I'm trans femme(most likely tho could be fluid or enby femme)but. Just wondered if anyone knows cause I know that if you don't have any dominant hormones you feel like shit. So what if reverse?
You often see online stuff like "Why are trans spaces so white?".
Statistically, most humans are not white. Even in countries like America, Britain, and Canada, millions of residents are not white. Assuming 1%-10% of the population is transgender, this means millions of trans people are POC.
So, there are a lot of trans people who are not white. They just aren't out in the same online spaces as white people.
Up until the late 2000s, trans men were seen as "rare" compared to trans women (and enbies were nonexistent). Studies show there are a pretty equal amount of trans men, trans women, and nonbinary people. Trans men just seemed like a minority for a variety of reasons.
Even on Reddit, you see people say trans men and enbies use the site less than trans women. But r/ftm and r/mtf are pretty much the same in terms of size. It's not that there are fewer trans men, but that they use different parts of the site.
I know a lot of transmasc people get uncomfortable with the major trans subs. So, there's often an alternative. r/ftm_irl or r/transmasc_irl instead of r/egg_irl, r/ftmtimelines instead of r/transtimelines, r/ftm instead of r/trans or r/asktransgender, etc.
Anecdotally, I find it fairly useless to ask nonbinary questions on r/asktransgender. Even transmasc related questions get fewer replies than transfemme ones. You're better off going to an enby or transmasc sub for questions.
Reddit itself, despite being the "front page of the internet", attracts specific demographics. Mainly English speakers (though there are large pockets of people who don't speak any English), mainly male, under 40, middle class or up, higher educated, left leaning, mainly white, into mainstream geek subcultures, etc.
IRL, I've seen and heard of just as many, if not more, brown, black, and Asian trans people then I have white trans people. They probably aren't lurking Reddit or Tumblr, though. And many aren't willing or interested in talking about being trans on Youtube or TikTok. Not everyone is gonna be Kat Blaque levels of out.
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Specially pills if that matters
It takes cis women like 14 years to grow breasts. Be patient with urself :)
Stay beautiful :D
To anybody out there that still lives with their parents, I hope this can offer some confidence that you can still get bottom surgery while not having settled down away. I think a big part of the success of this was that I have older siblings who do have their own places and could do WFH for a few days.
I (22 MTF) recently graduated college and had savings from a part time job I did, as well as asked my older siblings for financial help. I had my consultation for SRS online during my senior year, and then when I graduated I went to the city of my surgery with a 1 month airbnb, which was ~$5K (it is super important to spend 2 months away before returning home), and got my siblings to pay for it. I lied and told my parents I was still working on a project at my university. My surgery was covered by insurance, which I paid for ($5K).
Oh also, definitely do the USPS address redirection so your parents don’t see your prior authorizations that get mailed to your home address if you’re on their insurance (I am).
I got my brother to take 2 weeks WFH and stay with me in my airbnb for my initial recovery (i was discharged after 1 day in the hospital). I was basically bedridden the first two weeks and could only take 10 steps at most, we had to get a portable toilet, he had to constantly empty my catheter bag, etc. I got my sister to stay with me for the second 2 weeks and by then I was able to walk to the bathroom. For the first two post-ops (I had weekly post-ops), we ordered medical transportation to get there and back since I couldn’t climb stairs, and they have a chair that can get you up and down stairs.
They both cooked all the food, etc. week 3 i got sepsis because my catheter had given me a UTI which spread to my kidneys, and had to spend a week in the hospital. I was discharged and soon after, my airbnb was up.
I was planning on returning home at this point but because I was still limping and struggled with stairs, I opted to spend 10 days with my sister (3 hour flight, tons of pain meds and buying a whole row got me through it), and 2 weeks with my brother (4 hour flight, first class with pain meds and was ok). Compression socks were helpful during the flights as I was swelling.
