

I'm writing this from the back of a classroom.

So I don't want to pretend I never liked the narcissist that constantly lied, never could take responsibility not even once, and lived under a total delusion that he was a guilt-free clean perfect person (yuck NOTHING ON EARTH could be farther from the truth).

In my humble opinion, I'm maybe 70% "over" it, but there's the 30%...

I strangely miss the sweet times, the cute times. The kindness times and all the real connection times.

Now, I talk about it, and all my friends agree it was all just manufactured lovebombing.

People from the internet also agree that it was all fake, manufactured lovebombing, so he could get whatever he wanted for his sick twisted toddlerhood-pulverized ego.

I just really, really, really, really thought that this person was "special."

He was just fake.

I will be glad however, since... because of him, other narcissists who enter my life (or try to, anyway) have only minimal effect on me now.

It's just sometimes hard to believe I will ever be "seen" and "loved" to the supposed extent that he did. And I am literally twenty-nine years old.

They know exactly what they're doing. They just refuse to take responsibility; he lived in an absolutely complete, total delusion.

There is still 1 narcissist in my life at the moment, but fortunately, I only have to be near that narcissist for several hours a day at most.

Part 1 for your reference:

# How do you feel about people like this?

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately, that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind, that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

Inserting a note: He was so full of anger and so much resentment; just always masking it, and again he could *never even acknowledge* the shitty awful horrible things he did.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

# Firstly, thank you so, so, so much to everyone who supported me- whether that was through DMs or via comments or Discord, etc. etc.

I'm writing this from the back of a classroom.

So I don't want to pretend I never liked the narcissist that constantly lied, never could take responsibility not even once, and lived under a total delusion that he was a guilt-free clean perfect person (yuck NOTHING ON EARTH could be farther from the truth).

In my humble opinion, I'm maybe 70% "over" it, but there's the 30%...

I strangely miss the sweet times, the cute times. The kindness times and all the real connection times.

Now, I talk about it, and all my friends agree it was all just manufactured lovebombing.

People from the internet also agree that it was all fake, manufactured lovebombing, so he could get whatever he wanted for his sick twisted toddlerhood-pulverized ego.

I just really, really, really, really thought that this person was "special."

He was just fake.

I will be glad however, since... because of him, other narcissists who enter my life (or try to, anyway) have only minimal effect on me now.

It's just sometimes hard to believe I will ever be "seen" and "loved" to the supposed extent that he did. And I am literally twenty-nine years old.

They know exactly what they're doing. They just refuse to take responsibility; he lived in an absolutely complete, total delusion.

There is still 1 narcissist in my life at the moment, but fortunately, I only have to be near that narcissist for several hours a day at most.

Part 1 for your reference:

# How do you feel about people like this?

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately, that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind, that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

Inserting a note: He was so full of anger and so much resentment; just always masking it, and again he could *never even acknowledge* the shitty awful horrible things he did.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

# Firstly, thank you so, so, so much to everyone who supported me- whether that was through DMs or via comments or Discord, etc. etc.

I'm writing this from the back of a classroom.

So I don't want to pretend I never liked the narcissist that constantly lied, never could take responsibility not even once, and lived under a total delusion that he was a guilt-free clean perfect person (yuck NOTHING ON EARTH could be farther from the truth).

In my humble opinion, I'm maybe 70% "over" it, but there's the 30%...

I strangely miss the sweet times, the cute times. The kindness times and all the real connection times.

Now, I talk about it, and all my friends agree it was all just manufactured lovebombing.

People from the internet also agree that it was all fake, manufactured lovebombing, so he could get whatever he wanted for his sick twisted toddlerhood-pulverized ego.

I just really, really, really, really thought that this person was "special."

He was just fake.

I will be glad however, since... because of him, other narcissists who enter my life (or try to, anyway) have only minimal effect on me now.

It's just sometimes hard to believe I will ever be "seen" and "loved" to the supposed extent that he did. And I am literally twenty-nine years old.

They know exactly what they're doing. They just refuse to take responsibility; he lived in an absolutely complete, total delusion.

There is still 1 narcissist in my life at the moment, but fortunately, I only have to be near that narcissist for several hours a day at most.

