r/TrueOffMyChest

Tale as old as time, I know: I thought he was different.

He is deconstructing from “that type” of maleness since he was a teenager. He tells me stories of how alone it is to not have male friends because every time a friend cheats, makes misogynistic remarks or act shitty against women he distances himself.

He was “wronged” as a kid (by another man) and that made him grow up empathetic to women. He always showed that. He showed I could trust him! HE SHOWED HE WAS SAFE.

But our intimacy have always been hurtful to me. I kept trying to teach him how to perceive me. How to ‘dance’ WITH ME instead of ‘doing the dance ON me’. We were kids when we met so we learned how to communicate and express our needs together, and have been doing so for the past 10 years.
But there’s one specific act I asked him never to do without checking with me first. I gave him 2 options even: either verbally check with me before doing it, or start with that from the beginning - in a kinky way - so I can get into the mood. It doesn’t work for me any other way. Every single thing else in our marriage is perfect! I’m treated like a queen out of bed. But this has always ruined it for me.

A few days ago we had this same conversation again, but in the best way possible (I thought). It was a spicy conversation, not a “it isn’t working” conversation.

And yesterday he did it - again. So I broke. I froze. Then cried. Then told him how baffled I was… because I CANNOT UNDERSTAND why he’d do it. The previous conversation was soooo clear… So I pressured an answer out of him and he told me he was too hor*y.

That’s it. That’s what my trust is worth.

He doesn’t care that I won’t be able to let my guard down to relax and enjoy if I can’t trust he’ll respect my boundaries.

I realized, no matter how much I wanna make excuses for him, I can’t anymore. He is “just a man”. He thinks with his private parts. I know we’re animals but we’re also “supposed to be” more than that. Men like him aren’t…
How can I respect him as a man if he acts like an animal whose instincts control their actions?
I see him now for what he is and it’s pathetic…
My admiration for him turned into some kind of resigned disgust. He will never hear these words from me because I don’t wanna offend him, but I needed to say it to someone. I love him now only in a way you love an addicted family member… it’s a love filled with pity.

I’m not even angry with him… just repulsed. I don’t see him as my equal anymore. It’s over.

I (27m) am exhausted. I am constantly scared. I am constantly anxious.

I don't think my life is going to get any better. I don't think I want my life to get any better.

I don't know how I'll ever be able to live alone in this economy. I don't know how I'm supposed to live with my family.

Everyone is always aggressive. Everyone is always sad. Everyone is always selfish. Everyone is stressed, and everyone hates each other for past mistakes.

Because I'm a good person, I have relationships with people, but I don't want to be with those people anymore, but they want to be with me.

I don't know how I'll ever cut these people out my life. I don't know if they'll ever change to be better for me.

I want to die. I want to go. I want to get sick, and die. I want to stop caring about fights in my house. I want to stop caring about being afraid of being the favourite. I want to stop worrying about what my actions will cause my family because I can't even enjoy my days anymore.

Everyone has their motivation to live in this shit world. I am some of those people's motivation. I have no motivation for myself to want to live.

Everyone is just always ugly with each other. I can't anymore. No therapist helps. No amount of coping mechanisms change what happens daily in my house. How the people treat each other. How the people interpret each other.

There's chronic pain. There's constant money stress. There's continuously fights over everything that happens.

I want to move on. I'm tired. I've lived enough. I know I'm technically still young, but I don't have anything I want to live for. Everyone else can just go on with their lives if they are so happy being angry and hating each other and stressing.

I don't want to do this anymore. I'm so tired of living. I'm so tired of trying to make peace so that I can have a good day.

I don't know if I'll ever have a good day again. I'm so tired. I see no point to live and just want to die.

Sorry I don't know how to start this off. It's going to be a cliche childhood abuse (**trigger warning**) story but that isn't going to stop me so yeah sorry. If you read this, tysm and any reply would be appreciated lol. And sorry if it comes out emotionally constipated.

My mom used to:

- Threaten suicide (once almost attempted suicide) in front of me (I was near 5 and 10/12). Placed a knife in my hand point it towards her stomach and asked me to "kill her".

- Force my face into my soiled underwear once when I was 8 and told me to "eat"

- Place my fingers near the burning stove just to feel the heat and used to threaten me with burning, tried to burn my fingers once.

- Lock me and my brother separately in different washrooms with lights off for minutes

- Tell me to "die" that she only has one daughter and would be grateful if I died. (I was 9)

- Tell me that it was me and her against the world when I was 3-5 and separated me from my grandparents, then when my sister was born, she told him that it was him and her against the world and I was just like my dad and my grandparents.

