Human Stories & AMA

My husband and I have 3 kids (9m, 5f, and 3f). My kids go to a home daycare after school and in the summers. It’s run by a woman, Judy, with her daughter as an assistant. Every kid in the daycare is related to Judy, except for my kids.

Judy was a preschool and public school teacher for 20 years before opening her daycare. She’s a great teacher but she is very strict.

The kids aren’t allowed to bring any toys from home or anything with a screen (including a smartwatch). Judy doesn’t allow screen time during the school year and over the summer she only allows a half hour to an hour of PBS kids for the kids over 5 after they do roughly an hour of “summer school” while the kids 5 and under nap.

Judy also doesn’t make alternate meals without a doctors note. She tells the kids she did her job by making the food, whether they choose to eat it or not is on them.

Additionally, the kids over 5 are responsible for packing their bags when they go out (they do at least 3 outings a week). The first few times they get a list, after that it’s on them to remember their snacks, water bottles, books, toys, etc. If they forget, she keeps a small water bottle and granola bar in her bag but it’s not as good as what they would get if they remembered to pack.

My son hates Judy’s daycare. He doesn’t want to carry a backpack so he ends up drinking lukewarm water and eating a granola bar or skipping snack, he hates her lunches, he’s upset about the no screen rule and having to leave his watch at home, and he especially hates summer school.

He’s been begging me to put him in camp. I’ve been refusing because:

a) camp is $450 a week for him to be in a group of 25 kids watched by some teenagers at our local rec center. Judy charges $375 and has 8 kids to 2 adults.

b) camp is from 9-4. Judy’s is from 7-7 (our kids are typically there from 8:30-6:30)

c) the kids are learning responsibility at Judy’s and the summer work helps prevent the summer slump.

My son has been throwing massive tantrums when it’s time to leave in the mornings and my husband is wanting to give in and put him in camp to make things easier. I’m refusing to pull him from Judy’s so he’s upset at me for being difficult.

I (24M) am an accountant living with my parents in the Bay Area. I recently moved here from Chicago, where I lived independently for a year while I always sent money to my parents. I moved specifically because my parents requested that I move back to be closer to them. I had better opportunities in Atlanta for $90k.

Here is the context: My brother (28M) is a high-earner in tech (roughly $900k/year). He voluntarily covers the entire $4,000 rent for the house, and he sends my parents additional money. My parents are very grateful for this, and they have essentially set a dynamic where he is the primary provider for the household.

I make $91k a year. I do not pay rent, and I don't contribute to utilities or groceries.

My parents have started calling me "cheap" and treating me with coldness—specifically today, on my 24th birthday, where they forgot to acknowledge it and refused to go out to dinner with me. They think I am stingy because I have a job and "keep all my money to myself," while my brother covers everything.

The reality is that I have faced a major financial crisis this year. I have had $10,000 in unexpected medical costs over the last seven months. I am also currently saving every penny I have for my upcoming wedding and to move out again next year for marriage. I haven't disclosed the nature of the medical bills because they are private and related to mental health/therapy, which my parents don’t really understand or support.

I haven't told them about the $10,000 in bills because I didn't want to deal with their reaction, and I don't feel I should have to "prove" my financial standing just to be treated with basic kindness. My girlfriend thinks I should pay them $500/month to "keep the peace," but I feel like that would just make me a tenant in their eyes and wouldn't stop the judgment. I also feel like I’m already paying a "price" by having given up my independence in Chicago to move here at their request.

They think I’m an entitled, cheap son. I feel like I’m a responsible adult trying to survive a financial hit and build my own future.

AITA for refusing to contribute money to the household? My brother does not mind at all. But my parents are making me feel like I'm so stingy. I pay for my own stuff, I pay for gifts sometimes to my parents and brothers. I also send my girlfriend like $300 a month.

I did help my brother invest his money, made him around $50-60k, but it's just S&P 500 that anyone can do. But he doesn't do it himself and asked me to help him cause he doesn't know anything about investing.

