Human Stories & AMA

I 30F recently attended a concert with my husband and two friends. It was a large concert with a very competitive ticket buying process. The artist is very special to me and my husband and we were going to buy tickets for our anniversary gift to each other.

A friend (Amanda, 30F) from out of town asked if we could buy a ticket for her because she wanted to see the show and would fly in for it. Another mutual friend (Jill, 30F) who is not a fan of the musician wanted to go because we were both going. My husband and I said no problem, the more the merrier, and managed to get tickets for everyone.

Amanda had her first baby a year and a half ago, and this was going to be the first time she was away from her baby. She stayed at my house the night before the concert and did not seem to be coping well with being away from her child. Lots of tears, stayed on facetime with baby for hours, etc. Eventually we convinced her to get some sleep. We asked if she wanted to go home the next day and she said no.

The concert rolls around and Amanda was having what I could only describe as a panic attack from the time we got to the stadium onwards. She didn’t have reliable signal to talk with her husband about the baby and I think the crowds and heat were a lot. Jill, who was okay missing the show, basically stayed in the bathroom with Amanda the whole time trying to calm her down. My husband and I stayed in our seats except for two times I went to go check on them. Amanda decided to she wanted to leave halfway through and Jill offered to take her back to my house. My husband and I opted to stay for the rest of the concert.

I guess Amanda is upset that we stayed at the concert and it got back to our mutual mom friends. They are all being critical of me. I’m feel I might be the asshole because I told them that Amanda shouldn’t have put us in that situation if she knew she wasn’t going to be able to handle it, and my life doesn’t revolve around everyone else’s kids. I am wondering if I’m the asshole for both staying at the concert and for my response.

ETA: Just a few clarifications based on the initial comments. We weren’t really considering it a special anniversary thing anymore after our friends asked to join but that was totally fine, however we obviously still really wanted to be there. We did drive everyone but Amanda and Jill were able to call an uber to leave. And yes Jill is awesome for sure.

My husband and I have 3 kids (9m, 5f, and 3f). My kids go to a home daycare after school and in the summers. It’s run by a woman, Judy, with her daughter as an assistant. Every kid in the daycare is related to Judy, except for my kids.

Judy was a preschool and public school teacher for 20 years before opening her daycare. She’s a great teacher but she is very strict.

The kids aren’t allowed to bring any toys from home or anything with a screen (including a smartwatch). Judy doesn’t allow screen time during the school year and over the summer she only allows a half hour to an hour of PBS kids for the kids over 5 after they do roughly an hour of “summer school” while the kids 5 and under nap.

Judy also doesn’t make alternate meals without a doctors note. She tells the kids she did her job by making the food, whether they choose to eat it or not is on them.

Additionally, the kids over 5 are responsible for packing their bags when they go out (they do at least 3 outings a week). The first few times they get a list, after that it’s on them to remember their snacks, water bottles, books, toys, etc. If they forget, she keeps a small water bottle and granola bar in her bag but it’s not as good as what they would get if they remembered to pack.

My son hates Judy’s daycare. He doesn’t want to carry a backpack so he ends up drinking lukewarm water and eating a granola bar or skipping snack, he hates her lunches, he’s upset about the no screen rule and having to leave his watch at home, and he especially hates summer school.

He’s been begging me to put him in camp. I’ve been refusing because:

a) camp is $450 a week for him to be in a group of 25 kids watched by some teenagers at our local rec center. Judy charges $375 and has 8 kids to 2 adults.

b) camp is from 9-4. Judy’s is from 7-7 (our kids are typically there from 8:30-6:30)

c) the kids are learning responsibility at Judy’s and the summer work helps prevent the summer slump.

My son has been throwing massive tantrums when it’s time to leave in the mornings and my husband is wanting to give in and put him in camp to make things easier. I’m refusing to pull him from Judy’s so he’s upset at me for being difficult.

I (24M) am an accountant living with my parents in the Bay Area. I recently moved here from Chicago, where I lived independently for a year while I always sent money to my parents. I moved specifically because my parents requested that I move back to be closer to them. I had better opportunities in Atlanta for $90k.

