r/Amitheassholeadvice

She "retired" 11 years ago at 61 with not enough savings. She only has 40k saved up for retirement. She said it was to take care of my grandparents, but they passed in 2018 and 2020 and she hasn't worked at all since 2015. She divorced my dad in the 1990s so she was a single mom to me from the ages of 8 to 17 (although my dad paid like 600 a month in child support in the 1990s). We also lived with my grandparents for 2-3 years after the divorce, so I guess my mom and I lived on our own when I was 10-11 to age 17 when I moved out.

I'm in my late 30s right now. At 17 I moved out, my dad paid for my undergrad, and I took out 170k in student loan debt for law school. I have not lived with either parent since the age of 17 (that was over 20 years ago at this point). I have been financially independent since the age of 21.

Starting around 10 years ago (when I was in my late 20s), I started giving my mom 300-400 every month to help with bills. I also helped to pay for her current car. Plus I give her cash for her birthday and also holidays. Sometimes I give her a few hundred, it just depends. In total, I've probably given her around 50-60k cash the past 10 years (which seems insane considering I graduated law school at age 25 with 170-180k in student loan debt). In addition, when I was 17 I gave her a 20k car that my dad had bought me.

My mom started withdrawing SS early since she retired before 65. That means her payments were cut by 30% and she only gets 1700 a month. Her rent is like 300 a month. I give her 300 a month now to pay her rent. She has 1400 a month of SS left to pay for Medicare, food, car insurance, etc. She says it is not enough due to inflation. So now I told her I'd give her an extra 50 a month: this means I will be giving her 350 a month. (So she'll have the 1400 SS left after rent is paid PLUS the 350 cash I give her = 1750 a month after rent is paid.) Plus I give her money for birthdays and holidays.

On top of this, I pay for other bills sometimes for her. Yesterday she told me she needs to get a tooth extracted and didn't want to pay for it from her 40k savings. I told her ok, I will give you 400 to pay for your tooth extraction. Then she said her neck has been hurting for a couple weeks, so I said I will give you 120 to pay for a massage.

Now, my friend needs part time help at his store I told her she should help my friend out 5 hours a week, and she says she doesn't want to because her neck hurts or she had back problems. I told her about this job 5 months ago and she hasn't done anything because of "health problems." She does help pick my kid up from school 2 days a week, but I reimburse her for the gas money as well in addition to giving her the 300-350 a month.

I'm starting to get mad because I keep giving her money, but I have my own kid/family and own bills to pay for. I paid off my six figure law school debt on my own working 70-80 hours a week. How hard is it to work 5 hours a week, even though she is 72? I've given her maybe 50k in cash the past 10 years (plus gave her a 20k car when I was 17 plus helped her buy her current car) and she hasn't worked. But she is old - AITA for asking her to work 5 hours a week at my friend's store for some extra cash? (I will still give her the $350 a month plus gas money, since I said I would, but anything more she should get from my friend's job. He's willing to pay $20 an hour in cash, so she could make up to $21,000 a year in cash if she did 20 hours a week. If she did 5 hours a week, that $5,200 in cash.)

So I (40m) who am from the US am quite well traveled.

I met “Anne“ (Definitely not even close to her real name) (25f) on a dating app in a far away country literally on the other side of the world.

Anne and I really hit it off. We definitely envisioned being married to each other save one major detail. I am not going to leave my very good job in the US, and she is afraid to leave her country even for vacation.

More about Anne, she had a hard childhood, but succeeded anyway. She is well educated, and while she does not live in what most Americans would consider privilege, she does not live in poverty either. She is extremely proud of being an independent woman and earning her own way.

While I am financially successful, and that has enabled me to meet Anne by traveling, money has nothing to do with our relationship; I look very young for my age, and Anne looks a few years older than her age.

During my time with Anne, she fell pregnant. And while, it would not exactly be correct to say the pregnancy was planned, I would also mention that I have never had an accidental pregnancy with any of my partners.

Anne is due next month, and I have started to send her monthly payments through WhatsApp. This has made her extremely angry, and she has asked me to stop.

She says that because we are not technically together, I should not be paying her, and she can pay her own way, and doesn’t need my “charity”

This seems so ridiculous to me, even a below average earner in the US would be able to send decent chunks of money due to conversion rates, and I am EXTREMELY PRIVILEGED, even for someone in the US.

I have tried to tell her that this not charity, it is my child, so it’s my responsibility, but this has not helped

I’m not sure how I can sit here and not send money to my only child (there is no doubt the child is mine) that could give them a much better life and future, when the amount of money isn’t even noticeable to me!

Would I be the asshole if I continued to send money to my baby momma, despite her wishes I not do so?

​

AITA for liking my friend's boyfriend?

I really need opinions because I don’t know if I’m the one in the wrong.