When my twin and I were around 10 years old, my mom decided we should get a cat as a "friend for our dog," and, presumably thinking my dad would be resistant but quickly warm up to a new pet anyway, took us to adopt one without his permission while he was on a business trip. Of course, my twin and I as kids were on board with getting a cat because we were children and we love pets. So, we went with mom and got one.

Kitty was a gentle kitten at the shelter but became terrified once adopted, likely due to being abandoned as a baby. Her trauma made her skittish, prone to hiding, and uncomfortable with affection or the family dog. Over the years she grew somewhat calmer but remained shy/skittish. All she'd really do is sleep with me at night by high school because she likes my bed. Because of this, I'm sort of the only one who's had much active affection for her.

While both my parents treat kitty nicely, my dad has resented her from the start because she was adopted without his permission, and he still feels burdened by caring for the cat he never wanted. My mom doesn’t like Kitty either since she's messy and unaffectionate and just not the cat she wanted. Both parents treat Kitty as my cat because my dad in particular blames me and my twin for adopting her, and they see that she likes me best. I'm in college now and they insist I take her when I get my first apartment. They view the cost and responsibility of keeping her as unfair to them because, again, she's "my" cat.

Someday, I would like to have an emotional support cat, possibly in grad school (I have an anxiety disorder and the isolation of grad school can be rough). I can already imagine the shit I'm going to get from my parents for adopting a new, friendly cat while leaving them to take care of Kitty.

But I don't want Kitty to come live with me-- mostly because I live multiple states away from home and I don't think it's remotely fair to her to rip her from the environment she's finally acclimatized to after all these years, going from a huge house to a little apartment, and then make her move somewhere new whenever I graduate. She can't travel-- the poor thing will do anything to avoid a carrying crate/bag and will spend every moment in it crying and exhausting herself trying to escape. I even wonder if she might have a heart attack or something on an airplane. She's terrified of new places and people, and she needs to live somewhere with lots of familiar hiding spots in order to feel safe. So, I can't take her in good conscience as a grad student. And in any case, she wouldn't exactly work as an emotional support cat (no offense, Kitty).

I don't know guys. It sucks. I don't think taking her is the right thing to do for her but maybe I'm just rationalizing and she'd be better off with me, meaning I should be responsible and just take her? At least then she'd be with someone who doesn't dislike her and maybe she'd like the small space. What do you think?

First time posting.

I (38M) was supposed to go on a first date with a woman, let’s call her Kathy (F34). We decided to go to this restaurant which was 20 minutes away from her place. I happen to work close to where she lives so we agreed that I would pick her up and we would go to the restaurant together.

For context, this restaurant is the type of restaurant that will charge you if you cancel less than 24 hours before the booking time (I booked it for 6pm because we agreed on that time).

Kathy calls me at 10am on the day of the reservation. She says she has to cancel and that she is sorry and that we will definitely have dinner in the near future just not today. She didn’t give a reason other than she has to cancel. And I understand. People don’t need to give me a reason if they need to cancel plans. So I had no hard feelings and told her that I hope everything is ok and that I look forward to having dinner with her next time.

Since I couldn’t cancel the reservation, I decided to go by myself. And I had a great time and the food was amazing. And I will be coming back to that restaurant at some point in the coming weeks to try other dishes in their menu.

Now I didn’t think it was a big deal, but when Kathy found out that I went by myself, she got upset. She said that it is weird that I went to an expensive restaurant by myself since the reservation was for the both of us. She is accusing me of being insensitive (that’s the weird she used) for going to the restaurant by myself, knowing that she had canceled. I don’t fucking get it.

I told her that I am sorry for making her feel bad but I do not understand why she is so upset when she is the one that canceled and that she knew that the restaurant would charge me anyway if I had canceled the day of. So I made the decision to go by myself so I wouldn’t waste a reservation, and be charged on the credit card that I had on file. I asked her if she could please explain to me what I did that made her feel bad so that we can discuss it properly and that I could take steps so that it does not happen again. She then continued to say that she does not want to go out to dinner with me next time if I don’t know what was wrong with what I did. And I responded with: “Ok. No Michelin Star restaurant for you.” to which she responded “You’re a fucking asshole.” And hung up.