Here is the context: My brother (28M) is a high-earner in tech (roughly $900k/year). He voluntarily covers the entire $4,000 rent for the house, and he sends my parents additional money. My parents are very grateful for this, and they have essentially set a dynamic where he is the primary provider for the household.

I make $91k a year. I do not pay rent, and I don't contribute to utilities or groceries.

My parents have started calling me "cheap" and treating me with coldness—specifically today, on my 24th birthday, where they forgot to acknowledge it and refused to go out to dinner with me. They think I am stingy because I have a job and "keep all my money to myself," while my brother covers everything.

The reality is that I have faced a major financial crisis this year. I have had $10,000 in unexpected medical costs over the last seven months. I am also currently saving every penny I have for my upcoming wedding and to move out again next year for marriage. I haven't disclosed the nature of the medical bills because they are private and related to mental health/therapy, which my parents don’t really understand or support.

I haven't told them about the $10,000 in bills because I didn't want to deal with their reaction, and I don't feel I should have to "prove" my financial standing just to be treated with basic kindness. My girlfriend thinks I should pay them $500/month to "keep the peace," but I feel like that would just make me a tenant in their eyes and wouldn't stop the judgment. I also feel like I’m already paying a "price" by having given up my independence in Chicago to move here at their request.

They think I’m an entitled, cheap son. I feel like I’m a responsible adult trying to survive a financial hit and build my own future.

AITA for refusing to contribute money to the household? My brother does not mind at all. But my parents are making me feel like I'm so stingy. I pay for my own stuff, I pay for gifts sometimes to my parents and brothers. I also send my girlfriend like $300 a month.

I did help my brother invest his money, made him around $50-60k, but it's just S&P 500 that anyone can do. But he doesn't do it himself and asked me to help him cause he doesn't know anything about investing.

EDIT: Thank you guys, for helping me see that I am being an entitled asshole. I had no idea, and I feel sorry for myself that I became like this because it is not who I genuinely am. I will start contributing more, and I will disclose the medical costs to them and apologize for not contributing my share to the household. First step in change is knowing you are wrong! Thank you everyone, and I agree. I am an asshole. I never saw this perspective. I have had major jealousy issues with my brother all my life, and I feel as if I must catch up to his net worth, even though it's against my values, and it's not who I am. I think it was the consequence of some comparison that I faced as a kid, since my brother was really smart, whereas I was less so.

As Gen Z, my entire life relies on AI. I can't imagine going back to manual coding or grinding out essays from scratch. AI has put everything on fast-forward. A friend said we're the last generation with fully functional brains because AI is dumbing us down. Thoughts?

I don’t get why in heteroromantic relationships women want their partner to be taller than them, but that also goes the other way around. Men seem to (usually) want shorter women. I know that this ofc doesn’t count for everyone, but like it’s just often the case…

Does this also apply to you? And why do you?

My parents bought me a car for my 16th birthday.

I have a nephew(17) who lives with us because my brother is a loser who can't support his family.

My brother asked me to share my car with nephew and of course I said no. He then asked dad to force me to do it.

After fighting about it for a while dad told me to "let him use it only if I don't need it at the time"

So now I need it all the time. As soon as he wants to use it, I leave the house with my car.

Now they think I'm an asshole

I have 4 kids (3, 7, 9, and 16). My 16 year old is autistic level 1.

Yesterday her friend, Ellie (16), invited her over. Ellie does not bring her friends to her house because her family is difficult but her family had plans to be out that day, which is the only reason Ellie invited my daughter over.

My daughter called me at 9 telling me to come get her. She wouldn’t say what was going on, just that she needed to go home.

I get there and I am able to hear yelling and door slamming from the street. Ellie explains that her family got home early, her dad was drunk, and something made him upset. Her keys were in the kitchen so she couldn’t get to them to drive herself and my daughter back to my house.

I got my daughter in the car and asked Ellie to come with us so we could figure out somewhere for her to go. She asked us to wait a few minutes, went around towards the back of the house, and came back in maybe 5 minutes with a packed bag. While Ellie was in the house, my daughter was asking me to just go because she didn’t want to be around people. I tried to explain that that house was not safe for Ellie but that she would not have to interact with her if she didn’t want to.

