Confession? I hid my SRS straight out of college
To anybody out there that still lives with their parents, I hope this can offer some confidence that you can still get bottom surgery while not having settled down away. I think a big part of the success of this was that I have older siblings who do have their own places and could do WFH for a few days.
I (22 MTF) recently graduated college and had savings from a part time job I did, as well as asked my older siblings for financial help. I had my consultation for SRS online during my senior year, and then when I graduated I went to the city of my surgery with a 1 month airbnb, which was ~$5K (it is super important to spend 2 months away before returning home), and got my siblings to pay for it. I lied and told my parents I was still working on a project at my university. My surgery was covered by insurance, which I paid for ($5K).
Oh also, definitely do the USPS address redirection so your parents don’t see your prior authorizations that get mailed to your home address if you’re on their insurance (I am).
I got my brother to take 2 weeks WFH and stay with me in my airbnb for my initial recovery (i was discharged after 1 day in the hospital). I was basically bedridden the first two weeks and could only take 10 steps at most, we had to get a portable toilet, he had to constantly empty my catheter bag, etc. I got my sister to stay with me for the second 2 weeks and by then I was able to walk to the bathroom. For the first two post-ops (I had weekly post-ops), we ordered medical transportation to get there and back since I couldn’t climb stairs, and they have a chair that can get you up and down stairs.
They both cooked all the food, etc. week 3 i got sepsis because my catheter had given me a UTI which spread to my kidneys, and had to spend a week in the hospital. I was discharged and soon after, my airbnb was up.
I was planning on returning home at this point but because I was still limping and struggled with stairs, I opted to spend 10 days with my sister (3 hour flight, tons of pain meds and buying a whole row got me through it), and 2 weeks with my brother (4 hour flight, first class with pain meds and was ok). Compression socks were helpful during the flights as I was swelling.
During the stay with my sister, we tried to go the park daily so I could gradually get up to 3,000 steps per day. During the stay with my brother I tried to go the city every day and got up to 10,000 steps per day within a week (this was really important in getting me in shape after being bedridden). I told my parents I was visiting my siblings because I missed them. They weren’t aware my siblings were with me during my first month of recovery (they told my parents they were on vacation, visiting friends, work trips).
At this point, I was 8 weeks post-op and able to climb stairs, walk (couldn’t run yet), so I flew home (5 hour flight, comfort+ seat, pain meds, but there was turbulence and I got extremely nauseous because of my meds, and because they only last 4-6 hours, in the last hour of the flight the meds wore off I was having a few sharp pains).
I’m actually at this point right now, and have been dilating twice a day, once right after my parents fall asleep (~12 AM), and once when I wake up (~12 PM) for two days so far. I lied to the rest of my family (one brother, both parents), that I had back pain from tripping on a sidewalk as a cover since I can’t run/workout. They have no idea I got the surgery, and I will be staying with them until I go to grad school!