Is there Anyone who was Asexual in their 20's but became Ace in their 30? What or how did you become like this?
UPDATE: I am well aware that Asexual and Ace mean the same thing
What helped you the most while figuring things out?
source: https://www.instagram.com/p/DaNMbcDiSvW/?igsh=MWo3ZTNoank5ZDQyZA==
"I'm sharing this to push for real, structural change so future transgender students don't have to fight the same battles I did.
As a first step, I think we need a pragmatic approach: schools should listen to healthcare professionals and make reasonable concessions - like allowing us to grow our hair, use gender-appropriate uniforms, and access inclusive facilities. It's an easy, respectful compromise that balances school policy with our dignity and need to be ourselves." - Elsie
The title. I've seen so many people asking stuff like "how can I become asexual" or "how did you turn asexual" and like... you... you can't turn asexual... you just are born that way... it's like asking if you can turn gay
I particularly love the "how can I become asexual" comments cuz they always wanna turn asexual/aromantic for the either the pettiest or absurd reasons in the world, like focusing on their carrier or having a "cutesy" relationship or some shit like that, like... Dawg... You literally can just do these things if you want to regardless of your sexuality... Like do they think we have special virgin superpowers or what
Kazuma Kiryu being asexual is my head canon
(sorry if this post is bad, its my first one)
My boyfriend (16 m) and I (16 f) have been dating since we were roughly 13, but i have just come to terms with my asexuality (Im a sex repulsed asexual). I've known I was asexual since before we were even dating but it took me a while to accept it. this was because we are both in a christian community so it took me a while to de-brainwash myself and realize its okay to be LGBTQIA+. (for the sake of the post he is very christian and I am currently questioning religion but he is supportive)
The problem is that my boyfriend has no idea about my asexuality. It's making me anxious because I feel like I have to come out to him and because I think my asexuality will ruin our relationship. We are both very open about wanting a future together but part of me feels like we will never be happy together. I'm concerned that our relationship wont work because I'm a sex repulsed asexual.
I need advice on what to do. Because of his christianity, I don't know if he will understand or be supportive if i come out. unfortunately i also feel really guilty for not being honest about this with him. I really don't want to break up with him but I have trouble imagining this dynamic working out long term.
Any advice at all is appreciated.
Hello, everyone.
Half a year ago, my best buddy and I had an idea during one of our late-night Discord chats. We are both big nerds for fantasy and mythological stuff and wondered how fun it would be to have banners or coat of arms for different orientations and identities. What could they look like, and which mythical creature could fit well or just be fun to see like that? Thus, this little collection was born!
We got:
-Hydra of Omni
-Unicorn of Pride
- The Phoenix of Trans
- The Siren of Lesbian
- The Winged Lion of Gay
- The Griffon of Aro
- The Dragon of Ace
- The Harpy of Sapphic
- The Minotaur of Achillean
- The Oroboros of Intersex [really proud of that one]
- The Hippocampus of Genderfluid
- The Sphinx of AroAce
- The Peryton of Non-binary
- The Winged Wolf of Bisexual
- And Pan for...well Pansexual
WE ARE CURRENTLY RUNNING A KICKSTARTER TO TURN THESE INTO PATCHES AND PINS
If you want one of these designs and support our project, come check out our current campaign.
We are live till the end of July:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/shattersaurus/coat-of-pride
I want to ask this sincerely as I’m very ashamed and I hope I can find other people that maybe have some answers
I’m 31/f and have struggled a lot with se*. I got abused as a child and later got into a complete dead bedroom marriage, from the very start we literally never had sex. He was gay and having se* with men and refused to even cuddle with me. I was with that man for ten years.
So I never understood what normal se* was even like, and on top of that i am extremely introverted so I never managed go build anything emotionally deep with anyone to even confess this.
After my marriage ended, i was terrified of relationships, emotions, people. But I was curious and I wanted to know what sex esas supposed be like. I ended up having casual sex with random men that I wasn’t even attracted to. And it was a bad experience every time, because I would dissociate, like literally go out my body while it happened and it also went numb down there. I am serious.
For some time, I thought the problem was that i wasn’t into men this way. With clothes, I’d find them attractive. But naked i have been so repulsed by their genitals and body in general. I find women much more beautiful and also the female genitals so much more appealing. Men physically are just so disgusting to me, with out clothes.
I’ve been celibate for years now and during those years I started talking to a man from Reddit.
I know it will sound bad, but yes i see his dic* and it’s the first one i find beautiful. Objectively, it is very beautiful.
But it was just that, someone I talk to and have seen his d*. Recently we met, after years of this. And it was the first time I managed to feel se*, and maybe feel love for someone. First time I feel I actually want se* and find their genital a desire and not a repulsion.