At the house I got my daughter settled in her room, talked to Ellie about everything that happened, and we called a few other friends to see if anybody could pick her up. Nobody was able to let her stay the night so I set her up in my 3 year old’s room and had my 3 year old stay with me. Ellie left after breakfast saying things had calmed down at her house.

My daughter wouldn’t leave her room until Ellie left and is still upset with me for bringing Ellie here when she didn’t want people in her house. She’s also very emotional today and is only willing to eat 2 things and will only drink from one cup, so I know she’s really stressed out about this whole thing. Now I’m wondering if I’m wrong for bringing Ellie over when my daughter asked me not to.

I (31F) woke up this morning and was met by my husband (33M) while I was on the toilet. I had barely opened my eyes. He walked in and told me a task we need to do at some point today.

I let out a brief sigh and I took a sec to take another breath instead of react out of emotions and think about my words. I calmly then said, “I don’t like being told what I need to do right when I wake up. Can we find a better way to tell me things like this in the morning? I just need like 5 minutes.”

I thought I was careful with my words AND tone.

He took offense to that and said, “Oh so I can’t talk to you in the morning and tell you what needs to be done that day?” And I, still calmly, said “no, you can, I just need a few minutes before being told what I need to do today.”

He didn’t take that well either which turned into the situation I was trying to avoid (bad moods on both parts).

He’s upset and I’m emotional at this point. He’s giving me attitude and being negative altogether.
I feel like I wasn’t and still am not being heard that I just want a few minutes to open my eyes and stabilize myself before stressing on things that need to be done.

I think this all could have been avoided if I had the chance to wake up and gather myself and my thoughts.

He knows I’m not a morning person by nature and we’ve been through similar situations before. What was different this time was my effort to stop myself from throwing shade immediately and calmly express a simple boundary I was trying to establish. I didn’t throw my hands up, I didn’t scoff or storm off.

We tried coming back to the conversation more than once afterwards and were still not seeing eye to eye on the situation.

He believes I threw a bunch of attitude at him and thats what got him upset and gave him an attitude. When I believe his reaction at my, what I thought was a reasonable, request to wake up before stressing on the day was disproportionate and escalated the tension.

I’m literally just trying to help us avoid the sour mood our morning devolved into. Like the saying goes, “help me, help you”.

Things sort of came to a head as we both felt disrespected.
Now, I’m laying in bed, contemplating going back to sleep for a little, while he completes said task WE need to do without me. (Mutual decision)

So, AITA for asking my husband for a few minutes after I wake up to be reminded on the task(s) for the day?

I live in an apartment complex with a pool and a hot tub. I understand kids will be in these areas. I do not understand why parents allow kids to jump and splash in the hot tub, in my opinion that is what the pool is for. I never say anything because it is a public space but I’m coming to vent today because I headed to the hot tub and asked if I could turn the jets on and the parents said, we’d prefer you didn’t because it makes it harder for our daughter to dive for the pool toys. I really think that should be something for the pool, but I didn’t say anything. I left the jets off and I sat at the opposite side of the hot tub from them. The daughter threw pool toys in my direction and I had to move when she dove down to get it to avoid getting kicked. I just wanted to sit in the hot tub to help with some sore muscles. If you read this, thanks for reading and letting me vent.

My FIL and MIL are divorced, yet whenever my MIL is in town my FIL watches her dog. My FIL also has my SIL dog staying with her because she got a divorce and signed a lease on an apt that doesn’t allow dogs. My MIL is moving here so this week she is staying with my SIL, and then next week her and her dog will be moving into a APT near by. My FIL every time he comes over has been brining SIL’s dog, and MIL’s dog. SIL’s dog barks like crazy, and also although a sweet dog for the most part, has growled at our toddler when sitting on our couch. (Which we don’t even allow dogs on furniture). My MIL’S dog is calm, but just a big dog. We have a small dog who gets along with both dogs, but our house is small so it’s kind of a lot whenever my MIL dog comes over, or my SIL dog, and especially when they both are over at the same time.