- Make me "study" 12-14 hrs when I was in NUR-KG and she used to hit and scream until her bangles broke, my lip was bleeding, and my hair had somewhat ripped off. She used to "teach" me while doing household work, fighting with my dad, and if something went wrong, like her stubbing her toe, plate falling, argument with dad, well I always there to hit no? That's all of it is happening because of me.

- Have violent fights with my dad involving choking, hitting head, breaking a finger once, jumping from a moving car etc.

- Used to not hug me, give me any affection when I was 3, telling me she was teaching me that "Life is harsh"

-choked me when I was 12.

-chased me around the house, scissors in her hand, blood curling screams that she will kill me, I hid, she found me, held me in a headlock and chopped a lock of my long hair before my dad stopped her.

My furthest I could remember in that household was of my mom holding a knife and warning my dad or my grandfather to come near her else she would kill herself. I think I was near 3/4. I was trained by everyone in my family from 2-8/9/10 to not speak whatever goes inside the family. My grandparents, mom everyone taught me to keep my mouth shut.

When my sister was born, she was around 1 or 2 when I asked my mom when will she start getting hit as well?.. I was around 6-7. Mom said when she grows up, I was a bit disappointed because it hurt watching (I believed this is how it worked, till 3 children were pampered, then came hitting) but yeah I could wait. When my sister reached 4-5, was in NUR-KG, I asked my mom why aren't you hitting her? And she told me that she just couldn't. That my sister was too cute and she still looks like a baby to her. I felt so bad, I bought this up multiple times as a joke (I was near 8-9-10 and still getting hit) until got angry at me, and then one day after a particularly bad study session, the night she held my sister in her arms and hugged and kissed her and cooed to her and told me that she wished I was dead and that she only had one daughter and it wasn't me.

My emotions kind of shut off after that, like around 12, I started to shut down and around 13 it was complete. Eventually my dad eventually started siding with mom, since I was completely passive. And I was alone. Once again. My dad left me like my mom did. And for the next few yrs, I forgot the start 12 yrs of my life.

Fresh start I guess lol.

Unfortunately, it wasn't as smooth sailing. About 4-6 yrs later after all this, while I was in the middle of my childhood amnesia breaking, my mom mentioned how much I reminded her of her mother-in-law and my dad. And suddenly everything fit. And now I can't even blame anyone here. She just sounds so broken.

I feel alone when I say this. Luckily this is a safe, anonymous community so I’ll go on. F it.

Lately over the last few months (start of 2026) I feel heavily conflicted. I think and think and think about these things, spending hours upon hours dragging my mental energy for me to never take any action. For context this is exactly who I am:

\- First yr sem 1 Domestic Student studying Business at Monash Uni (Australia)

\- 5,8’ Indian descent, recently (in December) coloured my black hair blonde and has now grown out

\- Isn’t necessarily the most academically gifted but is obsessed internally with being good at studies: fear often holds me back

\- Used to be quite active: was part of state cross country (long distance running 🏃) for 3 years- yr 7-9

\- Now does basketball (as a passion: used to play league), soccer (for Monash uni team), tennis ( for Monash uni team)

\- Don’t mind a bit of anime here n there (not the weird p0rn ones obviously)

\- working at KFC next to uni if ykyk where it is (job sucks sooo bad tho)

\- Extroverted (but can also be introverted) but most definitely an adaptable person: has fun doing what everyone else is doing (being with others and seeing them have fun is the most joy I get 😅)

\- Often considered too pure or innocent to others because of my positive outlook and good intentioned nature, not that I necessarily am innocent by any means , but I only have good intentions when I do things 😀

\- Tries to do the best that I can and seeks perfection every single day: by trying to be as efficient and effective as I can be either with my work, sport, social meetups; I believe I have a different mindset to others and am quite willing to sacrifice my blood, soul, sweat, tears and life to becoming better: I know that probably sounds stupidly arrogant but I don’t really know how to word it otherwise sorry

\- I also try to be as non judgemental, non egotistical/ arrogant and accepting, open to others as I can be: I basically try to be as ethical as I can (often sacrificing a personal cost to do so)

\- Worlds biggest:

\-> Self aware Over thinker (I’ve never met, heard, seen, experienced anyone like me or near my level)

Now, over the last few months I have been thinking very deeply about relationships. Yes I know what relationships look like but more importantly I’ve gained an interest in wanting one (with a girl). I’ve never really thought of myself as better than anyone else or anything like that so I’ve always said to myself that ‘No girl would want me’ for many reasons: looks, build, lifestyle, independence etc. But now that I’m interested I’ve sought major self improvement (not saying that wanting to have a girlfriend solely made me decide to improve myself) and it’s become more of a motivator to what I already do. I don’t really know how to describe it well (sorry) but I’ll try anyway.

