Trans & Non-Binary

Obviously cis guys can grow neck beards too but every trans guy i know gets beard growth under our chin way before anything else? Ive had a mustache i like for awhile but I just started getting a neck beard im shaving off everyday 😭

The difference between how cis men treat me vs cis women is astonishing. Yes I know 90% of cis people in general usually have issues with trans people or trans issues, but cis women seem to treat me so much better than cis men by far.

To be upfront, I don't pass and I am very, very far away from passing, I'd need FFS and multiple other surgeries. But I have managed to improve my appearance somewhat over the years to be a bit more feminine than before. And people have seemed to have noticed this.

Cis women will see me, and address me with things like "sweetie" or "honey." and generally stuff that I'd imagine they would call other women. They obviously know I'm a trans woman, but they atleast acknowledge my presentation and don't lump me in with men, and address me in a feminine manner

99% of cis men I've met will try to forcibly throw me into the men category. It's pretty clear that I'm not a cis guy and they refuse to acknowledge that. With cis men, it's always "bud" and "dude" etc. Calling me by masculine terms all the time. It's not even atleast a situation where they just don't gender me, they constantly gender me male every sentence they can. Cis women do this sometimes do, but not even half as much as men do this.

So yeah, men suck. I don't like them.

Hi all, I have a nibling who, in the last year, came out as nonbinary. For context, they turned 12 last week. They also came out as agender a couple of weeks ago. Which I believe falls under the nonbinary umbrella (pls correct me if I'm wrong. I don't know much about it.)

Their parents are trying to be supportive with "you can be whoever or whatever you want to be" though they still misgender their kiddo. However, it has gotten to the point that being agender and being a therian are all they want to talk about. My sister said that they are so hyperfixated on those two things that they rarely talk about anything else. My sister and the nibling's dad say that those topics have become their kid's entire identity.

As the queer adult in their life, I am as supportive as I can be while living in another state. My nibling was supposed to come stay the night with me this week, but I could never get ahold of their dad and my sister wasn't responding to any of the texts I sent her about it as well. Finally I just called my sister yesterday evening to ask if my nibling could come stay the night. She said that right now neither she, nor the dad want their kid spending time with me because they know I will talk about queer stuff with their kid (their dad literally said I'm grooming them) and they are hoping to get their kid to focus on something else in their life. Apparently they are getting bullied about it at school so it has become a thing my sister and the dad are genuinely worried about. Which I understand as a legitimate worry. It's summer break and they're hoping that the time away from school, and no screen time will help them focus on something that *isn't* being queer or being a therian.

When I told my fiance about the convo with my sister he suggested that when my sister is ready I can drive up and spend the night. He also pointed out that as the queer adult in my nibling's life I can also be the one to help them understand that, yes being queer is a big part of our lives but it doesn't have to be our entire life. My sister said she loves the idea, and that she's really glad that I can someone they can look to for things like being queer.

Anyways, do you all have any suggestions to help me/their parents get my nibling to focus on something that isn't those two things?

I've been on hormones for a few years now, and early on I fell into that way of thinking that transitioning wouldn't work out for me, so I would just live as a guy and continue taking hormones. This is something I'm working on in therapy.

So I went out a few nights ago and was talking to a couple women, and one of them asked me directly if I had ever been mistaken for a trans woman. I told her no because as far as I've known, the answer has always been no. Later, she also said that she wasn't sure if I was a trans woman or a pretty cis man.

I haven't come out to anyone in my life other than my therapist, including friends or family, but there are a few other trans people I see semi-regularly (that I'm also not out to). I've told them about what happened with this woman and asked them if I had ever registered as being trans to them. Apparently I had and I had no idea. I guess it makes sense that trans people would be able to look at me and guess that I take hormones, but even some cis people seemed surprised to hear me say that I wasn't.

And now, for the past few days I've been stuck in this state of being confused and frustrated with myself because I clearly can't see what other people evidently can see. I can understand seeing me as a more effeminate guy, which is fine, and it doesn't necessarily bother me that I'm being read as a trans woman, but I'm so upset at myself for not being able to see it. I've just been screaming internally, asking why am I being seen as a trans woman, and why is pretty the word people have used to describe me because I. Can't. Fucking. See. It.