During the stay with my sister, we tried to go the park daily so I could gradually get up to 3,000 steps per day. During the stay with my brother I tried to go the city every day and got up to 10,000 steps per day within a week (this was really important in getting me in shape after being bedridden). I told my parents I was visiting my siblings because I missed them. They weren’t aware my siblings were with me during my first month of recovery (they told my parents they were on vacation, visiting friends, work trips).
At this point, I was 8 weeks post-op and able to climb stairs, walk (couldn’t run yet), so I flew home (5 hour flight, comfort+ seat, pain meds, but there was turbulence and I got extremely nauseous because of my meds, and because they only last 4-6 hours, in the last hour of the flight the meds wore off I was having a few sharp pains).
I’m actually at this point right now, and have been dilating twice a day, once right after my parents fall asleep (~12 AM), and once when I wake up (~12 PM) for two days so far. I lied to the rest of my family (one brother, both parents), that I had back pain from tripping on a sidewalk as a cover since I can’t run/workout. They have no idea I got the surgery, and I will be staying with them until I go to grad school!
I (23F) finally settled on what i’d like my female name to be, My name is now Jade! I was wanting a name that started with J, Julia, Jade, Jessica. Jordyn, And randomly Madi were all names I was thinking about but I like the shortness and simplicity of the name Jade and I feel it sounds pretty 🤩, I’m so happy with how my journey has began and is going. This community is so supportive and amazing in so many ways, pat yourselves on the back. 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
So long story short, a couple weeks ago I (26MtF) finally accepted myself after repressing myself for a long time and last week I talked to my wife (34F) about how I feel and that I think I want to transition. She did not take it well to put it simply and it was mostly religious views about how being Trans is a sin. Her main I guess argument was that trans (and all LGBT people) can choose to not engage with being LGBT but "choose God" and force themselves to not be LGBT. I already felt like that argument was coming from a weird place as she's always been accepting of others even if it's been in ignorant ways that are kinda LGBT phobic.
Well since then we both cooled down and tried to talk without the fiery emotions that we had the first couple times we talked and she has made it clear that my transitioning would end our relationship she never said it was because she doesn't want to be in a relationship with a woman or anything like that. It has always been this very odd religious "you need to choose God" view. Last night we talked again and she asked to try and explain why I want to transition, even saying that if I need to explore my feminine side more without transitioning that she would be okay with that, and I tried to have her understanding the best way I could think by having her imagine waking up in a guy's body but still knowing that she's a woman. She was having a hard time with it, saying how she'd be okay with it and stuff so finally I asked her "If you could press a button right now to change your body to a guy's, would you press it?" After probably 2 or 3 minutes of thinking she said she would not press it right now.
This led to us talking more about how she felt and finally she admitted that growing up she wanted to be a guy, and didn't like how her body changed and grew. But her parents always said that she is a girl and that's what God wants her to be. She said she eventually decided that she would accept living as a woman and that doing so was "choosing God" over her own wants. She refused to admit or accept that she still has those feelings still but later as we sat there she very quietly said that they are not often and she can push them down.
I really think she may be Trans and has repressed it so long and put so much religious pressure on herself she can't accept it and her sudden transphobia to me is because she can't accept herself and is hurt that I accepted myself. I want to help her but I don't know how, especially because I know that I need to transition and that the sooner I start the more likely she will push me away. What do I do? Do I help her, if so how?
holy shit im so happy :3
im wearing a long white skirt and its so spinnyyyyy, and a knitted cream jumper (it is summer and its warm but its so cute so i can take the heat lol) and some braclets and a necklace
my hair is also really nice and long and also i just shaved and im tucked (sorry if tmi)
IVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY I LOVE GENDER EUPHORIA :3
like i actually dont know how im going to go back to dressing masc after this :(
I'm having my bottom surgery tomorrow. I'm both scared and nervous. It also sucks because I can't eat any solid foods until after the surgery is done starting today. So yeah, my stomach hurts. I can eat jello and popsicles, so that's what I'm doing. Anyway, wish me luck for tomorrow! Ahhh, I'm so excited!!