So AITA?

I 30F recently attended a concert with my husband and two friends. It was a large concert with a very competitive ticket buying process. The artist is very special to me and my husband and we were going to buy tickets for our anniversary gift to each other.

A friend (Amanda, 30F) from out of town asked if we could buy a ticket for her because she wanted to see the show and would fly in for it. Another mutual friend (Jill, 30F) who is not a fan of the musician wanted to go because we were both going. My husband and I said no problem, the more the merrier, and managed to get tickets for everyone.

Amanda had her first baby a year and a half ago, and this was going to be the first time she was away from her baby. She stayed at my house the night before the concert and did not seem to be coping well with being away from her child. Lots of tears, stayed on facetime with baby for hours, etc. Eventually we convinced her to get some sleep. We asked if she wanted to go home the next day and she said no.

The concert rolls around and Amanda was having what I could only describe as a panic attack from the time we got to the stadium onwards. She didn’t have reliable signal to talk with her husband about the baby and I think the crowds and heat were a lot. Jill, who was okay missing the show, basically stayed in the bathroom with Amanda the whole time trying to calm her down. My husband and I stayed in our seats except for two times I went to go check on them. Amanda decided to she wanted to leave halfway through and Jill offered to take her back to my house. My husband and I opted to stay for the rest of the concert.

I guess Amanda is upset that we stayed at the concert and it got back to our mutual mom friends. They are all being critical of me. I’m feel I might be the asshole because I told them that Amanda shouldn’t have put us in that situation if she knew she wasn’t going to be able to handle it, and my life doesn’t revolve around everyone else’s kids. I am wondering if I’m the asshole for both staying at the concert and for my response.

Designated throwaway Account.

My BIL hosted the family gathering this 4th instead of our parents. I debated not going already because of the fireworks, as they are located in the suburbs vs. our parents in the country. I made the hour trip in the end.

The family decided to go grab a treat after supper (July 4th) and Invited me along. joined them. Because it was so warm out, I assumed that we would be eating inside, so I didn't think to ask where we would be eating.

I have a medical condition that painfully exacerbates in the heat and humidity, and it was 87°F/30.5°C and very humid. I also have medically diagnosed PTSD. I take medication for both conditions, and have a strict therapy schedule as well.

The family knows about both conditions.

They moved outside to eat, and I attempted to join them. I held out for a few minutes, but between the heat and the dense amount of fireworks, said I was going to eat inside. I didn't expect anyone to follow me, as it was just dessert and not a full meal and it wouldn't take long to finish.

I settled inside to finish eating, and they funneled in a few minutes afterwards while complaining about having to move inside because 'It was nice out' and 'cold inside the building' and 'they wanted to see the fireworks'.

All of that is fine, I understand wanting to sit outside and enjoy the fireworks, it just wasn't working for me, so I moved inside with no expectations to be followed in, and had said so verbally. Had known they wanted to eat outside, I would have stayed behind to make it easier. I don't feel like was TAH, but I also could have stayed at home.

My friend (F34) wanted to talk/hang out while I (F36) had family visiting from out of town and was traveling with them. I wasn’t immediately available but tried to coordinate a time to have a phone call.

Friday: Friend asks to hang/call. I say family is in town and I’m getting ready to travel with them. I offer to call when I’m traveling two days from then and ask if she’ll be available.

Sunday: She didn’t reply, so I didn’t call.

Wednesday: I ask if she would like to talk that evening. I’m still on vacation but found myself with some alone time. Her: “No I’m good.” Me: “Is everything okay?”

Saturday: She finally replies and says, “I think this is a good summary of how I feel: it would take you 15 minutes to talk to me over the phone and it's really disappointing to me that you aren't capable or interested in trying to show up for me when I ask.”