I'm definitely not non-binary, but I don't feel comfortable totally decked out in women's clothing and full makeup right now, specifically because I haven't had the FFS that I absolutely want. I think I'll get braver as time goes on, but I haven't even gotten laser for my face yet, so there's no way I pass.

All that being said... I look fucking good. People want to talk to me, I get hit on by both men and women, and I feel confident when I leave the house (in fact, confidence is my charm, I'm not like a model or something, by any means!) Yeah, there's transphobes everywhere, and that sucks, but it's not gonna change anytime soon. Any fear I am feeling goes away when someone smiles at me or talks to me like a human being.

I hope people here can find a way to stop letting the phobes win. They take up too much real estate in everyone's heads. I know things are bad, but there ARE wins, whether it's a state that rejects transphobic legislation or a bad guy who gets arrested, or even just putting on your make up and going, "fuck yeah, bitch, you are hot," on a minimally dysphoric day.

You can't treat every moment of your life as a loss or you'll lose your mind, and that's no good for anybody! 😘

I am a 23 trans girl been socially transitioning for over a year now. I'm not on E and I'm scared to even start cause my dad is convinced it would absolutely wreck my health and he's made me doubt myself. But that's not what I'm here to talk about.

I'm trying to get my life together and get into healthier habits and one of the habits I wanna do is weight training. I love feeling strong and lifting heavy things and I wanna do that but I'm afraid I'll develop the gym bro physique and not be able to even look feminine anymore. I feel restricted and afraid to do exercises like bench press, shoulder workouts, bicep curls and stuff which are my favourite exercises. Any advice? I don't know what to do. I just wanna weight train like a normal person but still be feminine. I don't wanna be a gym bro :(

This is not ment negatively in any way. I just don't really understand the purpose of that term and I am honestly curious why people use it as a self description.

If trans women are women, and women who love women (and not men) are lesbians, why is there a special term for lesbians who are trans women. This is super counterintuitive for my autistic brain.

I can understand that there might be occasions where it make sense to have a special term to show that you are a trans lesbian (and people like to shorten things). But I see transbian quite often as a self description, e.g. in trans inclusive lesbian subs. And that is really confusing for me.

Aren't we all just women?

i’ve been on testosterone for almost five months now, bottom growth has of course happened, but i haven’t noticed any erections or anything. libido is higher and stuff but is it like… a feeling? something physically noticeable? cause i haven’t seen anything. very sad

So I’m a 21 year old nonbinary transmasc pre everything except socially transitioning. My hair is short, I bind daily, I go by a male name and pronouns, etcetera and so forth. But I’m also in biological sciences. I want to study Forest entomology and pathology to assist landowners with their forest health issues. I’ve been working so hard in university becoming the top of my class for my bachelors (graduating with a 3.99 GPA and As in all my graduate-level classes), worked in research labs, published a paper, ran several student organisations, and performed hundreds of hours in volunteer work. I’ve won a UDSA research grant AND won an award at a national conference for my research. Hell, I scored a research scholarship in a different country for crying out loud. But after all this, people still don’t take me seriously.

Of the five labs I’ve worked in (both in summer and during the school year), only one of them has treated me like an actual human person. Every other lab I’ve worked in has either barely acknowledged my existence or genuinely harassed me. The head of the lab I won an award for told me that even after that win, he would never provide me a letter of recommendation. My boss in another lab called me “utterly incompetent and impossible to work with.” My boss in my current lab constantly “corrects” me over minor things and never criticises anyone else for doing the exact same things.

I know it’s for a fact that I’m always the only trans person in the room. Hell, I’m often the only visibly queer person in the room as well. It’s been really eating at my self worth for some time because even if I could transition at this time, I would probably be mocked and judged by these same people and/or wouldn’t be able to find any work in my field until I started passing. I love doing science. I love working in forestry and field work. I love doing this kind of thing, but I’m actively inhibited by the fact that I’m transgender. I just don’t even know what to do anymore because nothing that I do is ever enough for these people.