Part 1 for your reference:

# How do you feel about people like this?

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately, that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind, that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

Inserting a note: He was so full of anger and so much resentment; just always masking it, and again he could *never even acknowledge* the shitty awful horrible things he did.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

# Firstly, thank you so, so, so much to everyone who supported me- whether that was through DMs or via comments or Discord, etc. etc.

I'm writing this from the back of a classroom.

So I don't want to pretend I never liked the narcissist that constantly lied, never could take responsibility not even once, and lived under a total delusion that he was a guilt-free clean perfect person (yuck NOTHING ON EARTH could be farther from the truth).

In my humble opinion, I'm maybe 70% "over" it, but there's the 30%...

I strangely miss the sweet times, the cute times. The kindness times and all the real connection times.

Now, I talk about it, and all my friends agree it was all just manufactured lovebombing.

People from the internet also agree that it was all fake, manufactured lovebombing, so he could get whatever he wanted for his sick twisted toddlerhood-pulverized ego.

I just really, really, really, really thought that this person was "special."

He was just fake.

I will be glad however, since... because of him, other narcissists who enter my life (or try to, anyway) have only minimal effect on me now.

It's just sometimes hard to believe I will ever be "seen" and "loved" to the supposed extent that he did. And I am literally twenty-nine years old.

They know exactly what they're doing. They just refuse to take responsibility; he lived in an absolutely complete, total delusion.

There is still 1 narcissist in my life at the moment, but fortunately, I only have to be near that narcissist for several hours a day at most.

Part 1 for your reference:

# How do you feel about people like this?

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately, that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind, that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

Inserting a note: He was so full of anger and so much resentment; just always masking it, and again he could *never even acknowledge* the shitty awful horrible things he did.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

# Firstly, thank you so, so, so much to everyone who supported me- whether that was through DMs or via comments or Discord, etc. etc.

I'm writing this from the back of a classroom.

So I don't want to pretend I never liked the narcissist that constantly lied, never could take responsibility not even once, and lived under a total delusion that he was a guilt-free clean perfect person (yuck NOTHING ON EARTH could be farther from the truth).

In my humble opinion, I'm maybe 70% "over" it, but there's the 30%...

I strangely miss the sweet times, the cute times. The kindness times and all the real connection times.

Now, I talk about it, and all my friends agree it was all just manufactured lovebombing.

People from the internet also agree that it was all fake, manufactured lovebombing, so he could get whatever he wanted for his sick twisted toddlerhood-pulverized ego.

I just really, really, really, really thought that this person was "special."

He was just fake.

I will be glad however, since... because of him, other narcissists who enter my life (or try to, anyway) have only minimal effect on me now.

It's just sometimes hard to believe I will ever be "seen" and "loved" to the supposed extent that he did. And I am literally twenty-nine years old.

They know exactly what they're doing. They just refuse to take responsibility; he lived in an absolutely complete, total delusion.

There is still 1 narcissist in my life at the moment, but fortunately, I only have to be near that narcissist for several hours a day at most.

Part 1 for your reference:

# How do you feel about people like this?

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

# Firstly, thank you so, so, so much to everyone who supported me- whether that was through DMs or via comments or Discord, etc. etc.

I'm writing this from the back of a classroom.

So I don't want to pretend I never liked the narcissist that constantly lied, never could take responsibility not even once, and lived under a total delusion that he was a guilt-free clean perfect person (yuck NOTHING ON EARTH could be farther from the truth).

In my humble opinion, I'm maybe 70% "over" it, but there's the 30%...

I strangely miss the sweet times, the cute times. The kindness times and all the real connection times.

Now, I talk about it, and all my friends agree it was all just manufactured lovebombing.

People from the internet also agree that it was all fake, manufactured lovebombing, so he could get whatever he wanted for his sick twisted toddlerhood-pulverized ego.

I just really, really, really, really thought that this person was "special."

He was just fake.

I will be glad however, since... because of him, other narcissists who enter my life (or try to, anyway) have only minimal effect on me now.

It's just sometimes hard to believe I will ever be "seen" and "loved" to the supposed extent that he did. And I am literally twenty-nine years old.

They know exactly what they're doing. They just refuse to take responsibility; he lived in an absolutely complete, total delusion.