Last year around November, my friend told me she was talking to someone, but she didn’t want to tell me who it was yet because she didn’t want to “jinx it.” I respected that completely because I wanted her to tell me when she was ready. Fast forward to now. There’s this guy in our circle that she kept encouraging me to go for. Literally all the time. She would say stuff like “you two look good together,” “would you ever kiss him?” or “I think he likes you.” She even told me I should shoot my shot. At first it was cool because we would randomly rate boys around us but eventually I admitted that yes, I did find him attractive and that I kinda liked him. He was one of the sweetest guys I ever met (not even an exaggeration). To shift the conversation sometimes I would ask her about mystery man and she kept complaining, she would say he was clingy, that he wanted to make things official, and that she didn't want that.

As time went on, I realized I actually liked him. But I never planned on acting on it because I value my friendships more than a crush. Plus, I was scared of ruining things. Still, she kept hyping it up and saying he might like me too.

Then another girl casually mentioned My crush and my friend's relationship to me thinking I already knew. I was genuinely hurt after hearing that but I had suspected that so that was on me. I started piecing everything together and realized he was the guy from November. After that, I stepped back a little, but I didn’t want to make things awkward or expose anyone, so I kept acting normal. I even tried hinting to my friend about them possibly being together just to see if she’d finally admit it, but she kept denying it. She would literally say things like, “If he was really my man would I let you do this?” and stuff like that. It genuinely made me question if I was misunderstanding everything. Eventually it all came out that they were in fact involved romantically the entire time. And honestly? I felt heartbroken and embarrassed. Not even because I “lost” him, but because I felt played with. Like why encourage your friend to like your man?? Why repeatedly push us together while hiding the truth? It made me feel stupid. To make things messier, he actually gave signs that made it seem like he liked me too, so I don’t even know what was real and what wasn’t anymore. She also kept insisting their relationship stay private, which I respected, but at some point it started feeling less like privacy and more like manipulation.

I never confessed to him, never flirted after I found out, and I quietly distanced myself from both of them because I didn’t want to become “that girl” who ruins relationships or causes drama. But then my friend confronted me asking why I was acting weird, and instead of telling her the truth, I made up another reason because I honestly didn’t want to admit that the whole situation hurt me. I forgot to mention she would say things like "let me and OP kiss you". Now I feel guilty for pulling away without explaining myself also because I like him, but another part of me feels like I was lowkey set up to fail emotionally.

AITA?

So my sisters boyfriend is a fussy eater, whenever he goes out he orders a margarita pizza, a plain burger or plain grilled chicken with rice (there cannot be any spice). This limits us to pubs or Italian restaurants , every single time.

My niece (her daughter) keeps wanting to try new places like an Indian or chinese but my sister keeps snapping that we are leaving him behind and excluding him. We go to the pub ALL the time and every 6 months I suggest a different restaurant and that he can just sit this one out and it's like I've suggested something terrible. I've also suggested he comes and just orders a drink and orders some chips but that also isn't an option as we are still excluding him (despite me having fussy/allergy friends who do this ALL the time). My mum has lived a sheltered life so I'd like her to experience more and my niece rarely goes out for meals with her mum because my sis only ever wants to go to pub meals which my niece doesn't want. But my sister sees it as she asks her all the time to go out but my niece never wants to go. Yes because its what you guys want, not her!!

My sister says we should go to those places when its not a "family meal" but if I take my niece and then my brother hears we went out he'd also want to be invited and then we'd naturally ask my mum and before you know it, it's a family meal. Plus I prefer to just go out once and just invite everyone rather than separate meals to see people because eating out is $$$

It is so extreme that my wedding meal venue I chose a Greek tapas place and I REALLY wanted greek and my sister forced me to change it and I had to choose a place that served burgers.

It is an argument EVERY single time. I am fed up!

AITA?

Edit - my wedding meal was JUST my close family i.e 12 of us - i just chose a restaurant, it wasn't a full blown planned wedding that I cancelled. Perhaps forced was a strong word, my sister started moaning that he wouldn't eat anything and told me to change the venue because she was stressed so yes I just gave in.

AITAH for siding with my friend’s stepdaughter against my friend?

My friend Molly (21F at the time) started seeing a man who was 45 and very much married. At first she used to complain that he “would never leave his wife” and kept pressuring him to choose her. Eventually he did. The divorce dragged on for a while, but last year they finally got married in this huge over the top wedding that literally became the talk of the town.

To be honest, our friend group never fully supported the relationship, especially me. I told her from the beginning that if a man is willing to cheat on his wife for you, he’s probably capable of doing it to you too.
She hated hearing that and accused me of “judging their love story.”