I want to feel how it is to love. How it is to love, yearn, and feel these feelings that I will never feel as a single man. I want it all. I want all the good things, all the bad things and I feel no shame in saying it. It sometimes brings me sadness when the doubt starts to creep in that I’ll be alone forever, but I remain delusionally hopeful. Hopeful that I’ll one day find the one, or anyone who accepts me for who I am. Or even if they don’t, if they think in a remotely similar way ( as I said it’s not like I’ve met anyone - boy or girl- who thinks this way) then that’s more than enough for me.

Given my character and everything, you’d think I’d go try find one straight away right? Well that’s not true. I feel scared transitioning from friends to more than friends (yes I can speak to girls it’s not hard to be normal). I’ve never gotten that far with anyone and I’m extremely fearful of it all. These questions typically pop up in my head:

\- What if they don’t like me?
\- What should I say right now to make them happy?
\- There’s so much I want to say, do or act but I NEVER want to make them uncomfortable. What do I do?

Most people close to me don’t even know this but: I have the highest expectations on myself then anybody ever will. I expect myself to be great, amazing, strong, smart, adaptable, cold and everything. I have the perfectionist mindset but do not execute.

Like I said: I want it all.

These expectations weigh on me quite often. Day after day, week after week as the progress to my goals grow shorter and shorter but aren’t yet fulfilled; my unsatisfaction remains and often grows. It feels like my energy requirements compared to most people around me are quite high, often leaving me exhausted everyday. I feel like a perfectionist that is losing. It’s part of the things that I do 24/7:

\- Overthink: ruminate and think about the future and think about the present 🧠

\- Feel unsatisfied with my situation and where I stand:

The perfectionist element.

I’m ambitious, hard working and feel quite deeply. I crave social validation like others do every now and then, feel confident like others do, laugh and am outgoing, friendly and kind (as painful as it is to admit I’m not always but I try as much as I can).

I just don’t share the same mentality/ mindset.

But, at the end of the day, I’m human.
I want to be loved so badly. I want to be in a relationship so badly that I don’t know what to do. I freak out internally until I combust with joy thinking about something like this. It fully consumes me.

I feel to pure.

But, I’m not stupid either, I know what’s right and wrong. I know that not everyone is out there to help you, be kind or be supportive in any way. They are there to steal and cheat and lie for personal benefit. I feel like most of this is common sense but I’m just missing something crucial. I might be missing love.

I just…

Want it so badly yet feel so powerless.

Please if anybody has advice, a friend they know that thinks in a remotely similar manner, (best case scenario someone is interested 😜- kidding obviously) if they can relate or **ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING**; I will gladly take it.

Note: I just want to say sorry for sounding quite self centred and arrogant, I really was hesitating to write this and didn’t want to come across this way. It’s probably extremely wrong of me to think this way given their are millions of not billions of people out there struggling with real mental, physical and emotional problems I would never understand or be able to help with. I also want to apologise if Im saying one thing then arguing another it’s probably difficult to understand what I’m getting at (sorry I just tend to do that). That said, where I think now is cooking my life up (in a bad way) and is making me extremely hesitant, stagnant and doubtful.

I love my mom, but every interaction with her feels entering an emotional black hole.

For literally decades, everything has been a crisis. Every phone call becomes drama, guilt, illness, conflict, or some catastrophic situation where I’m expected to emotionally carry her. Growing up, I constantly felt responsible for her mood and wellbeing.

Now I’m an adult with my own family, wife, responsibilities, and a child on the way, and I’ve started distancing myself because I simply can’t absorb it anymore.

The hardest part is that she’s not actually dying. She has been “seriously sick” for as long as I can remember, yet somehow survives every apocalypse she predicts. At some point I realized I’ve spent half my life emotionally preparing for the end of the world every single week.

And honestly? It drains the life out of me.

I feel guilty even writing this because I do love her. But I’m tired of feeling like protecting my own peace makes me a bad person.

I am a young adult now, but when I was in 3rd grade we had a new tranferee classmate, our teacher introduced him to our class and said that he's on the spectrum. (i forgot the exact word she said but something like he has special needs or he's different,I totally forgot it since it's been a long time)

Honestly, I don't remember much anymore but what I am aware of is that we've called him "error" Knowing he's on the spectrum and I did not understand just how wrong and bad I was doing back then.

He was actually funny and friendly but in return, I did that to him which is why I am so remorseful.

Later on before he officially left our school, his mom went to our class and said something while she's angry and that's when I realized later on that what I did and what we did was really really bad(including our classmates though I don't remember who else were involved).