But after this, they go back to their country and even though we stay in contact, they don’t want to have a serious romantic relationship and keep their emotional distance.
I feel happy that I got to experience this once in my life. But now I feel my whole identity as an asexual, broken person in ruins and I feel confused. Part of me, wishes that I never met them, that it never happened. And I’ve been growing more and more depressed… I hope you don’t judge me and can give me another perspective. I am not feeling well
Pride Month has started to feel a bit exhausting. I understand why it exists and recognize the discrimination that LGBTQ people have faced, I don't think anyone should be discriminated because of who they are.
That said, after an entire month of constant celebrations, campaigns, advertisements, and rainbow branding from companies, I sometimes find it exhausting. It feels like it's everywhere on television, online, in stores, and across social media. By the end of the month, I'm simply tired of seeing it.
I'm not saying LGBTQ people shouldn't have the right to be proud. It's more about the almost performative feeling of the celebration. When every major company, organization, and platform and even reedit subs seems to focus it can begin to feel repetitive, commercialized, and more like marketing than genuine support.
Again no hate to the LGBTQ community I'm just tired of it becoming a PR and marketing tool.
What you think?
You wouldn’t see Collins or Mills marching, let alone wearing Pride shirts or waving flags in solidarity. However you feel about him, he shows up where it counts.
Nikon Z5II + Tamron 70-300mm f-4.5-6.3 Di III RXD
EDIT: Got a little overzealous with the dig at Mills, my bad.
Hi everyone! 😊
I'm a PhD researcher at James Cook University in Australia and I'm looking for lesbian women aged 18 years and over to take part in an anonymous online study exploring attraction, dating preferences, and how people evaluate potential romantic partners.
This study forms part of a broader research program examining whether theories of attraction, many of which were originally developed using predominantly heterosexual participants, also apply to LGBTQIA+ communities. The goal is to help build a more representative evidence base in this area.
The survey takes around 5–10 minutes to complete and involves viewing a series of fictional dating profiles before answering questions about attraction and relationship preferences.
Although the research is based in Australia, we're recruiting internationally, and I'd love to have lesbian women from Europe represented.
The study has received ethics approval from the James Cook University Human Research Ethics Committee (HREC Approval No. 25H-0225).
Survey link:
https://jcu.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3KSKL7xTGKco61g
If you'd like to know more about the study before participating, please feel free to email me at kaitlyn.gregory@my.jcu.edu.au.
I'm also more than happy to answer any questions in the comments. Thank you so much for considering taking part!
I am a straight man, I know that, but I genuinely cannot get off to the stuff normal straight men do. I have never liked regular stuff. For the longest time I got off to vampire fetishism when I was a teen and as I grew older I started watching porn and I really liked it for about 6 months.
But over time I stopped watching porn, because it started to bore me and it just didn't work anymore. I could watch porn for hours now and I wouldn't even get an erection. I have no interest in the idea of having sex or anything like that. I don't know how people could desire that so much. It doesn't seem gross but i have no interest and I feel it would just be an uncomftorable experience.
There are only two things I can jerk off to consistantly and enjoy. One: Female forearms, I've searched the entire internet and I have barely seen anyone else like me. To me when a girl has a perfect smoothe flawless forearm that literally melts my brain. It's specifically the part nearest to the elbow, if you want a reference of what I would consider a perfect forearm, search "Juri street fighter 6" and scroll through the images, you'll see it eventually...
Another thing is women smoking or vaping or anything like that, I won't go into as much detail cus its kind of messed up, but it for some reason just really turns me on. The problem with those things is they don't have any real sexual application and theyre the ONLY thing I find attractive. I dont find ass, tits, or anything like that hot. The female body just doesn't interest me that much.
This all really dawned on me because I was contacted by a really sexy girl who found me cute and we were sexting and stuff, but she would send me pictures of her butt and things that should turn me on but I couldn't. And it got to the point where she just blocked me and I felt really demoralised. It's not that I didn't think she was hot, but I just didn't know how to ask if she would send a picture of her forearm instead. I was hoping I would not need it.
I just worry for my potential future relationships and how is this going to go. I had a girlfriend who I explained all this to and despite finding it really weird, she actually provided me with goon material related to forearms and smoking. It was handy she had perfect forearms and smoked. But idk if I can expect other girls to do this, even worse if I can't do regular stuff with them.
Any Advice?