I know this is all probably pretty niche for a lot of people on here, but does anyone have any advice?

Okay so I know it's a bit silly but one of the things that confirmed to me that I am trans is wanting a BOWL CUT, out of all haircuts, for ages, and in fact still do... (I AM GETTING THAT DAMN BOWL CUT AND NOBODY IS STOPPING ME.)

Anyway, I wanted to know what are /ftm funny things that made you guys "man I'm such a dude, bro"

I am actually losing my mind right now.

I just celebrated 1 yr on T a couple days ago, and my T levels are in the 500’s which is higher than before. I have not had my period basically the entire time I’ve been on T. I thought I was done with this.
I just woke up and- THERE IT IS-

I feel guilty and ashamed, like I’m doing something wrong. Is it possible that drinking coffee raised my estrogen levels this high? I don’t really like to believe that eating certain foods affects hormone levels to that extent (especially because I already have an ED)

What the heck is going on??

Hello,

I came across a few pictures of results of liposuccion/body contouring/masculinization surgery. They are pretty amazing; but I am wondering if such results would be achievable with exercise and hormones alone. i have been 2 years and a half on hormones, i am fairly lean 167cm and 61kgs, but i am still unhappy with my silhouette. can someone give me some opinion? thanks

*trigger warning for passing*

Like here on Reddit there are so many people posting selfies asking"do I pass" or "how do I look" and then the comments are all supporting them being overly sweet, however I saw the pictures and I just think, they don't pass, they look like men playing dress up and it makes me feel sick, like I respect them so much for being their true selves and I aspire to be like them, but it makes me feel scared, for me to be who I want, I need to go through that might stage, it scares me more then anything in the world and idk what to do. I'm 17 turning 18 in 3 months, so I have freedom for informed consent very soon but idk what to do

A couple days ago I found a lump in my breast and had a bit of a freak out worrying about the big C.

Now not having been raised as a woman, no one had taught me about what it could be or the likelihood of it being something bad. I spiralled for a while worrying about if I would need to remove my breasts in prevention or other drastic thoughts.

My doctor believes it is just a benign cyst and I have a ultrasound to confirm.

I guess what my point is, are there any gaps in your knowledge that are a given to most people brought up as women? Like passed on from mothers, friends, medical professionals

I am so sorry, i just always end up making posts about my situation and delete them because of my mental health. I'm that trans woman who her muslim parents yk tried to kill me literally and they are going to this time for real and they are going to get me wherever i go (living in an arab country not the us) and they are utterly serious about it. I'm so sorry for not elaborating and clarifying about my situation more, i am beyond depressed and i pushed myself so hard to just make this post and i still feel so worthless for doing it but all i can say is that i only have some handeful days in my hands before they find out everything and they are going to do it..... i really tried every possible method to leave the country for years and all of them failed in my face, im in that situation because they all failed in the first place. I wasnt willing to make this post at all but i pushed myself, for my fiancé. I need to stay alive for him. I don't know what do. I am extremely scared but trying to hold myself as much as i can for him. I just dont know. I really dont. I will just try to sleep for now it's 4am and still awake as always...

Spoiler/NSFW due to medical talk and mental health stuff

I am/was in the process of starting hysterectomy route. I’ve been on T since 2021 and had top surgery in 2022. I was recently hospitalized for a few weeks in a psych ward after a breakdown and medication changes.

I was called by the gynecology office and I have to go to a behavioral health clinic and get full clearance by them. I live in Indiana a state notorious for being anti-trans. Did I just ruin my chances of getting a hysterectomy or am I freaking myself out? This is not me asking medical advice.

To be fair, I'll admit that I have tried getting over the addiction of watching porn for 5 years straight, it's been a huge struggle and was destroying my mind each time I tried to get rid of it.

Now, when I simply looked at it once more, I don't feel hard anymore, my sexual dopamine doesn't kick in and I feel rather dissapointed more than pleasured each time.

Is this because the amount of times I've released semen (pre-t) it just said "fuck this, this isn't healthy for you anymore." and decided to not make me into that addiction now? (15mtf)