We are having a cook out today and my husband called his dad to tell him to leave both the dogs at home and he seemed upset. He said the dogs are cooped up in his condo and need a way to let their energy out. I told my husband that’s not our responsibility. Whether it’s one dog, or both dogs, I just don’t care to have either of them running around my house. My dog is hyper enough and she alone stresses me out when guests are here, much less another dog or two other dogs. AITAH?

I (21M) have an older brother (24M) who is an oddball, to say the least. He spends most of his time inside his room. He plays video games and watches YouTubers I don’t even know. He’s attending college classes, but it seems like he doesn’t care too much. It just seems like he’s living a very unimpressive existence.

Recently, he had a streak of dating, which seemed pretty unusual for him, dare I say. He’s been active on Tinder, and none of his dates, except for one, led to a second date. All I know is that the only second date he got was with a woman who is a little too into substances. That’s what I heard from him! I’m not really into the idea of having such a sister-in-law.

Today, I got frustrated because he was talking about being alone and sad at family dinner. He claimed he is an “incel loser” — his exact words — and admitted that he feels like a “forever alone” type. I was frustrated with his claims because I’ve had a few more relationships than he has, and I’m younger than him. I’m sorry, but I just cannot understand how much he talks compared to how little he acts. All he does is sit in front of the computer, and whenever he goes out on dates, he smells bad and wears clothes that look like they haven’t been ironed in a long time.

So I said he’s a loser with that type of mindset, which seemed pretty clear to me. But he stood up and left the room. I know it wasn’t the nicest thing to say to somebody, but it’s true. He barely cares about himself, and he thinks everything will fall from the sky for him. He sits in his room and barely goes out now. I think he’s waiting for me to apologize, but I won’t.

AITA? I think he’s a bit too “woe is me.” I’m not the macho type, but I’ve had a few girlfriends already, and he seems like he only wants to talk badly about himself instead of becoming better.

I genuinely want to know. AITA and a bad dog owner? I've never owned a dog before and moved here because of my girlfriends childhood region and dream to live here. I'm from another state and have never heard of anyone asking for this or anyone doing anything like this.

My downstairs neighbor is complaining that I need to put down a tarp on my patio floor to remove dog hair falling through the cracks.

She claims, "The dog hair is killing her plants."

She hasn't used her patio much since I've lived here (since October). So i don't know if the dog hair is the issue gor her or if she's just never outside. Her patio is a storage pile, with junk lumped around leading me to believe that she's somewhat a horder.

The only time she's out there is to scream at her grandchildren about how or what they're playing with. Or to tell a local boy with a mental disability to leave her grandchildren alone and go play with children his own age.

I'm home, with the dog all day, 7 days a week. I take her out 5 times a day. I'm never gone more than 4 hrs and if I need to be, she gets taken to a sweet boarding school to play with other dogs for the day.

I've asked if downstairs can hang a tarp below my patio, but her son told me that this is my dog and my responsibility as the owner.

I'm definitely interested in relieving her problem, but a tarp would cause many issues. I live in the PNW, and it is humid and rains A LOT. A cheap, simple tarp would cause molds on the wood below and create water retention issues that even the rental manager has said is a bad idea. It would also make my patio mostly unusable for us.

I have a plan to put down a rugged mesh, but it's not inexpensive. I'm partially disabled and live on a fixed income- let alone the cost of living here. My dog is a support animal and keeps me alive and active. We live in a pet friendly building, so the neighbors dislike for dogs isn't just a me problem most of the tenants have dogs around us.

My dog is a purebred Husky, so she does have a lot of hair. It's part of the breed. My home has plenty of hair bunnies because of her. She claims that the dog is "left outside for extended periods of time," but my dog is very intelligent and tells me when she wants to go out or in. I brush her once a month for one to two hours each to try to control this for all of us.

One major piece to cover is that my dog is non-verbal. She's extremely well trained and even more naturally calm and shy just as herself. She's fully quiet and the "sweetest dog they ever met," according to my other dog owning neighbors.

More than that, I'm genuinely curious if this is widely considered a reasonable request? Do dog owners usually do this? I don't want to make problems for her, but the financial stress of trying to fix the issue in a functional way that doesn't harm the building or the use of the space is extremely stressful and has already hospitalized me overnight once freaking out about it.