I wanted to find and to reach out to them but I could never find him in social media or anywhere else. I only remember his 1st and 2nd name but not his full name. but if this post ever reach him, I would like to say that first of all, I am deeply remorseful and sorry to what I did and I know that no amount of apologies could ever make it up for the damage I've caused you. I was young, stupid, naive, and didn't know what I was doing which still do not justify my wrong doings. I do hope that you are doing really well regardless. Few years later, i also experienced being bullied by both classmates and teachers, which is why I know and I do understand just how it feels like to be hurt even just by words and it still affects me up to this day, you're one of the reasons as to why I've spent my birthday in children's ward and I plan to spend my next birthday with kids on the spectrum as well, I now also have a nephew who's on the spectrum as well and it made me see just how wrong my actions were to you back then. Again, I do hope you're doing well and I am so sorry.

I’m probably going to delete this, but I need somewhere to just vent.

My wife and I have been together for over 10 years, married for 4, and have a 17 month old daughter. We own a nice big house and rent out a room to our friend (she’s been living with us for 5 years now) and another room to my parents, as my mother has complex medical issues and my dad needs help with her when he’s at work (they’ve been here almost a year). We also have 2 cats and 2 dogs, but my parents moved in their cat and dog as well. So a total of 6 people and 6 animals in the house.

It’s a lot. The house is large but I still feel so suffocated. My dad is wonderful, but he works full time and is the main caretaker of my mom, so he’s very busy. But he is very good with helping, like mowing the lawn and playing with the animals, babysitting, and any chores that I’m falling behind on.

My wife, mom, and roommate on the other hand? They’re not so great. Before we had so many people living with us, I never minded being the main cleaner/homemaker of the house. I proffered it, honestly, because I like things done a specific way. Wife makes the money, I take care of the house. Fine trade off. But then I had a baby and suddenly 2 more adults and 2 more animals within the same year to take care of and now I am doing so much cleaning that I am becoming a shitty mom to my toddler and I’m so burnt out at the end of every day that I don’t even want my wife to come near me. And it doesn’t even matter, because as soon as I wake up, BAM! I have to start all over. I swear it’s like I wake up and you can’t even tell I cleaned all day the day before. It stinks like animal no matter how much I vacuum, mop, dust, whatever. 5 adults mainly using 2 bathrooms, it gets gross fast. Dishes pile up no matter how many loads I run. Never ending laundry.

My wife was a full time nursing student and worked full time (3 12 hour shifts) so while I was drowning in housework and being a mom and being a caretaker to my mother while my dad works, I tried very hard to respect my wife’s time so she could study and do homework and rest and whatever. But now it’s summer and I’m still drowning and I just can’t stand it anymore.

She does help. If I ask her to do something, most likely she will if it’s a little thing like load the dishwasher. But she procrastinates a lot too and then when I get home from work, it’s like 50/50 chance things got done, and another 50/50 if the task was completely finished.

But it’s so mentally exhausting to even have to ask her to do things at this point. Like, I can see that the floor needs to be vacuumed and mopped and dishes need done and a toilet needs scrubbing and there’s laundry to fold and someone still has to make dinner. Why can’t she see those things? Why do I have to point them out, and give a detailed list? Why is it that I have figured out how to do laundry but if I ask her to do it she has a million questions? Why when I ask her to make a meal, she asks how? I figured out all this shit on my own! It’s not that fucking hard!

It’s not weaponized incompetence. It’s not laziness, either. I know she struggles with executive dysfunction. I do too. But I have a family that relies on me so I have to power the fuck through it. Truly I think she is just so anxiety ridden and she has to double check every little thing she does and it’s exhausting. I’m sorry, but if I say I need a breather and ask you to do a chore that needs done, but then you ask me a million questions about that chore, then I did it. I never got my breather.

I’ve begun fantasizing leaving. I’m so frustrated with life and in my relationship. I love her but I don’t think love is enough anymore. I just want to pack my shit and rent an apartment. Tell my dad I’m sorry but I can’t take care of my mom anymore because she’s too much on top of everything else. Give my wife 50/50 custody of our daughter so I can have some alone time and be a better mom when she is around.

If I could afford it, I might actually do it. But as it stands I don’t make enough to live alone, much less take care of my daughter. We’re so broke right now due to inflation, the amount of people living here, and our jobs royally fucking us over lately. Life right now feels impossible.

I don’t want my marriage to end. I have loved this woman since I was 16 years old. She is the only home I’ve ever known. She has been my anchor. We grew up together, became adults together. Share a child, pets, mortgage, car payments. She’s my fucking coworker. Our lives are so entwined. I am so fucking stuck and sad all the time. We talk, she does listen, but change is hard. She’s trying her best I know she is she isn’t a bad person not one bit of her is bad, and this woman loves me like you wouldn’t believe. But it’s just not enough anymore.