I mean I've just been looking at a lotta discourse through the internet, like I'm not on hrt or anything currently, but kinda just to evaluate stuff yk, that what works and what doesn't. And this is a point that does coming back and back, so I wanted to ask dat.
I don’t have any relevant body of text to add. I’m just genuinely curious because I’ve been seeing this a lot and I’m looking to be informed. I’m not trying to be malicious at all. I’m genuinely trying to understand how transphobia affects cis women as well, because I don’t think I fully understand that part of the conversation.
Told my wife over the weekend I was trans.
Actually, I tried to soften it and said I was discussing gender identity and exploring if I was trans with my therapist.
After a big discussion where she started with "if you are trans, we're done" and ended with "I hope you don't transition, you'd make an ugly woman" and a lot of questions about whether my therapist made me trans, she moved out today while I was at work.
She text me this evening to say she's going to take at least a month in her parents house as it's too difficult to be in the same house.
I don't think I'm looking for advice, I'm just a bit sad and lost.
I knew it wasn't going to go well, and I've been building up to this for nearly a year, but it's still very tough to go through. :(
for context: I've been out for 4 years, I transitioned socially everywhere at the beggining and started HRT this year.
My mum is an abusive piece of shit, but since I moved out, I hoped for a better relationship with her since she has been more bearable since I moved out. She has never accepted me, actively avoided using my preffered pronouns, name, got all quiet and pissy every time I talked about my identity. Confronted, she said she "needs more time" and "it's difficult for her", after every attempt I made to educate and encourage her. I hoped she will get over it and we will have a relationship.
Well, yesterday I finally buried all that hope. Since starting HRT, it's been harder for her to ignore all the changes (with which I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT!! that voice?? moustache??? hell yeah brother), so now every talk meanders back to my gender identity. It happened yesterday and she finally said something that made me give up. She "supports" me (I don't have to tell you she does not), but it's "hard for her" since she sees I'm "living a lie", because she "gave birth to a daughter". I asked her if she values being "right" more than she values supporting me. She did not answer.
She said some of those things before, I don't know why it hit me like this just now. Maybe it's because I can see her
relationship with my stepsister, maybe the isolation I feel in this "family" finally became unbereable. There is nothing to be done about it. There is no chance for a fair relationship with her, it will always end up in me having to put myself down for her. It's just how she is. I'm going to get independent as soon as I can and cut her out completely.
Idk if celebration is the right flair but wanted to share this.
For the people who don't know, last week my dad took my T and for more info you can probably read it somewhere on my page.
Today my dad came into my room and told me that he has the feeling that i gotten more angry/ frustrated lately, which i responded with that it has its reason and told him it's still about the T.
Because of you and my friends i could give him a logical reason why i am mad (which im so thankful for because when it happened i didn't have reasons to not give it to him) and even asked why his doc didn't prescribe him anything
Reason being he didn't have time to get everything done in Egypt, because he went back hom. Which i told him to just finish the tests and let his doc prescribe him something if its so severe.
End of the story, i got my T back 😋
Still mad at him tho and lowkey gonna be glad once he leaves for work again because hes been on my nerves too much.
But yeah, happy end 🙏
Honestly just really disappointed at the people in the community who use the word theyfab and think it has any meaning other than just plain transphobia. Someone said I am disrespecting trans woman by saying that word is disgusting bc its "apart of their culture." And I just know that is 100% wrong. It is not engrained into trans woman's culture. Hell I have seen many trans woman be called it by other trans people as an insult. I don't understand why some people are acting like this is some popular word every trans woman uses. Assuming every trans woman would use a gross term like that is extremely disrespectful to me. Some peoples excuse is "we only use it against toxic ppl in the community" (like the queer collective, which i actually could make a whole post dedicated to the enbyphobia that stemmed from that controversy but that's another story) but that is not true is it? Because It has been used against me many times just because I wear makeup as a trans guy. Please, people who have this word in your vocab and use it regularly, just think about it for a second and how this effects everyone, not just the "toxic people" you are using it against. Its a gross word and should be in no ones vocab. Can we all just be a little nicer to each other? <3
EDIT: for those of u who dont know what theyfab means and dont want to scroll for the answer: its basically a derogatory term made for afab non binary ppl (ik i dont like that language either) but its usage does not stop there. trans ppl will use it against anyone they disagree with or anyone who doesnt seem trans enough to them. its a disgusting thing to call someone
I am a 20 year old Trans girl who has been transitioning since HS, and I am a Junior in college now.