Maybe I took it more personally because of my own upbringing. My parents had a horrible marriage, my father cheated constantly while my mother slowly broke apart in silence trying to hold the family together. Watching Molly celebrate a relationship that started with betrayal honestly brought up a lot of ugly feelings for me.

The part that made it even harder was his daughter, Sabrina, She was 15 during the engagement and 16 at the wedding. I met her a few times during the wedding preparations and she always seemed uncomfortable around Molly.

During one dress fitting, Molly wanted to take these “cute blended family” photos together for social media, Sabrina clearly didn’t want to participate and kept trying to stay off to the side, but her father kept encouraging her to come over and at least take one picture.
Molly immediately got annoyed and later complained to us that Sabrina was being “harsh” toward her and refusing to even try, when honestly the girl just looked hurt and uncomfortable the entire time.

Another time during an engagement dinner, Sabrina barely spoke the whole night and Molly kept making passive aggressive comments like “I guess some people just don’t want us to be happy.” It felt less like she wanted a relationship with the girl and more like she wanted everyone to see this perfect happy family image.

At the wedding, I went to the powder room to touch up my lipstick and Sabrina was already in there sitting by the mirror on her phone taking selfies and fixing her makeup. I pulled out a brand new Dior lipstick and noticed her looking at it a few times, so I offered it to her. She refused at first, but I insisted she keep it.
She smiled abit and
We ended up talking for a while and she admitted she didn’t even want to come to the wedding but was basically forced into it because her father didn’t want drama. She said everyone expected her to smile and act supportive when she was still angry and embarrassed over everything that happened with her parents.

I told her quietly that things would get better eventually and that none of this was her fault.

Apparently Molly later found out about the conversation and got upset with me. She accused me of “encouraging Sabrina’s attitude” instead of supporting her on her wedding day. I told her honestly that Sabrina is still a teenage girl watching her family fall apart publicly and maybe she deserves a little empathy instead of being painted as the villain for not pretending to be happy.

Now Molly is angry at me and some mutual friends think I should’ve stayed out of it because “it wasn’t my business.”

AITAH?

My cousin runs a “handmade bracelet business” and our whole family supports her. Recently I found out she actually buys the bracelets in bulk online for super cheap and resells them while pretending she makes them herself. I told her privately that lying was messed up because relatives were buying them specifically to support her handmade work, but she said “it’s just marketing.”

At a family wedding, people were complimenting her talent and saying how much effort the bracelets must take. I accidentally laughed, and my younger brother suddenly blurted out “tell them about the website.” Everyone started asking questions, so I admitted the bracelets weren’t handmade.

Now my cousin says I humiliated her publicly, my uncle is furious, and some relatives think I should’ve stayed quiet until after the wedding. But other relatives are mad because they spent a lot thinking they were supporting handmade products. AITA?

Going to try and make this as short of a long story as possible.
My kids dad and I had been on and off for a long time because he was abusive. The last time we were together I ended up pregnant .. twice. Was abused during pregnancy, and postpartum, and ended up pregnant again before finally leaving when he was arrested. I am F22, he is M23, I did the whole pregnancy with my second child by myself. Have done it all by myself since he was born. No child support , no overnights with dad, barely even visits.
Recently, he got married. ( we have been split for 15 months, our daughter is 17 months and our son is 6 months. ) I was keeping communication at a minimum but occasionally ( about once every 1-2 weeks ) he would ask me if he could pick our daughter up from daycare before I got off work and hangout with her. He was lying to me about putting her around another woman, she was always around when he had our daughter and it makes me feel this whole parenting act he’s doing is performative for the woman. ( before they married I was lucky to get a text checking on the kids once every 1-2 weeks., never wanted to come see them.)
I started seeing someone , I told him after a few months of dating this guy that I had recently introduced him and our kids. The abusive talk started back IMMEDIATELY. Within days he was downright begging me to sleep with him, to stop seeing this guy, and when he didn’t get a response or not the response he wanted, it would turn into abuse talk quickly.
Even more recently , I got a restraining order because he told me he “ thinks about killing me “ and “ that it would be easy “ ( in a text message ) restraining order was granted. He has been breaking the restraining order and I recently reported it because over a phone call , when I told him I wouldn’t drop the restraining order like he was asking , he said “ I’m gonna come kill you right now then” and hung up the phone. I was about 90% sure he was just talking out his ass but I’m pretty over being threatened just to scare me. The police have been attempting to arrest him for over a week now. Can’t make contact, people at his job are lying for him, he won’t answer the door at home and he’s driving his wife’s car around. The police are working for a warrant.
I’m pretty positive I can win a custody battle, I have videos of him hitting me when I was breastfeeding , voice recordings of him simply degrading me and saying horrible things. The most insane of insane screenshots of text messages, evidence of harassment, ext. AND I’m pretty positive I’m not being crazy , but am I the asshole for wanting custody?? Sometimes he acts like he genuinely wants to be their dad but I feel like a man who wanted to be a dad would be a dad regardless of how much he dislikes me. We don’t have to be best friends for him to parent but when he sees the kids it feels like he’s doing it to see me?? He doesn’t even hangout with them when he’s supposed to, if I’m in the area he’s harassing me and asking me questions , running off and cussing me when he gets upset. The whole nine. What do I do?? I want to push for full custody but just don’t know if I have that in the bag or not.
Location: Columbia MO

