I want absolutely nothing to do with my sister ever again.
My sister is a few years younger than I am. I am the oldest daughter. This girl is one of the most self serving individuals I have ever had the displeasure of encountering in my life. She has some of the nastiest yet sneakiest traits and yet when I call them out, I’m called “sensitive”. I’ve honestly had enough of her and I refuse to interact with her at all at this point because it very clear if you are not providing what she wants, she’s treats you like trash.
Recently, we all had to take a trip. And for whatever reason she wanted to bring her boyfriend. It’s a family trip, and none of us has even met him. They’ve only been going out for few months.
The accommodations were a little tight so it was decided she and him would be staying in an Airbnb. All of a sudden she messaged me in the night a few weeks before the trip saying that she needs the room I’m staying in. I have to find somewhere else to sleep for 3 days because she has to do and needs the room because it would make it convenient for her. I told her no. The room im staying in, was our grandmother room. She passed one year ago, so I was extremely uncomfortable with her and hey boyfriend in the room. I’m not saying they are doing anything inappropriate but our grandmother (and everyone else law who lives on that property) has NEVER met him. it’s just weird.
Iregardless, I told her no. When I tried to explain it she cut me off and said “I don’t like to hear people explain themselves. If it’s no, then it’s no”. I was kinda floored because you don’t want to try to work something out? There were options but if it wasn’t her and him in a room together she didn’t want it. As I was trying to figure it out with her, she hung up the phone on me. I was super shocked by it. She texted me later saying that it’s a bad habit of hers and she trying to do better, in reference to her hanging up on me. I didn’t respond until a few hours later with “I get it”
Cue to a few days later. I was watching a video on TikTok that was talking about narcissistic traits and the type of people you might encounter that will try to use them on you. And of course the two examples they used are parents and romantic relationships. The TikTok is 3:44 long. I sent it to a few people because I recently had to deal with a narcissist friendship and work bullying situation so I found the video very informative.
My dear, *dear sister…* cut the video down to 1:21 and sent it our mother. Obviously that had the reaction you would think if your sibling basically told your parent that “hey so and so thinks your a narcissist!”. It opened up a can of problems that I’ve been dealing with for an over a month. My mother basically started to ignore me and then I when I reached out to her (my sister) she sat on her high horse and spoke down to me. “You can’t say that about her”. “She’s a single mom”. “She worked hard for us”. Never once, I did I EVER say it was about our mother. Never even insinuated it, however that didn’t stop her from presenting it that way. I called her 18 times over the phone. She refused to pick up. I had to then text her to get a response out of her. She played the card of “I’m your sister and I care but this wasn’t right” and when I asked her “when did I ever say this was about our mom?” She deflected and said “the first 30 seconds is damning”. After a litany of voice notes back and forth, she sent one saying “wrong is wrong and right is right and two things can be correct at the same time. I love and care about you so if you want someone to blame, you can blame me but you need to work out the resentment you have I. Your heart against our mom”
When I tell you all that I was floored. I have full messages that she had sent me saying VERBATIM. “She is a bitter baby mother” yet I am the one with resentment? Riiiight….right.
And then after that last message she proceed to block me through messages and on TikTok. So I said “cool”. And blocked her on EVERYTHING. This has been a tactic of hers since we were kids. If something or someone isn’t doing what she wants then she drops them or punishes them in some sort of way. I’m over it. I’ve tried my whole life to understand her but now I’m done. Just because I told her no, she is going to ruin the relationship I have with our mother? To me, that’s insane.
Now fast forward to the trip. She’s the last to arrive and of course she wants us to pick her up from the airport. That’s fine. Except, we landed about 8-9 hours before she did so they all decided to hang out around town for her flight to land so we all drive back together.
Except, her flight got delayed. So we had to hang out in town until 12pm cause her flight was supposed to get it at like 8pm. And she sat and tried to say that it was hard travelling for 12 hours. Like we didn’t all wait for her with all our luggage dragging behind us. I understand the flight being delayed wasn’t her fault however her wanting us to pick her up and not being forthcoming with her flights details caused this. If she had just told what freaking airline she’s on would could have been watching it and just went home and drive up to get her but no. She only told us when it was supposed to get there and they basically had to pry the information out of her.
Now she’s on the trip and trying to talk to me like it hasn’t been WEEKS since she blocked me and I blocked her on everything. I ignored her. I have nothing to say to someone who will twist the truth to get what they want. She complained to our mom that I wasn’t speaking to her. So our mom basically chastised me for not speaking to her and that I should forgive and forget because we are family and we are all that we have to each other. I told my mom no. This is something that woman has done multiple times in her life and to me and I’m done with it.
That girl literally talks down to me like I’m below her. Honestly, it’s better to say she talks to me like I’m an untrained, unruly dog. She constantly talks and belittles about my looks, the fact I’m single, my hair, my clothing, everything. She constantly finds ways to make it seem like I’m dumb in conversations and I’ve snapped on her multiple times about that. For example, her and I were on a trip together and my back was hurting so I kept reaching behind me to rub down my spine. She then says something adjacent to “stop scratching your ass”, I started to explain to her that my back hurts and I’m doing that to get the muscles to relax, I started to mimic the motion action to show that I was in fact not going to town down the middle of my ass crack in the middle of freaking Magic Kingdom, she cut me off mid sentence and said “SEE! your scratching right now!” With this grin on her face that said ‘caught you in a lie’. I almost started to yell at her that day because why you cut me off as I’m explaining something to you? And on top of that, it’s in a strongly made effort to make me look like I’m an idiot?
The relationship between my mom and I has gone to dogs too. It’s never gonna be the same again. My “sister” effectively ruined my relationship with my mom over a man. And the kicker? He couldn’t get the time off from his job to even come on the trip. So, she imploded my life at her own convenience and when she realized “oh! It worked out another way” she crawling back expecting me to what? Roll over and wag my tail?
The last I checked, I was born a human being. Just like her. So it confuddled me how she thought she could just….waltz back in? No apology? No made effort of remorse? Just a continuation as if nothing ever happened in the first place?
In the past? I would have done that. Just let it go and let bygones be bygones but not this time. That was my mistake of allowing her to let her think that I was this indestructible, all giving, all forgiving creature whose sole purpose in life it make hers easier. Im not that. Im my own person with my own feelings and problems and wants and desires. Im not a tool for anyone. Especially her. I don’t want anything to do with her.
If she could do this to me just because I wasn’t moving to her wishes, what else could she do in the future, if , I were to forgive her.
What if I have children and she asks something of me and I tell her no, is she going to call CPS and make a fake report on me? Is she gonna call the police and lie about me or my future partner?
If that’s the person she is, then I want NOTHING to do with her. To lie and manipulate to get what you want tells me you have no consideration for anyone in your life.