We made a series of Coat of Arms inspired Pride designs and now we are finally trying to launch them as pins in our KICKSTARTER CAMPAIGN. Help us unlock the ACE DRAGON and many more Coats of Arms, because of course we made more designs than we originally planned T^T
Hello everyone! We just launched our Kickstarter Campaign for Coat of Pride, aiming to turn all of these lovely designs into actual pins and we already funded for the 5 base designs in like 4 hours! Now we wanna see if we can't unleash the dragon and get the Ace, Sapphic, Achillean, Genderfluid and Intersex one unlocked!
Many of these designs have been directly influenced and shaped by the input of this lovley community (especially the ones who just screamed „DRAGON!“ when we asked which mythic creature you would like to see on the Asexual Coat of Arms), so we are really hyped to actually have them made as a real pin you can hold and gift to friends and family or just hoard it to yourself like a real dragon >:D
So if you are interested, curious or wanna support our gay evil cause, come back us over here on Kickstarter.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/shattersaurus/coat-of-pride
Your kind words and encouragement already mean the world to us, we are not full time professionals, just some silly guys who want to make some silly, lovely art happen, so all the love and input you guys gave us really did make this project really possible to begin with.
So let's see where this takes us :D
Take care everyone
Cheers!
I (23f) don’t know if I’m asexual or just traumatized because when I was 10-17, I was raped by a group of adults repeatedly. But I’ve also never been attracted to anyone or been in a relationship. Ive never even had a crush before. I don’t know if it’s because of what happened to me or if it’s just the way I am. I don’t know if it’s because the rape happened during that age when you would start to explore those feelings and have crushes.
However, and this is weird, I had and still do have loving feelings, towards the first person who raped me, but I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s because of trauma bonding, since I never liked him before and actually hated him.
It’s just all very confusing. Does anyone relate to this or know how I can figure this out?
I realized I was asexual at 34. Some people realized it much younger. It was because I was ignorant about asexuality. I also confused aesthetic and romantic attraction to be sexual. I also masturbated occasionally. I thought it disqualified me from being asexual.
After I realized I was asexual, my libido decreased. Now, I don't get spontaneously aroused. When I thought I was heterosexual, I got spontaneously aroused.
Anyone else experience the same?
So, I recently had a very big epiphany about myself and my asexuality and how it showed up in my life since almost forever without me even realizing it.
Ever since I was a kid I kept being fascinated by (or "smitten with" if you will) kind, soft, gentle male fictional characters from movies and tv shows that all have one big thing in common:
They're all (mostly unintentionally) being portrayed in a very asexual way without actually being labled asexual, i.e. no explicit direct or indirect flirting with women, no sex scenes or innuendos of such, no kissing, no petting, no pursuing women in sexual ways at all. Even if some of them are married only affectionate hugs and/or pecks are shared between them and their partners.
Now I am well aware of course that "if you don't see it it doesn't mean it doesn't happen", meaning that it's not shown in the medium doesn't mean it's nothing said character would still engage in. But that being said it not being shown makes all of them at least appear "asexual" in a way.
I only now realized that this way of portrayal is what makes me fancy these characters in the first place. I had never given it much of a thought. I always considered that I was simply attracted to kind, soft, gentle men. Which is true, I very much am!
But one huge detail I kept missing was that as soon as they would say, do or consider anything even remotely sexual it would immediately turn me off. Which is why I crush on the above mentioned kind of fictional characters so hard: they don't show any sexual behaviour or interest in women (or men or any human being for that point)!
Now my favourite example for this is probably my all-time ultimate movie crush: Carlisle Cullen form the Twilight movies (pls don't judge). Yes, he is married to Emse. But apart from a gentle hug or a soft peck on the cheek they don't appear sexual at all (I think they kiss at some point at the end of Eclipse but when I re-watch the movies I hardly get past Breaking Dawn because I really don't like it).
Second to mention is Dr. Harry Goodsir from The Terror. The way he interacts with and respects Silna ("Lady Silence") in the show is just too sweet (and hot) and the way they are portrayed together never suggest anything sexual between them despite them both undoubtedly having a very strong emotional bond.
Another great example I only encountered yesterday is Praetorian Jack from Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga. Him and Furiosa unmistakably share an emotional bond, they even caress eachother at one point in the movie. But at no time it is even remotely suggested that they're a romantic couple and/or angage in sexual activities.
So knowing now that I am quite obviously attracted to men who pursue women if anything romantically but definitely NOT sexually: what are other examples you have of human male fictional characters from movies and tv shows that you guys like and who appear as described? Because this girl is looking to extend her horizon/canon! ^^
I came out years ago, almost a decade. But I still get scared of being “exposed” as I did suffered a lot of extreme homophobia some years ago (eg, more than once, a guy put a knife in my throat for not wanting to be with them + another woman - obs: I’m a bisexual woman). Any advice?