EDIT. The likelihood is that I will continue pushing for custody and delete this post. But I think it needs to be known we are NO contact, he blows my phone up and I ignore it. He’s playing the “ my bm won’t let me see my kids !!” Role, I just don’t want to take it to family court and be told that I don’t have a case because the abuse was to me directly. I want what is best for my children and I don’t want their dad to fuck that up, I also don’t want to fuck that up.

While we were dating, my ex brought me to his private social club. I enjoyed the atmosphere and people a lot. I don’t have many friends in my city and the club is a great place to hang out, meet new people, and network.

I searched to see if there is another comparable club in my area and there is only one that’s farther away and honestly is subpar compared to the one I attended with my ex. Basically I wouldn’t be interested in attending that one if it was the only option.

I’m considering waiting maybe 6 or 7 months then joining the club. I reasoned that he doesn’t own the city and this club is something that I am genuinely interested in.

⚠️Warning: A bit long

Hi everyone this is my first time writing a story and I just wanted to get some opinions on this.

My (19F) sisters (21F and 18F) have wanted me to live with our father (64M) for years, but I don't want to and here's the reason why.

For context, my parents were never married and split up in the early 2000s. When I was born, my father (Elijah) told my mom (Christy) that I wasn't his child and never would be. Ever since then, he has treated me differently from my younger sister Jackie.

Growing up, he would make me give Jackie my clothes even when I barely had any as we grew up poor. Whenever we argued, he would yell in my face and hit or shove me in the arms. In public, he acts like he loves me, but privately he has always treated me like a burden.

Things got worse as I got older.

Last October, Jackie and I got into a fight. She started hitting me, dragging me to the bed, and put me in a headlock. Now, my only instinct was to get out of the headlock. So, I did get free and then I dragged her by the ankles to the edge of the bed before I let go. She then fell off the bed and hurt herself. I was on the other side of the room when she started crying and then immediately screamed for Elijah.

He ran into the bedroom and saw her crying on the floor then glares at me. He stormed right up to me and started shoving me hard in the arm, screaming in my face. I tried explaining to him that she started the argument and he wouldn't listen to me. Then he started hitting my arm saying "how do you like it?" Then I screamed at him to stop hitting me and I locked myself in the bathroom.

While in the bathroom, I called my older sister, Ashley. She was living with her boyfriend in a different city. She told me to call the police if he ever put his hands on me again. I said okay. He was screaming at me to get out of the bathroom to which I told him I'm on the phone with my sister.

Eventually, I left the bathroom and went back into the room. Now, this is a one bedroom duplex and we had to share a room. Elijah slept in the living room. I ignored them both and thankfully they left me alone.

Fast forward to Christmas 2025, we are living in a 2 bedroom house with one bathroom. Elijah got the biggest room since it was closer to the bathroom and we shared a room again. Elijah decided to allow people he knew to live with us since they had a disabled daughter and were basically homeless. Ashley had moved in with us by this point. So, now everything is fine and whatnot.

January 9th, 2026, Ashley and I planned to go visit our family friend Gary (45M). He was staying with Seth (27M), who Ashley started dating after talking a while on messenger with him. We were only supposed to stay with them for a few days but we ended up staying there for a few more weeks since the breaker was broken and it was freezing in the house. Seth lives in a 2 bedroom apartment with 2 ½ bathrooms. For a while, Ashley and I slept in Seth's bed while he slept in the living room and Gary slept in his room. April 4th, 2026 Ashley moved out due to Seth manipulating her to stay with him even though he was talking to his ex. Jackie moved in the same day and then Seth and Jackie started dating. Jackie actually ended up leaving April 18th, 2026 to go back to living with our father after a huge fight with Seth and the fact he confessed to loving his ex that he abused. I stayed living with them as no one has done anything to me and I had a job that started April 2nd, 2026.

The living situation became absolutely terrifying.

On May 8th, 2026 Seth started confessing to disturbing things to me like how he planned my death and wanted to kill both of my sisters and our father. He then started talking about how it would be funny to set the disabled girl on fire which Gary then started laughing about. He mentioned how he wanted to burn down his school and shoot up his classes and who he wanted to shoot and that if he wanted to, he could leave really fast and that he would commit suicide to escape from being sent to prison. I had secretly started recording all of this. After his confession, I sent it to my mom and Ashley.