EDIT:
I was going to reply to a comment but figured I’d just add to my post. We made plenty of money together to afford the house, pets, cars, and baby. Then our job (we work in the same place) changed how our income works and it resulted in a $30k/year reduction in our combined income. Yes, I work too. I’m part time, she’s full time. Even with that, we can afford the house and whatnot. But we are currently in the hole due to medical debt and my wife going back to school. My wife going back to school affected her work performance, she was leaving early a lot because of clinical rotations and exams, so it took a toll on our savings. She went back to school immediately following the deduction in our income, so don’t bother commenting we need to find better jobs. Obviously that’s the goal.

My mom cannot help. She has poor eyesight and cognitive function. She’s diabetic and suffered multiple strokes. She has tried to help and it’s just lead to her breaking something or me completely redoing what she’s done. The only thing she’s good at is entertaining my daughter occasionally when needed, but even then she can’t do it long.

I want to get rid of the animals. My wife and I talk about it a lot. We’ve reached out to multiple shelters. The problem we have, is all 3 dogs are over 8 years old. They’d be put down immediately. We’ve had our dogs since they were puppies. Getting rid of them, the thought, is like ripping out our hearts.

My parents pay rent and help with groceries. It’s not much, but it covers utilities. I don’t want to make money off my parents. My dad has a lot of debt he’s trying to pay off from my mom’s medical bills. No, we can’t hire help. No, she doesn’t get government assistance, she’s been turned down twice. I think we will have to raise rent on our roommate. She is our best friend but inflation is crazy and at this point it’s costing us money to have her live here. We were hesitant because she works and is also a nursing student, but things have to change.

My wife knows how I feel. We talk about everything, all the time. A lot of the comments are right. She’s not really the problem. Our environment is. My wife truly is wonderful and I think I’m just taking my frustration out on her because she is my safe person. I’m not actually wanting to leave. I just have this feeling of needing to run away, which some commenters pointed out. Amazing how some of you can really dissect a Reddit post written at 4am.

Before you judge, just read first.

I’ve worked for 6 months part-time at a musical theatre playgroup for kids as an assistant. Today, a few hours after work, I was told by my employer that I was let go.

She told me that there were complaints from parents because I was checking my phone during class and wearing my bag near the end of class.

First, I was using my phone BECAUSE the lead teacher had asked my to record her and the class. I would then send the videos to her later.

My bag was tiny and could fill maybe 10L of stuff. I picked it up literally two minutes before class had officially ended and there was nothing left for me to do when I was waiting for the lead teacher to do her thing. And if there was anything to do, the bag would not be a distraction at all since it was tiny.

I asked my boss if I could be let go with a warning this time, she said no and fired me.

Of all the jobs that I was let go from, even the tiny ones, this had by far the worst reason to fire me.

EDIT: By let go, I mean my clients had either lost interest or had already reached their milestones to no longer justify keeping me around. Most of my work was with private clients. The real companies eventually had fewer clients to justify keeping me and other workers around.

Quick backstreet, my wife and I moved in with my brother and his wife to save some money and have a nicer place. The problem is after almost a year, I can't stand my brother's wife and I really have nobody to really vent to. My wife is understanding but I don't want to overwhelm her with constant complaints.

First, we'll call the wife Sara, doesn't drive so she needs a ride to work every day. My wife agreed to drive Sara to work because their offices are fairly close together. Sara promised, a year ago, she would work on getting her liscense so she wasn't so dependent on us. A year later and she won't get her permit because she's too afraid to drive. Her and my brother's schedules don't line up so even if we're not working, we have to drive her back and forth 60 miles. She doesn't offer gas money either. We always have to ask.

Second, I swear she acts dumb when she doesn't want to do something. She won't vacuum because she says she doesn't understand how to use it. When we do get her to vacuum or wash the floors, it's half assed so we have to go and do it over. Same goes for dishes, wiping the counters, cleaning appliances. Ect ect. If we don't do it, it gets ignored or half done.

She promised us my brother wouldn't be an issue. Now I love my brother but he's messy as hell. Before we all moved in together, I asked if she would be keeping him in check and she promised up and down she'd keep him clean. We'll, there are two bikes, a skateboard, a hover board, and a scooter all sitting in our living room. No matter how many times I've asked for them to be moved, they are gone for *maybe* a day before they get dropped back in the living room.

Their section of the house is another beast. They have two rooms upstairs all to themselves but our bathroom is up there. When I go to take a shower, it looks like the floor in the hallway to the bathroom has not been cleaned in months, the stairs are covered in cat hair and there is stuff everywhere. It's gross as hell and smells like feet up there so I can't comfortably shower.

I will give Sara this, she feeds our cats. That is her only contribution.

Now a lot of this would be tolerable if she was even remotely fun to be around but she's not. Sara won't leave the house unless it's for work or visiting family. Otherwise she is *always* home and always visibly in a bad mood. Constant sighing. Always complaining. It's an absolute drag.