It doesn't have to be job-related. It could be something simple that has made your life easier or something you wish you had learned much earlier

AITA setting up in front of someone at beach?

I was at a private resort beach where they have a row of rented shade areas farther from the water. People tend to setup 3 rows deep. Turtle season so there are blocked off areas.

I go down and find a spot close to the water and I say like 20 feet from the person behind me in thier small setup and I say they are a little off from the natural setup rows. As I am setting up in front of a TPT, a woman came up and asked if I was going to put a tent (not a tent, just a side ways umbrella half dome) up in front of her. I said yes. She said I could go farther down the beach. I said this space is clear and I am far from her and I would have to go another 200 feet to not setup in front of anyone. Actually even if I was to move back a row was about the same. She said she got there early and I was going to block her view. I replied and said she should have setup closer, that if you look up and down the beach I am in line with people next to me. She gave a reason of turtle eggs and I replied none near us. I finally said that she can't expect to own the whole beach between here and the water to be unimpeded. There was rows of setups, I was simply following the rows. Whole time she side eyed saying okay, okay like there was a threat or something was going to happen.

I was going to originally setup a way that would less impede anyones view, but after that I just didn't care and setup to the max.

Her husband had came and didn't listen/hear the conversation but nothing else came from it but by that time I was setup. I figured any normal person would be okay with it since there were designated rows.

EDIT: To clarify, there were 3 rows of setups. She was on farthest 3rd row. I was setting up closest to water 1st row. A whole row empty between us. She did not want ANYONE between her and water.

EDIT2: I had a sideways umbrella, but to her looked like a tent, and it could be argued that it laying down is sort of a tent. Like a half dome. 90% of setups were canopy, tents, domes. Some had a beach umbrella.

EDIT3: to the max meant i put beach chairs to the side instead of in the dome. The dome was a head taller than the chairs (it came with).

AITA for setting up in front of TPT?

I'm a minor and live with my mother. I would do as she told when it comes to errands like putting stuff in the fridge or turning off the lights of another room. I am frequently unwilling and uncomfortable to:

1. Give her hugs

2. Give her my personal opinions when it comes to what I think she should purchase among these candidates that she already had in mind

3. Listen to her stories

Note: I seldom ask for her hugs, for her to be a good listener, for her personal opinions on my life, much less force her to give that to me.

And yes, I do know that rejecting for no reason, in daily life and socializing, are not going to maintain the relationship. I know that I need to be available to provide emotional support to be a good 'friend' and 'listener'.

First of all, she would wrap the demands nicely into requests, but in reality, her request does not allow rejection at all. I always feel pressured to comply. Secondly, when she approaches me for a hug and persistently touches me even after I said "I don't want to" twice, I end up having to raise my voice while repeating "No!" and be physically defensive like pushing her away for her to get that I don't want to hug her. Thirdly, her reaction would be something like, "But I miss you" and "Just a little bit, I need hugs."

Some time ago, her back was itchy and she could not reach the itchy spot with her hands to scratch it. I was available to help her, but I didn't, even after she pleaded. The reason? Because I know that she won't accept it, and sure she did. I said no again and again, and she pleaded again and again. In the end, she scolded me of lacking filial piety and that "I am not allowed to defy the orders of my parents. I am a naughty child for doing so."

It wasn't always like this. At some point, I've gotten uncomfortable with physical contact, regardless of the person. It was around this time that I begin to lose my respect and love for her, even though I don't clearly remember why. I just started being gloomy. I was willing, but it makes me upset that now, when I no longer feel any willingness (which I don't even truly want to lose).

My mother always thinks that our relationship is familial, but I don't regard her as a safe family member, as home. It's true that I never clarified the difference in how I regard our relationship. My intention from posting this is to learn where I am wrong and where I am right, because my mother can't tell me. Thank you for reading.

When my twin and I were around 10 years old, my mom decided we should get a cat as a "friend for our dog," and, presumably thinking my dad would be resistant but quickly warm up to a new pet anyway, took us to adopt one without his permission while he was on a business trip. Of course, my twin and I as kids were on board with getting a cat because we were children and we love pets. So, we went with mom and got one.

