r/StraightTransGirls

I'm tired of talking to/about men. I want to hear from the dolls. Share something positive that happened to you this week (that doesn't involve a man) :)

I am at a crossroads because I am reaching 6 months post op and I havent even dated in over 3 years but I am young and technically never had consensual penetrative sex (anal was nonconsensual) so I would count my future sexual experience as my first time with penetration... i know girls feel the same way about first vaginal penetration anyway. I dont want it to be a random guy but the few guys I had talked to preop didnt know and I am too scared to navigate my first time with a guy who doesnt know to be gentle... and the only guy who does know is my ex who is married with a kid and he's tried to cheat with me before but I cant have that on my conscience as much as I am attracted to him.

Sooo. I realize now I am in a funny pickle and nowhere near having sex which is frustrating cause I just started mastutbating...😭 how did you single and postop girls navgiate this?

I get a lot of attention from old men on the apps. I'm talking, like, 50+ men. Crusty old geezers who look like their breath would smell like some decrepit combination of cigarettes, alcohol, and impending senility. Many of whom look like they've gone through a recent midlife crisis with pictures of motorcycles, tattoos, or blowing smoke into the camera.

Like a lot of men, they don't realize I'm trans until they've had a second (or third or fourth) glance at my profile. Hinge does this bizarre thing where it doesn't show my demographic characteristics (i.e., trans woman) until about halfway down the page past a couple photos, a voice memo, a choose-your-own adventure type prompt, and so on. Lots of guys don't scroll down far enough to see it. And I know, I know, just put the trans flag emoji next to my name or something like that. Agreed that that'd resolve the conundrum, but I don't want to portray myself as some sort of activist or other hello-i-am-trans-as-my-whole-personality type. No disrespect, but I'm just not about that.

Anyway, one small joy in my life consists of accepting literally every and any man over 50+ and waiting until they notice that I'm trans. It typically takes them a few conversational turns until they figure out that the woman they're talking to isn't the woman they thought they matched with. This isn't exclusive to old men, of course. A lot of the men I match with have that realization at some point and then summarily unmatch. But with old men, the unmatch rate approaches (if not is equal to) 100%.

It tickles me pink to imagine the old guy in depth. After having matched with me, he's privately celebrated that he'll be going on a date with a hot young blondie. Maybe he has a jilted ex-wife or myriad friends who have their lives together, and he's eager to show them a reason to be jealous of him. Then, after a few rounds of conversation and his excitement growing in tandem, he takes a second look at my profile. It makes me giddy to imagine the crestfallen expression on his face as he realizes that I'm a trans woman and so all of his dreams of stoking feelings of envy in his friends and exes come crashing down.

That moment makes matching with these old men worth it. I laugh a little every time one of them unmatches with me.

Can anyone relate?

So I’m having a pretty tough time right now

the only feminine thing I had was the breast augmentation and they ended up being too small for my frame and they are full of stretch marks.

The stretch marks are taking all over my breast. It’s incredibly ugly. I cannot show my breast to anyone I can’t even wear Demi bra because you can see the stretch marks.

I hate my breast so much.

Everything else is super masculine. My Ffs was a failure. I’m wondering what’s the purpose to be alive!

my family doesn’t talk to me. Friends went away when they knew I was trans. I don’t have any boyfriend, people I’m attracted to. They are not attracted to me. I get misgender a lot people see me as a dude. I’m not a woman or anybodys eyes but mine.

I’ve been living this shitty life. I have a shitty job everything my life is shit. Damn, I really wanna give up. I don’t know what to do. I’m very very depressed. Feeling super bad. I’m sorry for bringing this energy to the sub, but that’s how I feel.

Peace and I wish every one of you luck, love and so much happiness!

In other words, have you ever noticed that there are trans women who don't "pass" as cisgender, or at least, not entirely, but who, despite that, turn out to be unexpectedly cute and adorable? You look at them and say, "Yes, she is visibly trans," yet they possess that certain "flaivor" that makes them adorable and charming. They are the ideal type of woman to marry and take home to meet Mom. I think a lot of guys feel tempted to approach us, but they back off out of fear of what others might say. In fact, this happened to me once at work. Specifically, I was working in food prep at a restaurant and had to take the food scraps out of my station every so often. Since the trash cans sometimes overflowed, I found it difficult to haul the waste all the way to the disposal area, so I would end up asking the male staff for help. On one occasion, I asked some random guy to help me take out the trash. At that moment, honestly, I didn't care who he was. Later, I took a good look at him, and it turned out he was exactly my type. When he realized I was trans (I assume a close coworker must have mentioned it to him), he started keeping his distance. He continued to help me, but he would get nervous and avoid making eye contact. And on one occasion, when I tied back my hair and stepped slightly into his personal space (I know, it was a bit bold of me), he recoiled and tried to keep doing what he was doing, but with his head down. I heard one of his coworkers say to him: "Hey, don't be afraid of her!" It’s worth mentioning that the guy in question was super tall, muscular, and sported a light beard that lent his appearance a touch of maturity. Seeing a man of such stature act with so much nervousness and fear in front of a girl who stands barely 1.62 meters tall (5 feet 3.8 inches) is laughable (though I actually found it adorable on his part).

Please share your own experiences.