As I said in the beginning, I am fed up. I'm so sick of living with her and she's an absolute mood killer. My brother can be aggravating as hell but he's at least fun to be around, can get himself to and from work, and even though he's messy, he contributes in other ways like fixing appliances, working on my car, and doing really dirty cleaning that the rest of us are more apprehensive to do.

I don't like Sara at all. I am sick of living with her but we really need to stay another year to save money. I'm not really looking for advice. I just *really* needed to rant.

Hello, I have written more than once that I have had pronounced autism since childhood, my autism permeated even into my tone of voice, body language, and mannerisms. In my teens, I was withdrawn, I tried to solve my problems, work on myself, and improve, and my friends helped me.

I had no crushes at school, I hardly talked to girls, mainly because of their own reluctance.

I have been trying to date since I was 16 (I am 26 now). In total, I have had about twenty-some dates in my life, all of them were unsuccessful, there was never a second date. After telling my close friends, they then taught me how to communicate with girls through Tinder. At first, they told me what to write, then they gave me to write myself, only before sending it, they asked me to check if I had written it well. Eventually, I learned how to chat with girls on dating apps. Unfortunately, everything was fine until the date. During dates, girls usually stayed until the end out of politeness, but in the end, their boredom or even dissatisfaction was already visible. Although I tried to be interesting, at the same time be myself, and be interested in the girl, it almost didn't change the situation. Eventually, I realized that my own body language, tone of voice, mannerisms, etc. speak for me, which I have absolutely no control over. Girls could smell my autism. I have been insulted more than once during dates, such as that my face or behavior looks like a slob (I won't hide it, I have also dated low-life, low-intelligence girls), although I didn't say anything bad. I have been called that way more than once during video chats, although I didn't even have time to say anything, except for hello. Although more than one girl has said that I am a pretty nice guy before, it's a pity that such guys have other problems. So I realized that the reason lies solely in my body language and tone of voice, which are permeated with autism. When it came to dates, most often girls would say that they were not interested in me, that I was bad or that we simply “didn't vibe”. It often happened that after the first and only date I was blocked shortly after. Often girls would say that it was their first time dating a guy like me.

Over time, I realized that my problems were insoluble, that negative experiences would only repeat and repeat, so I decided not to date anymore. Of course, it still hurts to realize the fact that you are inferior to other guys just because you have autism, which you can’t hide. That others can date and create long-term relationships, but you can’t. That the only sex you can have is for money (I've had a couple of ONS lately, but that's all that's left).

I completely understand girls and I don't judge them for not wanting to choose an autistic guy with "emotionless dead eyes", without emotions, a complete introvert for whom it's best to be quiet and alone, for whom even minimal communication is a challenge. Maybe it's just more annoying that there were some mean girls who tried to mock and insult me, not understanding such behavior that doesn't depend on the person. I even apologize in my mind to all the girls whose time I wasted and whose emotions I ruined, because from the photos and chats, they really expected a different guy.

I try to find spiritual peace in life without looking for a soulmate, because I understand the consequences of that. Like psychotherapy, reading books and gaming also help, at least for that moment I can forget about everything.

And to the other guys, I want to wish you not to be depressed, not to be discouraged, because there are always worse situations in life. Maybe someone is going through a breakup with a girlfriend - I advise you to be happy and think that for others such things are not even understandable, because they cannot even create a long-term relationship.

Have a nice day to everyone. :)

Super fun, kids were great.

But we’re getting the Dino fossil tour and the docent explained that there was soft tissue found in a TRex fossil and that theoretically they could splice it with chicken DNA and essentially clone it.

I have not stopped thinking about this for about 3 weeks.

You’re telling me that we’re basically living through an accelerated apocalypse and you have the audacity NOT to give us a TRex?

I think I’ve earned a goddamn TRex.

Don’t come at me with ethics because those are long gone. Every time I see the news I think ‘okay we can do that but not clone the TRex?’

I actually think it’s borderline unhealthy that this consumes my brain space (even if it’s mostly humorous) but what am I supposed to do? Call a therapist? How’s that going to go?

“Yeah I am just really frustrated about a fun fact I learned”

Anyways, I’m hoping writing it down will subdue it and get it off my chest so fingers crossed.

So my boyfriend texted me yesterday and asked me to forgive him, telling me he is sorry and wants me back. I talked to him for a bit and saw it could be genuine but then he said: "But baby you know you did wrong too, you could've just let me drive, yes I shouldn't have been pushing but you could have just let me drive it"

This broke me, I genuinelly thought that he was apologizing and that we could make up and that it would be good now, sadly I saw he had no real desire to make up and was still blaming me for the break up.

I now feel even more hurt but at least know it's over for sure. It's 1 am now and I don't even know how to feel anymore.