I have always wanted to join Greek life and with the encouragement of my best friend who was once a part of the sorority I was trying to join, I felt like I making good progress towards becoming more feminine and making more friends with some more women.
So I started going to rush events and things were not terrible! I was able to hold some conversation and was actually getting along pretty well with the girls, I felt included. There were some events where I was kinda just alone and didn't really have anyone to talk to but I still made the effort to show up.
Now I was actually invited to preference (which is just you formally saying you really like this sorority and want to join)
This was my last formal introduction and hangout with that sorority and it was super heart touching and I had an actual really good time.
But now bud week came and went and I'm just having to come to terms that despite how much I thought I got along, I just wouldn't be picked and I mostly blame me being trans as the culprit.
It's stupid but discrimination still happens even if I'm 'accepted' so there really is no winning.
I'm just so heartbroken and feel like the weeks of effort I put in has come to this. While I still can technically get a bid my hopes aren't high.
Like I know I shouldn't expect anything, but to me this was more saying that I was finally accepted as a real woman find my peers and would be able to actually make some more friends.
Sorry this is very ranty, I just have a lot on my mind and just kind of wanted somewhere to send my frustration and sadness and get anybody else's experience.
hello everyone. i'm 24 years old and i identify as a trans woman (she/her). i haven't started HRT yet, but will soon, and i don't plan on getting any sort of surgery.
i'm posting this with hopes that someone with a similar experience can give me some advice or share their own experience - but this is also a sort of venting post.
after coming out as a trans woman, i only had 1 or 2 sexual encounters with men, and in both times i was misgendered. i must also explain, for context, that i am very early in my transition (but i am publicly out), however i believe i have some feminine traits (like my long hair). i live in a small town so i have to resort to dating apps, mostly using that one gay dating app - you know which, because most people here are closeted, even the gay men.
with everything being already hard to achieve, previously to coming out i used to receive oral from gay men, and i liked it, but now it seems like it's not an option. the main issue is that i'm not being seen by men as a trans woman. so if i get oral now, i'm gonna feel weird about. it has nothing to do with validation from men btw.
the thing is, i really want to receive some oral, but i am not willing to omit the fact that i'm trans, or, to appear more "masc" in order to get it, even tho i have considered doing it.
So, I am currently 18M. I’ve always had thoughts along the lines of being transgender (always wishing I was a girl, etc) and, especially more recently, have embraced a more feminine side to myself, which includes crossdressing, makeup, and more.
Obviously, what you wear doesn’t necessarily dictate gender, but I have been considering actually being a girl more and more.
The main thing that set off this string of dominoes was one time at a party where a friend referred to me as “one of the girls,” which lead to an overwhelming feeling of happiness.
So, I need to ask. Does this actually mean I’m trans?
I’ve always wanted to be a girl, rejected any masculinity, and being affirmed feels amazing, so how can I actually tell?
Also, if I do prefer being trans but am fine either way, is it worth coming out of the closet? I know that I can’t transition any time soon (I go to an all-boys, mostly conservative school)
Sorry if any of this comes off as rude, that’s not my intention, I just want some more guidance from people who have been through what I have.
with how often trans people are talked about in politics and in media part of me expects cis people to have some understanding of why and how people transition
but again and again im shocked at how often they dont know what HRT is, or theyve never heard of gender dysphoria. a lot of them seem to think we just decide to change clothes one day for fun
idk, maybe if they understood even the basics we wouldnt be so bad off