I replied with a long text apologizing: “I'm sorry you're feeling that way.
I understand why that felt disappointing. I did want to talk to you, and I realize now l misunderstood what you were asking for. I thought you wanted a deeper, more focused conversation since we couldn't hang out, and I didn't realize that even a quick 15-minute call would work.
I'm sorry I didn't show up the way you needed in that moment.
I do care about you, and l also know I'm both capable and interested in showing up for you.
I was trying to find a time when I could actually be present, and l missed that you needed something quicker and sooner.”

She hasn’t replied yet, but I’m bracing for more anger on her end. Now I feel like I over-apologized and took on too much blame. But I could also be the asshole for not calling. AITA for not being available right away and trying to schedule a call for later?

Hello! I was wondering if I am in the wrong for not going to church with my family (I promise this is not a religious discussion). Btw you should know that I'm definitely neurodivergent, just not sure what flavor. Sometimes I'm more social than even my sister and sometimes I feel locked away in myself. I have struggled to convey this to my family, so that's probably a portion of why this bs is happening.

Context: I'm on vacation with my large family at a resort. I was offered to join them for church, and I stated no thank you, I feel socially tired. I didn't have a physical excuse, like a headache or whatever, but I didn't want to go. I told them I go when I can, I just get stressed in situations that: I do not enjoy, often have people on both sides of me, and are around a social area/ have people other than my family and me not able to talk. Obviously church has all three, so I didn't feel like going. Stuff that like can ruin my whole day and make me just emotionally f-ed all day. I was expecting to swim with my brother in law later, who is super catholic, and he talked a lot to me about my behavior afterwards. He mentioned I am hypocritical when I don't want to go to their social event, but expect them to come to mine (swimming).

I really love them, but this whole divide thing is so frustrating, and I don't even know if I'm the asshole here. On one hand he is actually right, I AM a hypocrite, but on the other, I feel that I shouldn't have to ruin my entire day (I'm not sure why, that place just kills my happy mood all day) as a "small sacrifice" (his words) just for them.

Even if no one reads this, I typing this out helped me calm down from it, I just worry less now.

My roommate (20M) and I (20M) have been living together for the past one and a half years, and he is constantly bringing guys home. We live in a two bedroom apartment, so it's not the privacy I'm worried about, but it just really annoys me when he has people over. Even though we only moved in with each other for college, we've been friends since we were 14 and it's always irritated me whenever he had someone he was dating around. A couple days ago I brought up the fact that it annoys me when he brings guys to our apartment, and he got very upset with me. We got into a fight where I admitted that it just irritates me when he brings his boyfriends or even hookups to our apartment or around me in general and he got angry and made a suggestion that I was homophobic. So am I the asshole? I've never thought of myself as homophobic, but maybe I am without realizing it?

Edit: I see now that I was kinda unclear why it annoys me, so to clear some things up here are the main reasons. 1) I can hear sometimes them when they have sex, although it has never really bothered me before when I can hear my friends hooking up with someone I'm thinking maybe the stress from all my college classes or something may be impacting it. 2) The people he chooses to date are really annoying and honestly I think he can do way better. 3) Yes I would feel the same if he dated girls

Edit 2: Something I didn't really mention or think about too much before now tbh is that he dated someone in highschool who he spent all his time with and I almost never saw him, so I don't really want that to happen again. I think I don't like the idea of him getting into a relationship and leaving me behind, especially since, as corny as it sounds, since were kids we've kinda been a package deal, like his friends have always been my friends and stuff like that.

Update: I may be in love with my best friend. I think it's something I've known for a while, but the many people saying this in the replies has kind of given me the push I needed to realize this fully. I am going to have a talk with him soon. As for the fanfiction people were mentioning, I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I definitely see a few similarities. Funny enough, he made me watch Heated Rivalry with him at some point and the gay sex kinda turned me on so that probably should have been a sign.