Yesterday, I was watching a football match at a bar with a friend. We went outside during halftime and when we sat back down, I suddenly started sweating like hell, felt incredibly dizzy, my vision started turning black and my hearing became more and more dampened. I interrupted my friend as he was talking and asked him to get me a glass of water. I didn't feel better drinking it so we went outside I just tried to rush out as quickly as I could because I knew I'd just collapse any second and didn't want that to happen inside with so many eyes watching. I barely got out the door when my legs gave in and I collapsed somewhat controlled and sat down right in front of the door. It got better with the cold air outside, my friend got me a chocolate bar and I got clearer and clearer.

What happened yesterday didn't scare me, although it could have been really bad had it happened when I was alone and standing up. I'm generally in great physical health. This has happened in my life like 6-7 times, although the last time was probably like 9 years ago. In school, I once just dropped while standing up. Back then I got tested for everything and nothing was found.

The last couple of years have been hell for me. I'm 31 and feel like a complete loser. I have decent education, even some money but am unemployed at the moment. My mental health is absolute fucked and I basically just suffer all day, looking back at my shitty lonely life and seeing no future for myself. Of course, my body made me do the things necessary to feel better yesterday instead of just letting it happen, but honestly, I wouldn't have been sad if that would just have been it yesterday. I wouldn't have had to do it myself, no guilt, no fear, no trauma on the person who finds me, just an ambulance being called to a bar...

I 30 year-old female was married to my current husband for 7 years. It was an arranged marriage due to cultural aspects.

There’s an engagement phase where we get to know each other before we actually move in together, mind you even in this phase we are considered a married couple in the eyes of the law.

Since the beginning I noticed that we are completely different people and we’re not compatible at all on any level, emotionally, intellectually, the way we see life, we have nothing in common, in my eyes I can’t even be friends with this guy! I dreaded his visits because we had nothing to talk about!

I told my parents this and they were angry and reactive and the fact that I didn’t mention a clear “flaw” they didn’t accept my decision of leaving him. I finally gave in due to pressure and lack of options.

Now after 7 years, nothing has changed, I still dream of divorce I still blame my parents and myself for not being strong enough to end this before it became more complicated.

One thing I should mention, my husband is very loving and a great father, he is a family man and cares a lot about us.

But that didn’t compensate for the gap between us. We can’t even talk to each other and whenever we do we always fight because he has a really bad temper.

From outside my life seems perfect and peaceful, but since the time I got married I became depressed and I couldn’t and still can’t enjoy anything in life, it feels like my life has ended 7 years ago.

Does anyone have a similar experience?

My girlfriends childish. I don’t mean this like she has bad manners or throws tantrums every 5 minutes. She’s pretty smart and very kind, she also has autism. What I mean when I say childish is just that she often can resemble a child or do childish stuff. She often talks in a baby voice (idk if it’s intentional or not) watches kid shows, has an adult pacifier and sometimes act very dependent. I know she never really got to live her childhood, which is definitely why she’s like this. I still love her more than anything, but sometimes those traits get annoying

My wife has been unemployed for the last two years. She spent the last two months going through five of seven (!) rounds of interviews. Found out today she didn't move forward into round six. She's gutted

I genuinely can’t tell if I’m overreacting or if this situation would make anyone else feel weird too.

My ex has been talking about wanting to be friends again because we “have a great friend connection,” and honestly part of me wants that too. But at the same time she’s getting close with someone I spent YEARS trying really hard to be friends with, and apparently this girl had issues with me the whole time that were never actually communicated to me directly.

The thing is we weren’t even insanely close friends, which almost makes it feel weirder. She was just someone whose friendship/approval I really valued, and she saw firsthand how much I agonized over my relationship and everything surrounding it. So now finding out years later that she seemingly viewed me negatively the entire time just feels kinda shitty and petty to process.

And what’s bothering me isn’t even “you can’t be friends with her.” People can do whatever they want. It’s more that I’m struggling with the disconnect of someone saying they care about me and want friendship with me while also getting close with someone who apparently never liked me and discussing me in spaces where I’m clearly viewed negatively.

Like you watched me emotionally spiral over this relationship for years. You know how I operate. So it’s hard for me not to feel uncomfortable or a little emotionally unsafe with all of this.

I know I haven’t always been the best version of myself and I’m genuinely trying to heal and move forward and do right by people. I’ve fully stepped away and tried to be respectful. I think that’s why this whole thing irritates me so much. It makes me feel like I’m being defined forever by the worst and most emotional period of my life.

Idk. Maybe I’m overexplaining. I just needed to get this out somewhere.

I just cannot cope with it. I literally wasted 20+ years of my life. No friends, no dating, no experience. Those years are supposed to be the best of your life but they were hell for me. And the worst part is that I didn't do anything during this time. I have no skills, no hobbies or anything interesting about me. I wish I had picked up something like drawing, playing an instrument or anything. I feel so depressed when I see all those talented people around me and on the internet.

