r/trans

Today was our election day, and the right wing took most of the senate seats, and looks like Bolsonaro(the right wing candidate) will win the presidency on the second part of the election.

Although Brasil is the country that most kills, transgender people in the world, being trans here is not that difficult. Its easy to get access to treatment, to change documents, most people will treat you well, and we can use the bathrooms we feel most confortable at.

That will probably change now, with the right wing controlling the senate and the justice court(bolsonaro will name 4 new seats) they can revoke all that by 2030.

Ill be saving money to get out of here by them, Luckly im in a privileged position to do so(already passing and with a high paying job) but im afraid for every one of us here. It was good while it lasted.

Nobody:

Me: I am seriously jonesing about how much my body has changed in the past month after I started taking my estrogen tablets in the
“non-usual way“ (💊➡️🍑)

🤩

If butts had a cup size, I went from -A to a B+ in just a month. After years of specific muscle targeted weightlifting, I’m finally seeing massive progress in one month, versus the zero progress I’ve had in the past three years of taking estrogen. Didn’t change the amount. (8mg daily)
Just altered the method. It’s like flippin’ cheat codes. It’s taking an injection, but without the needle.

Things have gotten so bad in the past year globally, and now with US midterms coming up we’re being used as a pawn.

This week the actual pdf.file Matt Gaetz used the words, “I hate the war too. But the democrats want to trans your kids.” And it’s working. The same people who scream “protect the children” listen to this creep

It feels so absurd, like this whole thing is happening because the richest man in the world is running a campaign to wipe us out because he prefers that to loving his own daughter

I left Texas when HB 3817 picked up steam. It would have created the jail felony of “gender identity fraud,” which carried an automatic two year sentence for changing our gender marker. There is only one word I can think of that encapsulates the creation of a criminal class based on identity status alone. It’s the ugliest thing humans have ever created

I left friends and chosen family behind in hopes of finding a better life. I wanted to advocate for us from somewhere I thought people might want to help. But I only found the same transphobia, just wearing a disguise

Democrats are throwing us under the bus as collateral damage in hopes that it gets them elected. I’m no stranger to utilitarian ideas and know the GOP has to be stopped

It just hurts so much to be the sacrificial scapegoat

I used to know how to help. I decided to apply to medical school and make a career in service to our community. I made the grades, scored in the 95th percentile on the MCAT, volunteered in an LGBTQ clinic, and did public health research

I said “transgender” with my whole chest in the application process. I got rejected. I don’t know if I should try again

I work as a paramedic and that used to pay the rent due for my transness in the eyes of the phobes. I’m gentle and good at my craft. Five years ago it mattered

Now all they see is someone they fear. They don’t want me near their children, even if it’s critical. My coworkers don’t listen to a word I say. They don’t see my qualifications either. Only my transness

The only thing keeping me here is spite

What do we do to not feel so helpless?

I’m 44 and on friday i had no perspective for transition ever. Today is Monday and I’m looking for an endocrinologist ASAP! Wow! How did that happen? I have no idea.
I was home alone on friday feeling really really sad and depressed. On Saturday morning my first pair of heels have arrived. I have no idea why i even ordered them in the first place. I never buy any women clothing because it made me even more depressed but i just had this urge to see how does it feel to walk in such shoes. As soon I put my feet in them (while driving home 😱) something just cracked and a flood starter to pour.
On sunday i came out to my 17year old son and it when pretty well. Today I told my wife. That didn’t go well but good enough. Still in the house, still talking. She asked me if I want boobs. We’ll I was glad to say „yes please”. Jesus on friday I could have been tortured and I would not say s word!
Thank you all for giving hope, it kept me alive all these years. Now I’m actually happy to be trans to have the opportunity to start this quest!
I did not see that comming:)

We both got really high the other night and I was talking about how someone was talking about him snd i dead named him by accident. I don’t even know how I could’ve done it because I’ve known him the majority of the time by his chosen name, there was only a brief time I knew him by his dead name. I was the person to really help him find who he truly is and I just feel like for me to mess up like this i feel so horrible. He has never messed up deadnaming me or misgendering me, but he also only known me by my chosen name and pronouns. I just don’t know what to do i feel like such a piece of shit for doing that. He says it’s ok but I don’t think it is, am I just overthinking?