Now, my mom has always been supportive of me throughout my whole life. She bought me my very first work clothes when I was living with my father and he refused to. She bought us food to eat when Elijah didn't.

When I told her everything that Seth had done she got worried quickly. She told me that she will come and get me on May 11th, 2026 but changed it to May 10th, 2026. At first, she was going to take me to Elijah's but I asked her if I could live with her and her boyfriend instead to which she agreed on if I did chores everyday and was actively searching for a job and that I would have to help financially.

When I told my sisters that our mom was letting me live with her and that I wouldn't be moving in with them and our father, they got upset. They insisted that they wanted me there even though Elijah has made it very clear he doesn't want me there multiple times. They wanted me to give him another chance but I reminded them I gave him plenty of chances to change and be an actual father to me which he never did change. They called me an AH for not giving him another chance even though I gave him multiple chances.

So, AITAH for choosing my loving mom over my abusive father?

I’m a kitchen designer, our company has a strong connection with a stone manufacturer. I talk to the drawing office team all the time, I’m also very positive, friendly and don’t take things too seriously. I always get a laugh out of them. Today I had to talk to a guy called Chris from another department.

We were making decisions about a job installation but it ended up that it really lay with my director and his manager to make the final call. I joked that we were just the middlemen and i will need to speak to my “Daddy” to get the final call, Chris then said, il have to get my “mummy” then etc etc. out of context it sounds weird I get it.

Half an hour later his manager phoned to say that id been rude and that her staff don’t appreciate being talked to like that.

The guy was joking and laughing with me then had done that.

Why are people such dickheads, life isn’t this serious. It really annoyed me. I understand there is a time to joke about and a time to be serious but I was only making light of the situation?!

Throwaway account. I (26 f) have been friends with Amanda (fake name) since we were in 3rd grade together. We were always fairly close, attending the same after school program and being in the same class and we continued to stay close even after she changed schools. We stopped talking a lot around the time she was in college and I had moved out of my parents house and started working. Life got busy and we went on separate paths.
Recently we started talking again through Snapchat. She has since graduated college and is doing well from what she’s told me and I always tell her I’m proud of her. I asked her if she’d like to come over sometime and make cookies with me and she said of course. We planned a Sunday when my boyfriend and his son would be with his parents so we could be as loud and chatty as we wanted without disturbing anyone. We planned for 2:30 pm since my boyfriend would be leaving at 11am and Amanda had planned to take a trip out of town the day before. I mentioned to her that I was really excited to see her again and she said she was too.
I texted on Saturday asking if we were still good for tomorrow and she said yes and asked what time because she cancelled her out of town trip. I reiterated that my boyfriend was leaving at 11am so she could come by anytime after that. She responded saying “that sounds cool! I was hoping to see a boyfriend tomorrow afternoon, as I've been tripping most of this weekend; I wouldn't ask to invite him to cookies, but I may be occupied for some of the afternoon leading up to.” I responded and told her I was totally cool if she wanted to bring her boyfriend with her as I’d love to meet him and we could make it a group hangout. She said she’d check with him to see if he was ok with it, but then never responded. I spent the whole day Saturday cleaning and making sure the house was ready for company and my boyfriend and his son even helped by making sure all the blankets on the couch were folded and the vacuum was ran.
I woke up on Sunday and saw my boyfriend off and then waited for Amanda to text me. I hadn’t heard anything so I texted her at 1:30pm to ask if she knew what time she might be coming. I let her know my boyfriend’s son had school in the morning so I couldn’t be up super late. She said “I understand, not super late, but I'm still waiting on my boyfriend. This mid-afternoon.” I responded “Oki I’m sorry I’m not trying to bug you.” She didn’t text me again until 5:00pm to let me know she was grabbing dinner and asked for my address.
By that time my boyfriend was home and I was about to make dinner for us so I let her know she was welcome to join us for dinner and sent her the address. She heart reacted my message but didn’t respond. She then texted me around 5:30pm saying she was feeling sick since eating and we’d have to reschedule. I said ok and she never opened my message. I talked to my boyfriend about how I was hurt that all day it felt like she was inevitably going to cancel on me. I messaged her later in the evening and said this:
“Hey so I need to be honest with you. I don’t think I want to reschedule our hangout. I know you didn’t know this but I was really looking forward to hanging out with you and I honestly really needed it because I haven’t been feeling myself lately. That’s not on you because I didn’t communicate that, but I did tell you I was excited to see you again and I feel like you knew the whole day that you were going to cancel. It seemed like you kinda ghosted me today because I usually receive multiple snaps and messages from you and today I only got something when I reached out asking what time you were coming, which felt like I was begging for your attention. I would much rather things be clear and upfront and not to sit around waiting all day when I could have been with my family. I don’t want to feel like this again so for now I’ll hold back on scheduling something with you and I’m sorry if that upsets you.” She responded the next morning and with this:
“I have no words? I got sick & tried to communicate that; please don't take it as any more than it is.
I threw up in the parking lot, I felt that unnecessary to include initially but\~
I had been tripping this weekend, leading up to Sunday, but was fine during, just less textable. it wasn't about you”
I feel bad for accusing her of flaking on me, but I had to let her know how I felt. She hasn’t texted me since and I feel like our friendship has fallen apart. Was I the AH for telling her how I felt?