There is still 1 narcissist in my life at the moment, but fortunately, I only have to be near that narcissist for several hours a day at most.

Part 1 for your reference:

# How do you feel about people like this?

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

# Firstly, thank you so, so, so much to everyone who supported me- whether that was through DMs or via comments or Discord, etc. etc.

I'm writing this from the back of a classroom.

So I don't want to pretend I never liked the narcissist that constantly lied, never could take responsibility not even once, and lived under a total delusion that he was a guilt-free clean perfect person (yuck NOTHING ON EARTH could be farther from the truth).

In my humble opinion, I'm maybe 70% "over" it, but there's the 30%...

I strangely miss the sweet times, the cute times. The kindness times and all the real connection times.

Now, I talk about it, and all my friends agree it was all just manufactured lovebombing.

People from the internet also agree that it was all fake, manufactured lovebombing, so he could get whatever he wanted for his sick twisted toddlerhood-pulverized ego.

I just really, really, really, really thought that this person was "special."

He was just fake.

I will be glad however, since... because of him, other narcissists who enter my life (or try to, anyway) have only minimal effect on me now.

It's just sometimes hard to believe I will ever be "seen" and "loved" to the supposed extent that he did. And I am literally twenty-nine years old.

They know exactly what they're doing. They just refuse to take responsibility; he lived in an absolutely complete, total delusion.

There is still 1 narcissist in my life at the moment, but fortunately, I only have to be near that narcissist for several hours a day at most.

Part 1 for your reference:

# How do you feel about people like this?

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

# Firstly, thank you so, so, so much to everyone who supported me- whether that was through DMs or via comments or Discord, etc. etc.

I'm writing this from the back of a classroom.

So I don't want to pretend I never liked the narcissist that constantly lied, never could take responsibility not even once, and lived under a total delusion that he was a guilt-free clean perfect person (yuck NOTHING ON EARTH could be farther from the truth).

In my humble opinion, I'm maybe 70% "over" it, but there's the 30%...

I strangely miss the sweet times, the cute times. The kindness times and all the real connection times.

Now, I talk about it, and all my friends agree it was all just manufactured lovebombing.

People from the internet also agree that it was all fake, manufactured lovebombing, so he could get whatever he wanted for his sick twisted toddlerhood-pulverized ego.

I just really, really, really, really thought that this person was "special."

He was just fake.

I will be glad however, since... because of him, other narcissists who enter my life (or try to, anyway) have only minimal effect on me now.

It's just sometimes hard to believe I will ever be "seen" and "loved" to the supposed extent that he did. And I am literally twenty-nine years old.

They know exactly what they're doing. They just refuse to take responsibility; he lived in an absolutely complete, total delusion.

There is still 1 narcissist in my life at the moment, but fortunately, I only have to be near that narcissist for several hours a day at most.

Part 1 for your reference:

# How do you feel about people like this?

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

# Firstly, thank you so, so, so much to everyone who supported me- whether that was through DMs or via comments or Discord, etc. etc.

I'm writing this from the back of a classroom.

So I don't want to pretend I never liked the narcissist that constantly lied, never could take responsibility not even once, and lived under a total delusion that he was a guilt-free clean perfect person (yuck NOTHING ON EARTH could be farther from the truth).

In my humble opinion, I'm maybe 70% "over" it, but there's the 30%...

I strangely miss the sweet times, the cute times. The kindness times and all the real connection times.

Now, I talk about it, and all my friends agree it was all just manufactured lovebombing.

People from the internet also agree that it was all fake, manufactured lovebombing, so he could get whatever he wanted for his sick twisted toddlerhood-pulverized ego.

I just really, really, really, really thought that this person was "special."

He was just fake.

I will be glad however, since... because of him, other narcissists who enter my life (or try to, anyway) have only minimal effect on me now.

It's just sometimes hard to believe I will ever be "seen" and "loved" to the supposed extent that he did. And I am literally twenty-nine years old.

They know exactly what they're doing. They just refuse to take responsibility; he lived in an absolutely complete, total delusion.

There is still 1 narcissist in my life at the moment, but fortunately, I only have to be near that narcissist for several hours a day at most.