One week ago, I (19F) woke up with diarrhea and went to look for medicine. After checking the medicine cabinet and not finding what I needed, I asked my mom if she had it. She said she did, but insisted that I take a different medicine first, so I did.

The problem was that I couldn't handle the stomach pain anymore, so I asked her for the diarrhea medicine. She kept saying I should wait and let more out before taking it. By that point, I'd already gone to the bathroom six times, and it was only 8 a.m. I was in a lot of pain, starting to feel feverish, and I started frowning because I was in pain and my stomach felt like I did sit ups for an hour straight.

She suddenly got really angry and started saying I was treating her like a servant, that I was already old enough to do simple things myself, that I was educated but no respect, that me and my siblings are all the same and disrespectful, and that I was a bad daughter and an embarrassment to her. The entire situation was so bad that she was hitting the wall and the bed.

I've been genuinely confused this entire week about whether I did something wrong here. Was I not supposed to ask help from my mother to just give me medicine from her bag while I was sick? AITA in this situation?

Ok, here’s the story:
my partner and I bought tickets to a “cosmic baseball” game. It’s like Savannah bananas just under black lights.
The seats were located on the far left of field, way in the outfield pretty much the last seating before the general seating in the grass. My partner has a broken foot so I made sure it was aisle seats and they were right against the barrier (so the first row against the field) so we’d still get a good view.

We completely understood that this was a family event so kids were expected.

When first got there, there were kids all lined up right in front of our seats. We shuffled in and most kids took off with 2 staying in front of us. One of the kids started to back up into my bf, almost stepping on his broken foot, I said “oooh ohh watch out” and gestured to his boot. She looks down and said sorry, no issues. I assume their parents were nearby because at one point her head snapped back and she talked to someone and then her and her brother moved over more out of the viewing way. They still kind of obstructed my bf view but because they were kids and clearly their parents were monitoring them, we let it be, it sucked, but they were trying to get their stuff signed by the outfielders - we understood.

The game took a 30min break to switch things up so we naturally went to go get snacks. When we came back there were a whole new group of kids in front of our seats. So we sat down again. This time it was kids a few years younger than the first few and they were full on standing and swinging on these bars in front of our seats, completely blocking both of our views. The aisles aren’t very big and these kids were damn near sitting on our laps.

So we sat there. HOPING these boys might have parents watching them and maybe tell them to move out of the way like the last kids? After almost 10mins nothing changed. At one point one of the of the boys turned and full on stared at us in the face, like we were in HIS way. Kid could not have been more than 7. So I got fed up and said “could you guys move down a little bit” might’ve said “you’re in our way” and these boys looked at me like I had just hit them.
I actually felt embarrassed for telling a strangers kid what to do? I went through the process of “winning a ticket lottery” and I spent $100 on tix and was looking forward to it for more than 3 months, I just wanted to enjoy the experience.

So was I an asshole for telling these kids to move down even though it was a family event and kids were literally everywhere?
(Side question because I don’t have kids: at a huge packed event like it was, isn’t appropriate to keep more of an eye on your kids? I feel like if that would have been my kid and I noticed, I would have said something (like the first group of kids were told) but I’m a millennial lol so I’m not sure if that’s just how kids are nowadays?)