I have a friend (female) which has a crush. As a male (and also friends with the crush) she is using me as a therapist (and a 24/7 crisis hotline) for me to constantly reassure her that her crush doesn't 'hate' her just because he isn't talking to her and also for tiny things her 'crush' does (like not sitting on the same table as her, etc).

Throwback to today. I was in the school library doing work when she (and another friend) was on the same table as me. The other friend was quite mad while she was having a panic attack because her crush wasn't talking to her. I was already *trying* to be productive however both of them made it harder to concentrate.

As a result, I went out of the library briefly before coming back in. They didn't bat a eye and didn't ask. I continued on with my work while she was having a panic attack (because her crush only said a 'hi' when she was talking to him) and asking me if her crush hates her.

After a while, it became harder to focus and I went out again to see some of my other friends (for around 5 minutes). When I came back inside, she was in a very snappy mood when I was trying to talk to her. The other friend and her were ultimately being disruptive for me. I clearly told her I was packing up and left the library.

In the next class, I noticed her 'ghosting' me and also looking at me with scorn. It seems like she told a mutual friend of ours and 'villainized' me to look like I didn't care about her. At the end of the class, when I tried to apologise to her, she ignored it and continued 'ghosting' me.

In class after that, she started telling people in the other class that I 'left' her when she was having a panic attack. She was also indirectly trying to guilt trip me (like saying that I abandoned her right behind me). AITA? I feel emotionally burnt out because of this and I feel guilty because of this drama.

I have a severe back disability that causes intense pain and muscle breakdown when I bend or sit, making everyday chores impossible. I live in a slum on the same land as my heavily medicated, bipolar mother, who doesn't clean. I asked my family to contact a neighbor for very light work: just picking up garbage from the floor and emptying toilet bins four days a month. I earn about 1000 on disability and offered 50 per day for this basic task, providing all cleaning products myself.

Two neighbors, Bea and Kika, initially came. Bea was reasonable but soon quit due to her own schedule. Kika was a nightmare. On her first day, she showed up drunk, took a shower instead of cleaning, and walked out naked in front of me and my mother, seemingly trying to get at my disability income. When rejected, she asked if I was gay. Bea intervened, shocked. I almost fired Kika on the spot but gave her another chance out of gratitude, as she had helped clean my mother years ago.

This began months of a highly frustrating loop. I would clearly state my terms: 50 a day, specific days, basic garbage removal. Kika would agree to everything, walk away, and then completely ignore the deal. She showed up on random days at random times. She did the bare minimum, explicitly refusing to clean the greasy stove or the sink (which got worms from spoiled food), claiming cleaning ladies don't do that. Instead of working, she would take packs of cigarettes from my mother—which my grandfather buys daily and cost 11 to 12 each—and simply leave. I tolerated this cycle for a long time only because my family wouldn't help and I was desperate.

The breaking point happened when Kika refused to take out the garbage and brought a crackhead into my house without permission to do it for three packs of cigarettes. The woman didn't do the work. Kika casually admitted the woman was a known thief who had robbed her before. I strictly forbade her from bringing strangers over. The very next day, Kika brought the thief inside again, abandoned her there, and the woman demanded payment from me. I told her I had nothing, she left, and I immediately fired Kika for endangering my family.

Months later, Kika showed up drunk while I was sleeping. My mom let her in. I told her she must be sober to even discuss work. Days later, she offered to clean for cigarettes she had previously taken and actually did a decent job clearing bathroom bins and cat feces from my mom's house. However, the cycle immediately restarted. Yesterday, May 20, she showed up randomly, ignoring our set hours. I asked her to clean the stove and sink for cigarettes. She agreed, went to the kitchen, did absolutely nothing, took the cigarette packs from my mom, and walked away as if she had worked. She knows exactly what she is doing, exploiting a household of two disabled people for expensive cigarettes. I messaged her and told her never to come back. Am I in the wrong?

So for Context before y'all get mad I 16f and my ex friend is also sixteen I think (I'm not gonna use her real name so let's just go with Pam). So Pam has this habit of not going to school like she's going to school once a week if we're lucky twice and about few weeks ago when she wasn't in school at all she asked me for my entire notes boo for technology let me remind you it's a massive A4 notebook plus half of a small one .