Edit:
Thank you all for your nice words, yeah I’m just such an over thinker.

Hi everyone. I’m writing this because I’m exhausted and honestly don’t know where to turn next. I’m Francisco, and my partner is Dennisse. I wanted to share our story because the last few days have been overwhelming, and civil justice is too slow for what we’re going through.

Last Friday, a Facebook account named "Carlos Carrasco" (ID: 61581936321582) started attacking Dennisse in a public group. It wasn’t subtle. They exposed private photos of her, mocking her body and identity in a very raw way. But what really got to me was how it escalated.

They uploaded screenshots of direct messages that Dennisse sent him in confidence, treating them like trophies. Suddenly, hundreds of strangers began bombarding her with transfobic comments. Some said brutal things like "Throw him in acid," while others focused on intimate details of her body with a predatory gaze.

Then came the direct threat against me. This same account pointed at me (Francisco Aldunate) and said: "If you’re such a thief, come to Laguna Verde and with my dogs we’ll make you shit blood." He calls himself "Mauricio Paredes Bugueño", though I suspect it might not be his real name. It’s a new account, almost a digital ghost, likely created just for this. He had already targeted another girl, Tracy Torres, with the same cruelty.

We have all the technical evidence saved (we even calculated the SHA-256 hashes to prove the images are original), but knowing you’re right doesn’t remove the knot in your stomach when you see the attack is still active day after day.

We aren’t tech experts or lawyers. We’re looking for someone who can help identify this "Mauricio" or see if we can do something faster than waiting months for a judge. Any quick legal advice for Chile would be huge, or simply some moral support. Feeling vulnerable in front of an anonymous crowd is... you can imagine... ill post the link to the post in the comment section

I finally made it; it was a struggle sometimes, as lots of obstacles tried to take it away from me. But I have managed to pull through. And I have been so much happier for it, and I have gotten to do so many things I never thought possible. Of course some things still need work, but I am in a much better place than I was a year ago.

List of what I have done

-learned a good shaving and self-care routine

-painted my nails

-grown my hair out to preferred length

-came out to all of my friends (without losing any) and made some new ones

-started going by my preferred and name and pronouns

-gotten a makeover and started learning makeup myself

-came out to my aunt and sister

-had pseudo periods

-small amount of voice training

-grown C cup breasts

-wore cute/fem outfits in public

-got to go on a girls' night out

-successfully came out at one of my jobs

-finally understood my sexuality as a lesbian

-had men try to hit on me (ironic)

-went to an adult prom in a beautiful dress and makeup

-experienced euphoria and lots of other emotions that I thought I had lost years ago

-gotten compliments and told I'm pretty

-gotten called she, her, miss, and madam by strangers

-passed well enough to be let into the women's changing room and use the women's bathroom

-had someone forget and someone else not be able to tell that I'm trans

Still to do

-come out to my parents and publicly

-legally change my name and ID

-fat redistribution and start progesterone

-get consistently correctly gendered

-continue voice training

-actually see a girl when I look in a mirror

I am in my late 20s and didn't know until a few years ago. Don't let people gaslight you into believing it's too late

Hello there everyone I have a couple questions on looks ( clothing and makeup )

Is there any good eyeliner tips I’ve been looking on TikTok and what not but I’ve still been seriously struggling lol also is there any cheaper makeup items I could look into to expand my library of choices ?
2. Does anyone know any diy clothing that I could make from maler clothing ( so masc to fem ) or any clothing I could get that wouldn’t be too difficult for a trans girl to pull off ( I’m a regular ish weight maybe abit smaller ) but more so diy clothing I love making my own clothing articles it’s a lot of fun lol

Thank you very much !

Hi all, before continuing I want to be clear that I'm only really early on in questioning and finding my identity. I am confident though that I'm not cis. I am MTF(probably), 17 rn

Is it normal, or I guess does anyone have a shared experience of feeling kinda surface level in their desire to transition? In the sense that I often feel that my desire to transition is almost purely at an aesthetic level.

Context:

For years I've thought vaguely about the idea of transition, and i vaguely recognised my discomfort, but I've also always had a really poor ability to visualise my self, and I've been taught to avoid thinking about my appearance since a young age, which ig has extended towards my gender.