Kitty was a gentle kitten at the shelter but became terrified once adopted, likely due to being abandoned as a baby. Her trauma made her skittish, prone to hiding, and uncomfortable with affection or the family dog. Over the years she grew somewhat calmer but remained shy/skittish. All she'd really do is sleep with me at night by high school because she likes my bed. Because of this, I'm sort of the only one who's had much active affection for her.

While both my parents treat kitty nicely, my dad has resented her from the start because she was adopted without his permission, and he still feels burdened by caring for the cat he never wanted. My mom doesn’t like Kitty either since she's messy and unaffectionate and just not the cat she wanted. Both parents treat Kitty as my cat because my dad in particular blames me and my twin for adopting her, and they see that she likes me best. I'm in college now and they insist I take her when I get my first apartment. They view the cost and responsibility of keeping her as unfair to them because, again, she's "my" cat.

Someday, I would like to have an emotional support cat, possibly in grad school (I have an anxiety disorder and the isolation of grad school can be rough). I can already imagine the shit I'm going to get from my parents for adopting a new, friendly cat while leaving them to take care of Kitty.

But I don't want Kitty to come live with me-- mostly because I live multiple states away from home and I don't think it's remotely fair to her to rip her from the environment she's finally acclimatized to after all these years, going from a huge house to a little apartment, and then make her move somewhere new whenever I graduate. She can't travel-- the poor thing will do anything to avoid a carrying crate/bag and will spend every moment in it crying and exhausting herself trying to escape. I even wonder if she might have a heart attack or something on an airplane. She's terrified of new places and people, and she needs to live somewhere with lots of familiar hiding spots in order to feel safe. So, I can't take her in good conscience as a grad student. And in any case, she wouldn't exactly work as an emotional support cat (no offense, Kitty).

I don't know guys. It sucks. I don't think taking her is the right thing to do for her but maybe I'm just rationalizing and she'd be better off with me, meaning I should be responsible and just take her? At least then she'd be with someone who doesn't dislike her and maybe she'd like the small space. What do you think?

EDIT: My parents treat her well and take good care of her, and she's comfortable in her home. They show her affection when they can but she usually avoids everyone, so they overall regret having her even if they're not hateful towards her. They say they don't blame the cat and want her to have a good life, but they'd still rather me take her. Also, about her sleeping in my bed: She doesn't usually sleep with me anymore when I'm home from college because I'm away for so long. But she's always liked my trundle bed as a hiding spot because it's very secure. She likes squishing into small, dark spaces like that. She's not abused or anything-- everyone in the family is kind to her; but she's a very anxious cat.

This 4th of July my husband and I decided we wanted to walk around our local university campus. Free parking is usually very limited, especially with the current ongoing construction in our town.  However, finding parking that day should not be an issue because not only was it a federal holiday, it was also a Saturday and the permit only parking spots are always free on the weekends. There were many parking options.

My husband, who was driving my car, insisted on parking in a university vehicle only parking spot. There were 3 spots, two already had university vehicles in them and he wanted to take the 3rd and last - leaving no more spots. These spots, while unlikely on a holiday, could absolutely result in a ticket if we park in them. The university parking code states these spots are enforced 24/7. The odds are low but not zero, there are always people working on campus. I told him I do not want to park in that spot, I would worry about getting a ticket even if it was only a slim chance, why could we not park in any other of the hundreds of free parking spots available. Additionally if we are driving my car, shouldn't I have a say in where we park? He says if we got a ticket he would pay for it, but I believe that is still money spent by the family.

He insists he won't get a ticket so everything is fine, I am saying it makes me uncomfortable so why can't we just park in a different spot for my peace of mind. Am I the asshole?

Hi everyone, I (M22) need advice regarding a long-time friend.

I have a very small circle of friends; it’s basically just one group. One guy in this group is the person I’ve known the longest. We met through gaming and found out we lived close to each other. Over the years, we got along well. However, as time went on, I wanted to go out and experience things more, while he just wanted to stay home and game. Nowadays, we play card games one evening during the week together with some other friends.