She messaged me one day saying she needed everything again that she has lost her notebook and asked me to send over the notes (she texted me when I was in class) so I texted back that I would that she just needed to remind me at like three pm

So she did remind me and it took me like an hour screenshoting everything and taking pics of the notes but then i realized I didn't have to do it because like few days earlier when I asked why she hasn't been going to school she said she had free will and that she was just too lazy so that day when I was sending her the pics but before that I literally asked her I quote "Why should I send you the notes when you're not even going to school" then she started to beg me for the notes and promised me that she would go to school so I caved in and sent her the notes and guess what it's still the same nothing has changed last week I got angry becouse she wasn't in school again and asked me for notes from one specific class I told her no and blocked her.. so am I the asshole?

AITA for thinking my girlfriend is being delusional for constantly accusing me of looking at other girls?

So I (m, 20s) am losing my mind over this pattern with my girlfriend. She keeps accusing me of “looking at other girls,” “being distracted by other women,” or “checking someone out” when I’m literally not doing anything. I’m not flirting, I’m not staring, I’m not even thinking about anyone else. Half the time I don’t even notice the person she’s talking about.

It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m walking on eggshells in public. If a woman exists within a 20‑foot radius, I’m apparently guilty of something.

At first I tried to reassure her. I told her I’m committed, I’m not interested in anyone else, and I don’t want anyone else. But it keeps happening. Every time she thinks I glanced somewhere, she assumes the worst.

And here’s where I might be the asshole:
I’ve started getting angry when she accuses me. Not yelling out of nowhere, but snapping because it’s the same accusation over and over and it’s not true. I feel attacked for something I’m not doing. I feel like my character is being questioned constantly. And honestly, I’m starting to think the accusations are delusional because they’re so far from reality.

She says the fact that I get angry “proves” I’m guilty. But I’m angry because I’m exhausted and frustrated, not because I’m hiding anything.

I don’t want to be mean. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. But I’m tired of being treated like a cheater when I’m not even remotely acting like one.

AITA for thinking she’s being delusional and for getting angry when she accuses me of something I’m not doing?

I (23,m) who is openly gay. was speaking to this guy also (23,m) who was still in the closet. we met on facebook as we had mutual friends. it first started of as just sending memes at a way of communicating. this then lead to conversations for hours and though the night on snapchat. he had eventually came out as gay to me but he wasn’t ready to tell anyone yet. over 3 years we spoke. i had patience. we would arrange to meet for dates only for him to cancel at the last minute and sometimes ghost me. but it kept trying. it wasn’t till the 3 year mark i had been randomly ignored for 3 weeks and i message him. to then get a reply saying “sorry im in a relationship and have been for three months ” i saw red. i saw every shade of red. 3 years wasted on a POS. so i though what the best way to fuck him over like he did with me. and this was 3 years of it. so i went a drive with my friend. i cried then payed some beyoncé and found my inner beyoncé knowles famous words “jealous or crazy” so i went onto his family info on facebook and messaged who i though was his mum saying we had been talking for 3 years. he was gay. and he was currently not at a work trip but infact at a hotel with his boyfriend. then blocked her . he got kicked out and disowned by his family and never to be heard of again . so am i the a**hole?

So I had a thing for this guy for almost a year but he was in a relationship so I left him alone because he was too friendly. Around 9 months of knowing him, he breaks up with her. It's now been a year since we met and we became friends again. Fast forward, we got intimate and turns out he just viewed me as a temptation he failed, and described me as an academic challenge a month after the situation when I finally brought it up (we went everyday speaking without that). He was also getting closer to a girl before/during that and then after we spoke. Considering this was my first time getting intimate, it pretty much destroyed me and then later on the good friendship we had. My best friend had to comfort me and even 3-4 months (so now) later, I was still hurting. Backstory done.

I find out that the same best friend of 3 years was on facetime with him. She was telling people that she didn't like him, she doesn't know why I was still being civil for our group dynamic and then I find out through a friend (who was also on call) randomly mentioning it in passing and then later on, the other girl (who is also meant to be my friend) posted a SS of the call where everyone was laughing.

It took a lot for me to open up to my friend and now to see her going behind my back, with clearly no intention of letting me know, getting closer and closer to the same guy who made me cry my eyes out is weird to me. AITA if I no longer want to be friends because I feel like that trust is gone and I'm an afterthought.

So I’m thinking about ending a friendship with one of my friends because she made a comment that really upset me. She said that she didn’t wanna go to a pride festival with me because she thinks god wouldn’t like it. I told her so your basically saying god doesn’t like me and that I’m gonna go to hell (I’ve never really believed in god). She then proceeded to back track and say that it’s not what she is trying to say. I just don’t know if I should end the friendship but this isn’t the first time she has made comments like this and it really rubs me the wrong way

We were discussing a movie about family relationships. She said the saddest part was a scene where siblings supported each other, while I said I found the scene where a guy loses his dad more emotional because the movie actually built up their relationship with flashbacks and supportive moments.