Recently, however, I've taken the slightest interest in self expression though my physical appearance, and its kinda making me come to terms with the fact that I am uncomfortable with the way I currently am. That, and my body is further masculinising in my shoulders and face and I really don't like it.

When I read other peoples accounts of their experiences, I see discussion of a pain that seems so much deeper than my own. I've never been one to feel or express really powerful emotion.

As I write this I start to realise my deeper discomfort with the idea of being a 'man' my whole life, but I also can't shake an uncertainty about the whole ordeal.

I feel this urgency to find confidence in a firm decision and understanding of my identity, because I can see my body becoming more masculine and it scares me.

thank u for your time

So i dont think I had dysphoria unless you count the feeling like im a eldritch god traped in a mortal body as a prison, i only got dysphoria about my gender after I realized I was trans and am wondering if thats normal?

Hey y'all, first post here. I'm not the most social person nor is english my first language, so please excuse if what i write seems a bit blunt or used the wrong post flair or something.

I'm transfem and have known that for almost 7 years now, and thats the furthest i got into transitioning. The only change that realisation really made to my life was how my friends refer to me and that i now wear skirts, and that i now at least know.

Some of my trans friends often encourage me to try and get a diagnosis and stuff so i can gange my legal gender and name changed, get HRT, all that stuff. Even offering to help and guide me through the whole process.

But thing is, I don't even know whether or not that effort would be worth it for me specifically. I know that i won't ever like how i look, no matter how much HRT would change me, and i don't really care if people i don't care about (e.g. the government, strangers or pretty much anyone i don't consider a friend) misgender and deadname me. Somewhat connected to that is also that due to me not "properly" transitioning, the whole topic of romantic relationships goes out the window too, since i'd never see myself as someone "worthy" of being loved if i can't even put that much effort in for myself.

To me, HRT and the other stuff always just felt like things i feel like would be good for me if they, for a lack of a better term, just would happen to me, certainly couldn't hurt, and I'm happy for when others get to transition like they deserve to, but i just kinda don't feel like for me it would be worth the effort.

At least the current state of things i'm used to.

I've been on this mental roundabout for a while now and this is the first time i actually reach out for advice and opinions like this to anyone.

Hi!
Has anyone struggled with having a different persona in them?
I've only recognized it as such as I'm writing this.
It ended up becoming a bit of a long reflective post, sorry. Thanks for the space in advance.

_________

I'm 30, and after 23 years, I've finally gotten access to hrt.
During those 23 years, I think I've created a different persona of my intended sex, in an effort to cope with the fact that I had to live as my agab.
I'm not sure if I can say it's daydreaming, it's a lot closer to dissociating, but the thoughts and memories I had as "myself" are clearly separated from this persona, who, I think, has it's own life and own views.
I recognize this persona as something I'd made up as a youth (I remember desperately praying to god that I can be that exact person when I was 8), but as I've grown, I think I've assigned them specific memories tied to specific locations with specific people, most of which don't directly link with my own memories, thus creating a completely different narrative than what I experienced.
By the time I was 17 it was more something that was playing in the back of my head, like I'd go somewhere and see something interesting, and think "oh look, they're enjoying that" meanwhile I'm doing something entirely different, with different emotions and thoughts.

Around 24, I had a really bad mental breakdown where I broke up with my partner, went radio silent to my family and dearest friends for 3 years. A lot of this had to do with trying to face my transness, and failing to do so.
I was afraid of the persona I'd made that still lived in my head, because that wasn't "me" or "real". Throughout the years I'd molded this persona, I've come to find them immature and wreckles (Of course, the fact that I just up and left for 3 years and had several near-death experiences in an unfamiliar environment proved to me they were still closer to me than I thought).

Fast forward 6 years later, and I'm having the exact same urge to run again so bad. I've made it 3 weeks in, reminding myself that this is what I'd wanted, and what I should do for my health instead of going back to destructive habits. The first day was exciting, that I'd finally done it and it's happening. Now I'm struggling to stop myself from packing my suitcase again because the thing I made to help me survive this far has become a threat.