I was (and I'm still) a loser and a loner. Now I'm 27 and I just don't see the point in continuing. I will never be able to get back those years. I will never know what it feels like to have a first dating experience, travel across the world with a backpack staying at hostels, party at uni and so on. I could still be doing some of that but it would just be ridiculous. Whenever I see younger people, I can't help but be jealous of them. Thinking about how much time they still have and how they are living the best years of their lives.

The only good thing is that I have a stable job. Not well paid but at least it pays the bills. That's the only thing I'm grateful for.

I wish life was like a video game and there was a "restart" button. It's so painful to know that there is literally NOTHING you can do about something. Nothing. All I can do is move forward but I don't think I will ever be able to.

pls help i nave no where else to go

the nhs contacted my parents over my ADHD and OCD diagnoses (i’m going through them now)
i specifically said not to contact them. it’s probs my fault since my dads number might be linked to my gp name

but on the bromley talking therapies app i didn’t put their number when self referring i have no contact info for it, just my number and my email.
yet they only contacted my dad?????? not me??????

i am 18 as well, the whole reason i wanted to do this now and not when i was younger was because i don’t need my parents. i’ve been struggling a lot since i was 11/12 i had done multiple attempts because of it - they weren’t massive ones but i did have to get my stomach pumped for one

they don’t believe in mental health, they never have they refuse me to go to a doctor, even tho i live in the UK the culture is massive in my family. when i attempted they would console me the day after but when i want to talk my mum calls me an attention seeker, my dad tries to help but only to an extent. as some point he gets angry bc i dotn want to talk and slams doors.

my suspected ocd is super painful, my intrusive thoughts are 24/7 about sexual thoughts or about harm which make me cry and had panic attack talking about it to my gp. i don’t think it was my gps fault she was really nice and wrote that my parents aren’t involved. if my parents find out about this, i will get into a lot of trouble purity culture is a massive thing in my family, i’ve been hit before because of just talking yo a man(i was kind of with him but i never told him that) also every day since i’m going uni this year told that if i’m pregnant or engage in sex i’m no longer their daughter, i lose all worth. this effects me a lot even in relationships i can’t do certain things

they aren’t abusive and haven’t hit me for a while only when i’ve done something wrong, but if this comes out idk what will happen. i have no friends anymore bc of these issues i had a complete meltdown around a year ago so i have no one else to rely on, my half brother knows abt my adhd referral but he understand i don’t like talking about it, he doesn’t live with me

this has seriously effected my a level resits, i can’t concentrate and am now cramming in the next two weeks for maths. i could have gone uni but i wanted better grades and also to sort this out so i stayed home another year

i deleted all the texts from my dads phone he let me do so, i’m guessing he dooesnt want to overstep. my mum is the opposite tho, mocking me when i’m crying etc i’m really self conscious about the way i look when crying to i was screaming at them telling them to not get involved either my business. i’m now locked up in my room i’m too scared to talk they wont talk to me either

**since i missed my calls about my referral is my place gone, i really neeed help asap with diagnoses and i’m scared about how my family’s reacting now!!!!!!**

And I don't think I'm sorry about it.

I'm not going to go into everything, but l've been keeping a spreadsheet of tasks at my job for the past 4 months. How many times we do them per shift, what is expected per shift, the minimum/ maximum/ and average times of each. With the total average time it equals well over 32 hours of tasks needed done per 12 hour shift.

And each shift only has one person per crew, not counting when there are trainees (rare).

It goes against Union policy. Me and my workers have been run into the ground for weeks. I got told to "manage my time" better. So I did. I managed my time and kept a spreadsheet then found within one day that the amount we're expected to do is over 12 hours per person assigned to the crew, including when there are trainees. Just a bit of malicious compliance. If the fallout is interesting, ! may make a post about it on that subreddit.

I sent the email with my spreadsheet off to the Union reps today and I'm extremely anxious about it blowing up in my face. But at this point, I kind of don't care. I love my job, don't get me wrong, but we're all exhausted and have eyebags for days. l've lost a ton of weight going from around 180 pounds to 150 from the manual work alone.
Everyone is stressed. Pretty much the only things talked about during shift change is what bullshit happened on the job that shift and what mess to expect/is left over.

One person per crew is ridiculous and should have two permanently at the very least. All together, written out per the 4 machines and 7 areas we have to do tasks in, there are 108 different task that take anywhere from 5 minutes to 4 hours that we have to keep up on. That is not including time traveled to each, but how long the task itself takes.

The jobs above mine do far less work for way more pay. I pass by them several times a shift and most of the time they're sitting around waiting for their next gig.

I'm hoping this will help. I'm hoping we'll be allowed the people we need and the pay we deserve. Wish me luck!