**I blew up my old life, and I don’t know how to feel about what I lost.**
I’m a 30F and I don’t really have anyone to tell this to.
Three years ago, I cheated on my partner of nine years. We also share an almost 5-year-old son. I know cheating is wrong, and if I could change one thing, it would be how I left. I should have ended the relationship first.
The relationship had been over in my mind for a long time. He was the “nice guy” everyone loved, but I was deeply unhappy and felt trapped. Instead of having the courage to leave, I made a terrible decision.
The person I cheated with was actually my best friend from high school. We’d lost touch for over five years because of my relationship. We reconnected, and we’ve now been together for three years. Despite how it started, this is the healthiest and happiest relationship I’ve ever been in.
When everything came out, I lost almost all of my friends of 10+ years. At first, that hurt. But over time, I’ve realized I don’t actually miss the friendships as much as I miss the idea of having friends.
Looking back, I don’t think those friendships were ever as genuine as I wanted them to be. We grew up together through church, so we’d always been in each other’s lives, but I never felt like I could be my authentic self around them. I always felt like I had to filter what I said or hide parts of myself.
One friend even cornered me after my breakup and basically held an unsolicited therapy session because she was convinced my ex and I were “meant to be together.” That pretty much summed up how those friendships felt. They already had a version of my life they wanted me to live, and there wasn’t much room for how I actually felt.
I understand why they stayed friends with my ex. I was the one who cheated, and I accept that people judged me for it.
But sometimes I wonder if losing them was just another part of leaving a life that never really fit me in the first place.
Now I’m 30, in a relationship that makes me genuinely happy, raising my son, and starting over socially. It’s weird because I’m happier than I’ve ever been, but I also don’t really have friends anymore.
I don’t know if this is regret, acceptance, or just growing up.

I (30/m) am very confident that she (31/f) would say 'yes' if I invited her, but I have a few reasons that I'm hesitant to invite her:

1. Her ex-fiancé will likely be in the game. I'm very close friends with him as well (I actually knew him first). They're both great, it just didn't work out between them.

2. She has pretty severe/poorly managed ADHD and she gets very distracted during sessions, which has been a point of tension in other games she and I have been a part of. She also "lives on (what she calls) ADHD time" and is constantly late to things.

3. Even though I think she'll likely say she's interested, I really don't think she has the bandwidth to commit to a game like this; she has a lot going on to the point that she's barely responding to messages (and when I recently ran a DnD game with her in it, she missed ~2/3 of the sessions), which is normally fine, but when it's about time-sensitive scheduling, it's kind of a pain.

I want to stress that she's not a bad person; she's kind, funny and generous and literally once helped save my life.

With that said, I am hesitant to invite her because I feel inviting her would overall be disruptive to the game for both me and the other players.

On the other hand, it's entirely possible I'm being overly paternalistic, and that I really should be letting her be the one to make these decisions.

To provide a bit more context: the game is a recurring, weekly commitment, averaging 3-4 hours per session. Missing an occasional session is fine (and expected, tbh), but missing or being late to a majority is disruptive.

Help me out, reddit!

Thanks

Y’all wtf. My (F40s) stepdaughter ‘Ebony’ is 21, and has been dealing with some gnarly stomach bug the last few days. Yesterday it got bad enough that we took her to the ER, because she couldn’t even keep down water and she was getting severely dehydrated. They ran tests that didn’t find anything so the diagnosis is ‘bad stomach virus’. They got her iv fluids and that sweet, sweet hospital-grade anti nausea medication which got her feeling better and then sent us home with prescriptions for more meds. Because this is America, our copay was $300.

My husband sent Ebony’s mom a text letting her know how Ebony was doing and asking for $150 to cover half the bill. Side note Ebony lives with us full-time (her choice) and her mom doesn’t help pay for her tuition, her car, or almost any of her upkeep but she has generally chipped in for medical costs. This time she decided that she can’t contribute because Ebony needs to ‘learn a lesson about responsibility by paying for her own expenses.’

This is ridiculous for multiple reasons. First, Ebony is anything but irresponsible. She’s going to community college, works part-time, mows the lawn on her own initiative, picks her younger siblings up from school, and generally holds up her end of the housework better than most adult roommates I’ve had. She pays for gas, recreation, clothing, and textbooks on her own, as well as half her car note. This is not a kid who needs a tough life lesson about frivolous spending. Second, wtf do you mean she needs to pay for her own expenses? We’re her parents, she had to go to the hospital, she’s a full-time student with a retail job, and frankly, it’s only because we live in a late capitalist hellhole that she’s being charged hundreds of dollars to be treated for dehydration anyways.

It’s obviously a self-serving justification on Ebony’s mom’s part so she doesn’t have to pay for anything, but it still pisses me off. If you don’t have the money, just say so. Don’t come up with some weird pick-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps crap. We’re not spoiling Ebony by ensuring that she receives needed medical care.

