Deep Work & Systems

Three years ago I started with Zettelkasten and tags, thinking of tags as a hierarchy. That mindset carried forward when Bases came out, tags became frontmatter properties, and it completely changed how I built my folder structure and dashboards.

Since then the system has evolved a ton: values tracking, project management, wireframes, iterations, too many CSS snippets.

In a recent interview, the conversation turned to how I learn. I started talking about my note taking system, how long it's taken to build, the thinking behind the wireframes, and ended up pulling it up and showing them the actual dashboard.

That system was built for me, not for anyone else. Turns out it also showed exactly how I think, iterate, and stay accountable to myself. Got the job.

If you've ever wondered whether all the time you sink into your vault "counts" for anything outside it, it can. Thanks Kepano and the Obsidian team! Can appreciation flair be added? If this is not allowed, please remove.

Hey everybody! I am looking for some advice that might help me get myself out of this rut that I’m in. For context, I’m a 34 year old married father of a toddler. I have anxiety and depression that I’ve dealt with since adolescence and is fairly well under control, as well as a more recent ADHD diagnosis. I have struggled my whole life with self-discipline, organization and executive functioning. I coasted in my school years since I was interested in most subjects and got good grades, but I have had a much harder time in adulthood now that priorities have shifted and I am now responsible for earning a living, raising a child, owning a home etc. My wife and I both struggle with things like keeping our house and cars clean/free from clutter, paying bills on time and managing finances.

We both have steady employment and a healthy and happy daughter. But day to day feels like I’m barely keeping my head above water— overwhelmed by all the things I’ve procrastinated. Then I end up wasting time distracted on my phone, feeling too tired to do chores and eating lots of sweets late at night to soothe the cycle of stress and shame.

Intellectually I know what I need to do to help myself, and I know that it’s not an all-or-nothing thing. But the older I get the more cynical and discouraged I become. In my 20s I had periods of good habits like running and eating right. I even successfully trained for and ran two half marathons. But now that I’m in my 30s and have less energy and free time, each attempt ends in a false start, and I’m back to eating fast food milkshakes every night in a messy house.

My life is so different now that I am a parent, I think I need a new framework for making changes to my life and health. Applying what worked in my 20s has proven unsuccessful. Any fellow 30-somethings have any tips for making lasting changes and combating the cynicism and jaded feelings after years of backsliding?

Have you built anything yet

Hey, on the last few months, I've trying to fix my productivity problems (procrastination, avoiding doing things I would find really hard, overall lazyness), and I have done some progress! Last month I delivered some important tasks for a college project, without the quality being the usual trashy, last minute garbage I usually deliver. This month, I started a two-people-paper, and my partner is *extremelly* competent and one of the best students in my class.

The pressure to not let them down (they invited me to do the work! both of our usual pairings were taken), and do a job on pair with theirs made me power through angst and procrastination, despite the paper being a really hard one to write. It's not like it wasnt challenging, but I actually locked in for once, and I am pretty proud of the first part of the paper.

My problem is, now that I proved to myself that the paper "is not that hard" and that I could, in fact, do a good work just like my colleague, I just... stopped. I once again started to get lazy, or frozen in front of my phone watching YT shorts, or just sitting in front of the computer opening and closing google tabs, watching the hours pass by. I think I might only find will to do this kinds of hard tasks if I feel like Im up against a huge monster, if im the underdog trying to prove myself, in a epic battle fighting for my life or something, but when Im confortable with the situation, my work comes out... extremely wonky, if it even comes out.

One time, with a solo project (no one counting on me) and with an easy topic, I procrastinated so much that I wrote the first line of text with 45 minutes until I had to send the document to my professor. That project from last month, I also was under enormous pressure, because it was a hard and *extremely* important project I was sharing with our whole class. From this and other cases, I think its clearly a pattern

Do you have any tips I can use to lock in even if the sky isnt falling down on my head? It would really help! I don't think it would be healthy to lead a worklife based uppon stress and high stakes scenarios lol

For context I am 22(F). I’ve dropped out of college because of personal issues and lack of funds. I don’t have a job currently because I recently moved states but I have been searching non stop. Long story short, I’m kind of a bum right now and have nothing going for myself.

Because of this, I’ve been extremely depressed and I spend my days struggling to get out of bed and also struggling to sleep early. When I do wake up (which is mid afternoon) I spend most of my day scrolling aimlessly on my phone or playing video games. I have absolutely no motivation for anything and I just genuinely cannot feel anything. I’m constantly binge eating because I’m bored at home and alone most of the time. I have no friends and I have no energy to get out of the house. I see everyone having fun around me and there’s so much to do if I can just get myself out of the house. I genuinely cannot get out of this rut.