I feel like this guy is incredibly ungrateful. He’s an only child and was definitely very spoiled by his parents growing up. Over the years, we went on vacation together a few times. We always took my car. I never had an issue with that, and I didn’t even mind paying for gas since I prefer driving anyway. But looking back, he never once offered to split the gas with me.

This year, for the first time, we went on vacation using his car. I offered to pay for half of the gas. He kept saying, "We’ll talk about it later." Since he didn't bring it up again before the trip, I figured we were good.

During the vacation, things got weird. On the drive there, we stopped at a gas station. I went to buy chips, and when it was time to pay, he just tossed his items onto the counter with mine, as if it was completely obvious that I was paying for his stuff too. I was a bit perplexed, but since he was driving, I just paid. This kept happening throughout the trip. I’m pretty shy, and I just can't bring myself to address things like this in the moment.

After the trip, I thanked him for driving. A week later, he asked me what the plan was for the gas money. I told him that since he never got back to me, I thought it was settled. Okay, you could argue that was just a communication breakdown.

But then last week, I won tickets to a sports game and asked if he wanted to come along. All I got was a simple "yes." No "I'd love to," no "thanks for inviting me"—neither before nor after the game.

It's the same thing during our game nights. When I bake muffins for everyone, every single person says thank you, except for him. Recently, I invited everyone over to my place and cooked a 3-course meal. Everyone else asked if they could send me money or bring something along. He didn't. I declined the money anyway, but the others still brought small gifts to be nice. He brought nothing.

I truly enjoy doing these things, and I have no problem baking muffins or paying for gas when I choose to. But would I be the asshole if I tell him that I’m going to stop doing certain things for him if I never get a "thank you" or any sign of appreciation? Is it wrong of me to expect that? I always say thank you for everything because that’s how I was raised, so I’m not expecting anything that I wouldn’t do myself.

WIBTA?

I've got this whole system cups on the top rack facing down, bowls angled a certain way so they actually get clean, no plastic near the heating element, forks handle up but knives handle down safety, I guess. Nobody else in my life does it this way and I get side eyed every time I fix how someone else loaded it.
I know in the grand scheme it probably doesn't matter that much, but I can't stop myself from redoing it if it's wrong.
Curious if this is a universal thing or if everyone's just secretly got their own dishwasher rules they think are the correct way.

First time posting.

I (38M) was supposed to go on a first date with a woman, let’s call her Kathy (F34). We decided to go to this restaurant which was 20 minutes away from her place. I happen to work close to where she lives so we agreed that I would pick her up and we would go to the restaurant together.

For context, this restaurant is the type of restaurant that will charge you if you cancel less than 24 hours before the booking time (I booked it for 6pm because we agreed on that time).

Kathy calls me at 10am on the day of the reservation. She says she has to cancel and that she is sorry and that we will definitely have dinner in the near future just not today. She didn’t give a reason other than she has to cancel. And I understand. People don’t need to give me a reason if they need to cancel plans. So I had no hard feelings and told her that I hope everything is ok and that I look forward to having dinner with her next time.

Since I couldn’t cancel the reservation, I decided to go by myself. And I had a great time and the food was amazing. And I will be coming back to that restaurant at some point in the coming weeks to try other dishes in their menu.

Now I didn’t think it was a big deal, but when Kathy found out that I went by myself, she got upset. She said that it is weird that I went to an expensive restaurant by myself since the reservation was for the both of us. She is accusing me of being insensitive (that’s the weird she used) for going to the restaurant by myself, knowing that she had canceled. I don’t fucking get it.

I told her that I am sorry for making her feel bad but I do not understand why she is so upset when she is the one that canceled and that she knew that the restaurant would charge me anyway if I had canceled the day of. So I made the decision to go by myself so I wouldn’t waste a reservation, and be charged on the credit card that I had on file. I asked her if she could please explain to me what I did that made her feel bad so that we can discuss it properly and that I could take steps so that it does not happen again. She then continued to say that she does not want to go out to dinner with me next time if I don’t know what was wrong with what I did. And I responded with: “Ok. No Michelin Star restaurant for you.” to which she responded “You’re a fucking asshole.” And hung up.

So AITA?