I have a military deployment tomorrow. It’s not my first, and definitely won’t be my last, but I always feel incredibly lonely right before I leave.
It’s a weird feeling. Heavy. Painful.
And I know that two or three days from now, I’ll be fine.
I just needed to say that. That’s all.

Add:

Thank you all for the genuine kindness. Your words mean more to me than you probably realize. I caught myself smiling while reading them**.**

For some context i am 16m.

Okay, so my mom, Jane (fake name for obvious reasons) has been withholding my phone from me for a month now and every time I request to have it back she always says "I don't wanna talk about it." Now this isn't a problem because she took it, it's a problem because I bought the phone myself and want my stuff back.

The reason she took it is because I snuck out and got brought home by police. Me sneaking out is not (and never has been) a common occurrence so i gave my phone up willingly. I was told I would get my phone back on the June 30th, but here we are in July, and...

Since the 30th I have contacted my mom 3 times asking about my phone and every time she has said "I never said that you'd get it back on the 30th. I said we'll see."

We had a conversation about the issue, transcribed below:

Jane: "What, OP?"

Me: "Mom I need my phone back"

Jane: "I'm not talking about this right now."

Me: "Mom, this can't be an 'I don't wanna talk about it' thing anymore. I have spent most of my summer break inside"

Jane: "And who's fault is that?"

Me: "Mine, yes, but, mom-"

Jane: "'But mom' my ass! You could have died!"

Me (audibly upset): "Mom I paid for that phone, you can't just keep it!"

Jane: "I'm your mom, OP, I can keep it however long i wantt! I'll break that motherfucker and then you won't HAVE a phone."

Me: "Mom, I-"

(Jane hangs up)

After this, she returned to acting nice until I asked about my phone

Reddit, AITA?

EDIT: I now realize I left out a few important details.

1 - I have been exceedingly apologetic an understand my punishment

2 - The exact context of the police encounter is as follows:

I was on my way home but took a detour to a friends house, since they saw i was in the area and knocked on what i thought was their door for somewhere between 10-20 minutes before realizing it was the wrong door. After the realization I walked away and started toward the right door, but after about 5 mins the police pulled up, talked to me, had my mom talk to me and took me home.

3 - The money for the phone came from a side job i was doing.

4 - I was paraphrasing, i did not speak rudely.

EDIT 2:

To those suggesting chores and other things, I don't live with my mother, I live with her 3 brothers (aka my uncles, Dick, Larry, and Jacob(fake names))

The reason for this is her living situation (which would require a separate post..)

I can see some of your logic, however, I wanna debunk some things.

1 - I was sober. It was late, dark, and the houses in that area look similar.

2 - WE (as in me, Larry, and Jane) agreed on the 30th. She herself stated that my phone would return on June 30th.

3 - I have a very bad perception of time. What feels like 10 mins to me could have been 5, 5 may have been 2 ½...

4 - I DO NOT HAVE CELL SERVICE. My phone operates on Wi-Fi and I paid for it in full.

5 - All contact with Jane has gone through my one of my uncle's phones.

Yesterday, my dog made a mistake of bumping his head on the slide door while chasing a ball. I laughed so hard and I think he got humiliated.

He's was snobbing me and didn't even sit with me on the couch the whole day. Today after I gave him a treat, he started hanging out with me again.

I was good friends with my neighbour for 10 years. A few months ago, he blocked me from all messages services.

I talked to him yesterday about it, and he said I was a bad neighbour. I'll try to give the reason why he says I was a bad neighbour without being biased to myself. These are all things he bottled up over the years without talking to me about.

1. 8 years ago, I asked if he had a small space heater I could use for a night. He offered a very old walmart brand space heater that had been in his garage for decades. When I turned it on, it didn't blow hot air. I messaged him to let him know it didn't work, and if he would like it back, or should I just throw it out? Turns out he expected me to buy him a new one.