I have NEVER been the type of person to be this lazy and unmotivated. I cry every day because I really don’t know what I became and I don’t know how to fix it. I know this is so embarrassing and I might get criticized but anyone please help me? I want to get out of this hole but idk how.

I have struggled my whole life with motivation for anything; cleaning, exercising, homework, whatever it is, I just can’t get myself motivated. Now, as an adult, it’s even worse.

How do people become motivated to make changes? I want to be one of those people that wakes up one day and decides to make a change.

I’ve made decisions to change multiple times, but I never follow through. I think I struggle with the belief that I will just fail. I can’t fail if I don’t start, which isn’t true because it’s a failure to not start.

I’ve been in therapy trying to deal with my trauma and self worth, and I so badly want to work on my mental and physical health. I just don’t know where to start. I’ve read self help books, I’ve done the apps, I journal, and sure, it sounds great but it’s like I’m missing something in my brain to get motivated (not sure that makes sense).

I just don’t know what to do.

I’ve looked into what a productive weekend is and try to apply it to my life as much as possible, but no matter what I still feel as though I didn’t do anything.

For example this weekend I:

Saturday: played basketball with a friend, read, worked out, went out for drinks at night.

Sunday: I plan on working out, reading, and maybe cleaning a bit.

I have tired almost all productivity tools from Todoist to Notion, Obsidian to Asana. From simple task manager/habit trackers to complex project management tools. But nothing worked for me. Either I find it too simple and lacking what I want or too complex and I end up spending more time building the system than improving productivity.

Every time I try a new tool I think this it will be different, but again in a few days or maximum in a few weeks I will reach back to my notebook.

I'm I alone? has anyone else been through this?

Which 3 productivity books would you recommend from this list, and why?

• Atomic Habits
• Deep Work
• Rework
• The 5 AM Club
• The ONE Thing
• Make Time
• Win the Day
• Getting Things Done
• The 80/20 Principle
• Ultralearning
• Getting Sh*t Done

You can only pick 3.

For most of my twenties I lived with a specific kind of anxiety that I couldn't shake, and maybe some of you know it too. It wasn't panic attacks or a racing heart. It was quieter and heavier than that. It was the constant, grinding fear that I was going to end up trapped in a life that wasn't mine.

I was never good at doing things that felt meaningless to me. I got kicked out of school, barely scraped through college, and then found myself standing in front of a future that terrified me. The only doors open to me were working as a cook, which was my technical qualification, or going to the factory where my father worked because he could get me in. So I tried. And I lasted a month, maybe two, before something in me couldn't do it anymore and I quit. Then I'd run out of money and crawl back. Then quit again. Then try something else that also wasn't mine.

And the whole time, this anxiety sat on my chest. I looked at everyone around me working nine to five, saving for a pension and one holiday a year, and I felt this cold dread, because I didn't want that life, but I couldn't see any other one. I looked at friends who had work they loved and money and freedom, and I wanted that so badly it hurt, and I had no idea how to get there. The gap between where I was and where they were felt impossible to cross.

For five years I basically searched. Searched for what to do, for who I was, for some path that felt like mine. Some stretches I did nothing at all, just sat in the anxiety of it. And underneath everything was this quiet terror: what if I never figure it out? What if I'm just not capable of the kind of life I want?

The thing that finally cracked it open was, oddly, hitting rock bottom. There was a hard period where things fell apart around me, a lot of people lost work, lost homes, everything felt unstable. And in the middle of that I asked myself a question that terrified me: if I had to leave, if it were just me on my own, what can I actually do? And the honest answer was nothing. I felt like I knew nothing, could do nothing, was nothing.

But that moment of total hopelessness was also where something shifted. Because from that bottom, I started to actually dig. Not into job listings. Into myself. Why do I want this? Why does that repel me? What is this anxiety actually pointing at? I started studying psychology, studying my own comfort zone, and I did this thing where I'd write out what I was feeling as if I were talking to a therapist, then question my own answers, then answer again, going around and around until I hit something real.

And slowly, through that digging, I found it. I realized I'm drawn to freedom and not being dependent on anyone. That I wanted remote work, to get paid in a currency that didn't tie me to one country, to not be trapped in one place. I realized I love digging into things, figuring them out, learning, teaching. That I love technology and the idea of building things with it. So I started learning to program. And I became a programmer. The exact thing my anxiety had insisted was impossible, that I'd never build a life of my own, turned out to be findable, once I stopped running and started digging.

Here's what I learned from all of it: the anxiety was never random, and it was never just a malfunction to be silenced. It was pointing at something true. It was the signal that the life I was drifting toward wasn't mine, and that I hadn't yet found what was. The anxiety wasn't the enemy. It was the messenger. I just had to stop being terrified of it long enough to hear what it was actually saying.