Part 1 for your reference:

# How do you feel about people like this?

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

# Firstly, thank you so, so, so much to everyone who supported me- whether that was through DMs or via comments or Discord, etc. etc.

I'm writing this from the back of a classroom.

So I don't want to pretend I never liked the narcissist that constantly lied, never could take responsibility not even once, and lived under a total delusion that he was a guilt-free clean perfect person (yuck NOTHING ON EARTH could be farther from the truth).

In my humble opinion, I'm maybe 70% "over" it, but there's the 30%...

I strangely miss the sweet times, the cute times. The kindness times and all the real connection times.

Now, I talk about it, and all my friends agree it was all just manufactured lovebombing.

People from the internet also agree that it was all fake, manufactured lovebombing, so he could get whatever he wanted for his sick twisted toddlerhood-pulverized ego.

I just really, really, really, really thought that this person was "special."

He was just fake.

I will be glad however, since... because of him, other narcissists who enter my life (or try to, anyway) have only minimal effect on me now.

It's just sometimes hard to believe I will ever be "seen" and "loved" to the supposed extent that he did. And I am literally twenty-nine years old.

They know exactly what they're doing. They just refuse to take responsibility; he lived in an absolutely complete, total delusion.

There is still 1 narcissist in my life at the moment, but fortunately, I only have to be near that narcissist for several hours a day at most.

Part 1 for your reference:

# How do you feel about people like this?

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

How do you feel about people like this?

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

How do you feel about people like this?

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.

​

At one point a person broke up with me through a single text. They would so frequently do/repeat/commit unnaceptable behaviors (for example, a) saying they will do XYZ and then doing the total opposite of XYZ, and b) doing physical stuff to me in bed while I'm asleep that I never even said yes to, and c) forcing vulnerable stories about me from my past that I wasn't even ready to talk about yet) but every single time I brought these issues up, the person would spit lines such as "this is too much drama" and/or "be more mature about this" and/or "you not opening up now is impairing our relationship" etc. etc. and unironically if through text would put smile emojis in those responses. Every time I confronted the person about a toxic behavior that they had/repeated, there was always zero accountability. They literally could not even *acknowledge* it. Looking back now, I think that person was so extremely narcissistic, because there was so much lovebombing and even charm; I want to say I'm over it- I *mostly* am, but how do these people even end up that way? I was abused constantly as a child and I didn't become that way. That person told me he was abused. Sure. Okay. Is that an excuse?

Frankly even the "breakup text message" was a direct reaction to a time that I pointed out something that he did- not even disrespectfully, but I think I articulated his behavior so accurately that there was so much dissonance in that person's mind that his ultimate response to "not acknowledge" it was just hit the apocalypse button and end the entire thing. Through a text message with smile emojis.

That person talked about being bullied and the person has tons of acne scars and the person talked about how his dad beat him a lot and I went through stuff as well, yes, but he can point out my flaws and change my behaviors, but cannot take that if reversed?

Additional notes (inspired by a Redditor comment):

I don't know how long I will feel the way I do. There's these little thoughts in my head, like from me to myself, and they're sort of like:

"Oh my god you fcked up. You will never ever *ever* find someone like that here, ever"

"You messed up when someone finally loved the most true most vulnerable you?"

And then there's thoughts of... I want to go back, make sure it didn't end, I lost the thing and the person I was given which showed me true love, etc. etc. Very mixed emotions, super confused, extremely broken and sad... he once even responded to me, when I told him I don't want/need to talk about my past traumas to him in that moment, with something like "Yes but you don't have the resources on your own" and also "You think you're healed?" and also he told me that in the past I just "haven't met the right person."

Like what sick person says all of that to someone? Then he'd tell me he loves me in between and ten times a day, and then... discard me in a single text message (with multiple different kinds of smiling face emojis) because he was confronted with the truth of his actions. I don't know how and don't understand how it exploded all at once. It's like from the outside I can see it, but in my mind and my heart, it's like I lost my only, only one true angel. *Angel.* I don't feel anger, it's betrayal and pain, a lot of hurt and pain. I feel like there is no future. I'm scared. Like I feel like I had my one lifelong person (we did actually have rare similarities) and now it's all gone.

He pulled out the child inside of me to break it.