2. Last summer, he had some family staying at his place, who were parked on in front of my boulevard. It was 1130am, and I was getting ready to mow my lawn. I messaged him, letting him know I was going to mow my lawn and didn't want to blow clippings all over his guest car or worst shoot rocks at it. Turns out it was out of line to ask his family members to move their car while they were still in their PJ ( I donno how I was supposed to know they were in their PJ)

3. we talked for many years about redoing our shared fence. The plan was always the same.

- we hire someone to set the post

- we build the rest on the following weekend.

This would keep the project as economical and easy as possible, considering we both know how to build fences.

Year and a half ago, out of the blue, he dropped off a quote from a local fence company that was 2x more than what we would build it for. He told me he was going on vacation to Mexico for 2 weeks and needed the fence done right away for his dog.

So because this was not what we had discussed for years, I declined.

4. says I'm too nosey. He goes on vacation a lot and spends all summer at his trailer, so I try to keep him informed about what's going on. Example : he was away, and we had a bad storm, and one of his trees got blown hard, a branch landed on his new truck, and the tree was now leaning towards his house. Told me I was being too nosey when I tell him that stuff.

I (30F) caught my dad cheating on my mom about 1.5 years ago. He wasn’t only seeing several sex workers, he was also constantly insulting my mom behind her back, calling her crazy, pathetic, and saying she was more of a maid than a wife.

This hurt even more because my mom has struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life and has been in therapy and on medication for years.
My siblings wanted her to leave him. I told her the choice had to be hers, although I personally would have divorced him. I promised to support her no matter what. She chose to stay. I accepted her decision, despite being disgusted.

The cheating allegedly stopped, but the disrespect never did. He orders her around, yells until she goes quiet because he knows she’ll become anxious, dismisses everything she says, and generally treats her with contempt. It‘s a slap to the face every time I have to witness it.

Now, to the recent past: A few weeks ago my parents visited my husband and me at our new apartment. Our best friend was there too.

During dinner, I offered to pay for a cleaner to help my mom, and my father „joked“ that he’d throw her in the trash once she was too old to do housework. Later he said she wasn’t even human. My mom quietly asked him not to speak to her like that. I was furious.

Two days later, after calming myself down, I called him. I calmly explained that I respected my mother’s decision to stay but would no longer tolerate him humiliating her, especially in my home and in front of my husband and friends. I told him he wasn’t welcome back unless his behavior changed.

He denied everything, refused responsibility, told me to mind my own marriage, then tried changing the subject by criticizing me for wearing shorts and “dressing inappropriately.” I kept telling him that my shorts were none of his business and to stay on the topic at hand, while he kept attempting to steer the conversation to my shorts.

That’s when I snapped.

I told him I wouldn’t take lessons about honor or shame from a man who spent his daughter’s school money on sex workers. I told him he had embarrassed our family for years, that the way he treated my mother showed how small and pathetic he was, and that I was ashamed to call a cheating, vulgar, narcissistic abuser my father. I screamed that I wished my mother had never forgiven him so he’d have been left to die alone, because that’s what he deserved. I called him pretty much every bad name in the book.

We haven’t spoken since. My mom keeps begging me to reconcile because she’s suffering from the conflict and says I’ll regret not visiting if something happens to them.

I refuse. I don’t regret what I said and don’t intend to apologize. I am determined not to talk to him unless he shows genuine remorse and changes. Even if he were on his death bed, I would not reconcile without that. I‘d genuinely be okay with not talking to him even then.

AITA for refusing to apologize or reconcile, even for my mother’s sake?

Sitting on the couch last night, Pupper along side me, watching TV and playing Words With Friends. Glance over at my left knee (the one between Pupper and me) and there's a huge 3-4" scorpion crawling up my leg. While I tried not to panic, I slowly stood up so Pupper would leave and my husband ran and got two plastic cups to collect it. It made it up to about my waist. Controversially, we flushed it. When they hit the water they unroll, this sucker was at least 5" long.

That's my story.