And that changed how I see anxiety completely. Under most anxious reactions there's a root, something real the feeling is trying to tell you. Get to that root, and the anxiety often loosens its grip, because it's finally been heard.

That whole process of digging, of getting under a reaction to the root driving it, became something I couldn't stop doing. And eventually, being a programmer now, I built a tool around it, something to help people go to the root of their reactions instead of getting stuck fighting the surface of them. I called it Nolum. It's in my profile if you're curious, no pressure at all.

But honestly, product aside, the reason I'm posting this here is simpler. If your anxiety is telling you you're going to be stuck, that you'll never get the life you want, that you're not capable, I've been exactly there, for years. And it can change. Not by silencing the anxiety, but by getting quiet enough to hear what it's actually pointing at. It's usually pointing at something that matters.

So i have started setting up a vault and syncing it across all my devices, but i am just stuck.

What do you guys take notes of? Should i delete all my plugins and start on a basic vanilla vault?

*sorry for any writing errors, im not a native english speaker and my autocorrect likes to find different words.

not looking for motivation, looking for consistency

over the past year i have realized that I don't have a discipline problem. i have a consistency problem. i start strong, disappear for a few days, then start over from zero. i am done repeating that cycle.

current goals:

• fix my sleep schedule
• gym/workout 4-5/week
• study every day
• reduce doomscrolling
• eat right and healthy

i am not expecting perfection from anyone. i just want someone who actually replies, checks in, and doesn't vanish after two days.

the plan:

• daily 5-minute check-in
• share each day's goals
• share what we actually completed
• focus sessions together
• call each other out when we are making excuses
• celebrate wins

about me:

• 26M, India (IST)
• into fitness, productivity, nutrition, learning
• prefer people around 20-35, but mindset matters more than age.
• time zone doesn't matter if we can communicate consistently.

if you are serious about making this one stick, send me a DM

I'm a 20-year-old guy, and I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle that I can't escape.

I'm an extreme introvert and I've been struggling with a p*** ad**cted for a long time. Even the smallest problems or tasks make me feel overwhelmed and anxious. Sometimes I wonder if I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), although I've never been diagnosed.

The biggest issue is that I don't have any useful skills or a source of income. Seeing people my age making progress while I'm standing still makes me feel insecure about my future.

Because of all this, I've become depressed, lazy, and completely unmotivated. I know I should be learning new skills, exercising, or improving my life, but I just can't seem to get started. Even when I do, I quit quickly.

Has anyone here been in a similar situation and managed to turn their life around? What were the first practical steps you took? I'm not looking for a magic solution—I just want to know where to begin and how to finally break out of this lifestyle.

Any advice or personal experiences would mean a lot. Thank you.

As an individual, I am looking for a free system that allows me to create a few cards with predefined sections, using the Kanban method, and which offers two-way synchronisation with a calendar (iCloud, Google, etc.). Thank you for your help

19 years old finished my exams 3 weeks ago waiting for my results in 2 days

I am currently unemployed studying to get my drivers license

But mostly working on my dream of becoming a great comic book /cartoon artist.

-I am more productive than ever before

-It's been a couple weeks since I hung out with my friends

-Currently intermittent fasting while lifting weights

Went from 255 lbs to 250 30% bf at 5.11 ft in 4 days

-I walk outside everyday

-jump rope everyday

-Practicing typing creative writing every week

-Reading classical literature

Not playing videogames

(But still watching adult videos)

I feel extremely exhausted and depressed but somehow I can work and stay focused for 5+ hour straight everyday

YouTube keeps recommending blackpill videos even though I always click uninterested I feel like my soul is under attack

I have no girlfriend planning on staying single but not getting any play either

(To be fair I am not approaching anyone)

What regularly annoys you about Obsidian, or what do you really miss in its standard features?

For example, I miss being able to crop images directly in Obsidian without a plugin.

I get angry at my parents for small pity things. And I immediately realize that I'm doing this. Than I try to control myself. I don't shout at them but get irritated.

But I don't want to feel that way. Why do I get irritated for no reason. Especially my parents are pretty good and understanding. Very atypical and unlike many other families in my country.

They always supported me in whatever I want. I feel really bad for doing this. Can someone please help me and guide me how can I change my behavior.

I feel high on emotions when this happens. And it happens for very silly reasons. Like they not understanding what I am saying. Or doing something not 'my way'.
I feel really pathetic and feel like I'm emotionally abusing my parents. My parents don't deserve it. And I know we sometimes can behave like that with our closed ones. Because we have that liberty in such relationships. But its really bad. Please help me improve as a human.