I'm a lot healthier now than I was 6 years ago, and I have enough faith that I'll figure it out, but it's been so disheartening in the last 3 weeks that every application I do comes with fear and shame. That I've given this persona so much of the happiness that I couldn't experience, and have disconnected it from myself. That now, treating myself feels like I'm morphing into this caricature I've made, and not something organic.
Logically I know none of this to be true, and that I'll be okay, but I just feel so stupid. All of this just so I can go outside without forgetting how I got there.

I wrote this because I was curious if anyone else had similar experiences. I know many experiences talk about "knowing" they're trans, or have a direct correlation of their sense of self and transness, but mine felt more like a desperate wish that haunted me my whole life. I never got to relate to femininity or masculinity because I was just forever on the sidelines.

Overall I can only pray that I can be happier in the future. Anyways thanks for letting me rant.

I'm currently pre-t I get by with people assuming I'm a stereotypical lesbian.

I currently work as a bouncer at a night club (not a super safe place I know). I got my job by helping someone I saw pass out while I was there with my friends. During this I interacted with several bouncers and one of the owners and the whole time my friends used my name and he/him so assumed they knew hiring me.

Well they clearly either didn't notice or didn't care because I only hear she/her but at the same time they use my name and I'm always on doing the female bathroom check.

Anyway I just was like whatever it's only a job (that I really like NGL) so I just let them assume I'm a lesbian. Now I'm about to be starting T in a few weeks and obviously that's gonna cause changes. When I was first hired the coworkers I had then (really fast turnover rate) I knew were safe and all allies. NOW tho I'm really not sure and I don't wanna get hurt. The other week my one boss made a homophobic comment about these two guys hugging and said they might as well be f*cking. He wasn't speaking to me but I was right behind him guiding one line while he was handling another. I'm for sure gonna quit now because I don't feel safe.

I had another place I applied to months and months ago call me for an interview and I I would love to work there but now I'm scared about my safety. Do I say something during the interview and ask if this place is LGBTQ+ safe. I've thoroughly gone through their social media and they've never posted about pride month at all so I'm hesitant.

What do y'all do, how do you make sure you're safe?

So i have been out at work for some months now (timeline is kinda fuzzy) and my friends at work never really switched to using fem pronouns or calling me by my trans name. However after I mentioned that my insurance company of all people has made the switch because of a nurse that's with a specific program the company offers, two of my friends have switched to referring to me as she and using my fem name! They still make mistakes sometimes and one is better about catching them but it really seems like when they make mistakes its not ill intentioned or just not caring. I kinda knew about euphoria before but never really had chances to feel good about myself or my body just because buying a new wardrobe is expensive and sizes are confusing and im not on hrt yet, but i finally got to feel like myself for once. It really is a whole new feeling when someone just refers to you differently. It feels like im seen and like someone cares enough to make such a simple change with little to no benefit for themselves; just for me! I just wanted to share because it was a big milestone for me and it made mw happy!

TRIGGER WARNING: EXTREME DEPRESSION AND SUICIDAL IDEATION

NSFW: Being trans is giving me the big sad and I wanna die. Pretty girls make me jealous. Nothing is real.

Everyday my gender dysphoria grows worse. I am too poor to transition. I’m fighting for my life everyday. I have lost every person that ever mattered to me, every time I see a transitioned woman it makes me so jealous and envious. I’m genuinely so close to my breaking point I’m not sure how much more I can take. I’ve been asking God a lot recently why I was even born…

Nothing seems to ever work out in favor of me being myself, I feel locked in a life that isn’t even mine and I am genuinely clawing at the corners of my mind. Everyday I feel myself turning inside out and losing what little sanity I have left.

I genuinely need help. I don’t wanna keep living if I have to live out a false narrative

So after waiting three months for my appointment for mtf hormones, all seemed ready to get a prescription. Just one consent form they were to email me. I hot a consent form for starting testosterone arrrgg! So i emaled yhem about the screw up and now have to wait for a reply. Just another unwanted delay.

I think I may be transgender MtF (shocker for this subreddit I’m aware) and I just need some help talking through it with someone I guess, I am absolutely terrified of being it, kinda going through a lot mentally right now as well so I just don’t even know anymore, some help would be appreciated

I've finally stopped questioning and I want to get onto HRT. I have a therapy appointment soon, and I think my therapist is pretty LGBTQ+ friendly, should I talk to him, or would it be better to go through a GP? Or is a different route even better?