I told her we just had different perspectives, but she started saying I was “too young to understand movies properly” and that I should “focus on studying instead of trying to prove her wrong because she’s smarter.” I kept saying it was just my opinion, not that she was wrong, but she kept belittling me over it.

Now I’m irritated because it turned into insults instead of a normal discussion. AITA?

Hey Potatoes im using a throw away account since i got a few friends that know my original account. im not to worried about them seeing this as most of them really dont keep up with reddit but just to be safe i made a fake one. so ill be using fake names of course and really need your opinions. theres my friend who i call my sister lets call her Angela (32) and her boyfriend Ryan (29), and of course myself (27). so lets get into it. So Angela and i have been friends for almost a decade and shes always been a spit fire. she got married a while back and only the past few years has she been divorced. she ended up dating Ryan in the middle of her divorce. as far as im aware he had nothing to do with it but just ended up growing closer to her when she was going through all the hell. So like Ryan joined our friend group like 4 years ago. And i was in a not so great relationship at the time. Well, he ended up befriending myself and Angela. we found out he was pretty cool and he seemed really relaxed with us. he never seemed to show any signs of interest in any of us as well. so, after a year of chilling with us and hanging out I kind of grew fond of him. in my eyes he was everything I liked in a guy. he was tall, with great strawberry hair and blue eyes, he's incredibly fit and just is a straight up great guy. well Angela ended up leaving her husband and like of course we all rallied behind her because she needed us. Angela also had a daughter to, so I wanted to be there for her as well. so, like we are supporting her and what not and Ryan ended up really bending over backwards to help her and be there for the little girl. which made admire him more. he had such a fatherly instinct, and I love that in a partner. so, a few months later of all the drama I felt Ryan and I got closer. we were constantly helping Angela and Ryan, and I would talk and text for hours about the situation and even got lunch a few times together since it was usually on the way to help Angela. I was already distancing myself from my partner who was really cruddy to me. my partner belittled me, didnt want time with me unless we were having sex, and if i wouldnt he accused me of cheating all the time. i just felt like garbage all the time. But when i was around Ryan he always told me how kind i am, how much of a hard worker i am, and just always lifted me up. I felt we had a strong connection and i was certain he felt it too. so imagine my shock when i find out Ryan and Angela are together!!! Apparently what i got was those two had hooked up and she got pregnant. well Ryan chose to stay and i was certain it was because of the baby. so like after a while the kid is born and Ryan looked happy to have a son. which what man doesnt get excited over a boy? so those two actually got together and tbh i feel cheated. Cause Ryan and i built a great friendship. we have so much in common. we both love the same anime shows, we both love spicy food, we both can talk about building unique structures, we are absolute fitness freaks, we even love to make bad dad jokes. so yea we just mesh well. like i feel more like me with him than i ever have with another person. But like all he does is talk and think about his "Family" with Angela. I love her don't get me wrong but i don't see how they work at all. She doesn't get any of the anime jokes cause well she doesn't really get to watch the stuff. She hates spicy foods. she doesn't even know basic construction. she doesn't care about working out either. let alone like dad jokes. all in all they couldn't be more different. but every time im around them it bothers me. He will get her drinks, food, rub her shoulders, handle the kids, he cooks, cleans, and even takes time to hold her when she has one of her "depression stints". don't get me wrong, she's warm and caring and can be sweet. she's a good mom and fairly good cook and is an absolute neat freak. so its not like she's not appealing in her own way. But like she's kind of let herself go after her son. she's put on quite a bit of weight and acts way more like a couch potato than she use to be. Not to mention shes clearly gotten way to comfortable with not even trying to dress up more. shes constantly in those stretchy pants and baggy shirts now, its like shes given up. meanwhile Ryan is always trying to look nice and stay fit. TBH i can see him leaving her cause hes a fitness freak and shes not. i get he doesnt ever complain about her weight and only ever says nice things but thats just because hes such a great guy. i know it sounds bad but like if you see what i see youd understand they are not a good match whatsoever. I mean he says hes happy but i know its because of the kids. if it wasnt for them he would definitely leave. i mean if he was really that loyal to her, then why do we text almost every day? granted its not sexual or anything but like we have our inside jokes and he always is kind to me and like is just helpful all around. I want to tell him my feelings and explain to him he doesn't need to settle for mediocrity. I honestly think we are a far better match for one another than those two are. so, like what are your guy's opinions? if your just going to leave negative responses please just move on. i want actual helpful responses.