How do you girls DRESS 😭 I have really wide shoulders. 19 inches and I’m 6’1. And on top of that I have narrow hips and I’m fat. Around 90kg. This is after loosing 10kg.. I really wanna dress in like jeans and shirts but they make me look so masculine :,) I wanna look like a normal girl in those clothes

Leaving bones alone and just softening facial features with your own fat from somewhere else. How did it go? Do you like the results?

I’m pre-op, no plans of bottom surgery. I’m so lucky for my amazing boyfriend. At times in my life I thought I’d never find anyone like him. But I talk to queer and trans friends of mine and I feel like they pick on me for my attraction to men. And even now that I have a cis boyfriend they view me as a normal woman dating a man like I don’t relate to them anymore. This is obviously validating but also not? Me and my boyfriend are viewed by the world as so queer even if we don’t intend to be. How come I feel shamed by cis normative communities and queer communities? I hope somebody knows the weird feeling I’m experiencing :(

I don’t quite know how to describe this, but essentially the further I progress through transition (7 months hrt+out), the more I’ve felt this weird sense of feeling like an outsider, like I fundamentally struggle to relate to my friends in a way I either used to or didn’t think about before?

This has all come to ahead since my best friend (gay man) recently has been seeing a guy in a fwb/dating situation. Both of us have always related and been there to vent to each other about the struggles of finding physical and emotional connection, in ways I can’t with my straight cis girlfriends. But his current situation seeing guys has like triggered a reminiscence of when I was full gay twink mode seeing grindr situation-ships. Reminding me of the trauma and good times I had with that.

I guess fundamentally we’re just in different places in life. I’m at the end of my nursing degree in endless assignment/exam/placement hell whilst working part time and still pretty much in the beginning of developing my sense of self and living authentically. Whereas his just started a new course, out having fun, etc.

The same can be said for all my other friends (who are cis straight women). Like I love them no differently and have a great time with them still ofc, yet I feel distant cause what they’ve got going on like boyfriends, dating, etc. things they’re dealing with, they’re goals/plans, etc are things I just can’t relate to at all right now.

I think part of it’s just life and the nature of how friendships change in your early 20s. However, transitioning has me feeling like I’m living on another planet. (Whether it’s the mental or physical side of things). For example, I’m stringently saving 50k for ffs and then after that GRS 🫩, whilst my friends don’t have to deal with something like that in their reality.

Ideally having trans friends irl would help this, but I’ve found trans friends can have just as much differences (me being 7months in vs someone 5+ yrs, different financial circumstances, blablabla).

TL;DR

I think back to when I was a very dissociated gay boy, and as much as I’m thankful that’s over lol, the consequence of being my authentic self comes with tackling realities that differ significantly from everyone else’s around me. I have to get used to the absence of not relating to others as much as I used to.

Idk I guess what I’m saying is it just feels lonely. I know grinding away at my degree and saving are setting me up to get where I wanna be in the coming years, but fuck being in the midst of it sucks.

Obviously, we don't have a "period" if by "period" we mean menstruation; but is the "period" limited solely to that? Doesn't it also include mood swings, changes in skin texture or sensitivity, and a decrease in sex drive? I don't know; there are too many factors that constitute the "period" to reduce it solely to menstruation.

[supprimé]

Hi everyone. I've fairly recently figured out I was a trans woman, and my dysphoria since then has unfortunately gotten worse, particularly in my face. I'm not really able to transition unfortunately due to my circumstances (though thankfully that should be changing in a few months; I currently live with homophobic/transphobic parents).

I keep having thoughts that I'll never be a real woman without FFS, just a man trying to poorly imitate what a "real" woman looks like, or that it's gay for a man to be attracted to me when he sees my forehead/upper face (which frustrates me because it makes me hard to feel like I'm able to date, or that I'll just never find love period), or that I'm going to need to always cover my forehead with something unless I get FFS or else I'll be instantly clockable. It may have to do with my OCD, since often it can cause depression for me, and that can also fuck with my perception of myself and make my gender dysphoria worse.

I don't know how to deal with this and I'm honestly tired of it. This shit sucks. Any advice would be appreciated, thank you.

Taking a break from dating due to the emotional energy it requires but I’m really curious if some of you choose the hookup route as away to not be completely single and find some enjoyment!

Is that even a good option? Thoughts?

For the straight trans girls here: what actually makes an interaction feel natural, safe, and genuine to you?

Like:

green flags in conversation

subtle things guys do right

stuff that instantly makes you relax

things cis men think are supportive but actually feel awkward

I was minding my own business at the gym when this man came up to me and said I was beautiful. I wanted to be upfront and told him I was transgender, and he started yelling at me and calling me a little boy and telling me I’ll never be a woman and a whole lot of other stuff that I don’t even remember, tbh. I kind of blocked it out. Then he shoved me off the treadmill and started antagonizing me, telling me to hit him. I didn’t know what to do. I was so terrified and started curling up into a ball on the floor. I’ve never been in a situation like this before. Usually, people just leave me alone. I’ve always prided myself on doing my best to put myself out there and to be vulnerable because in my mind, that’s my only chance at finding happiness and not being alone forever. But I’ll admit that I’m scared, and not a single person came to help me. They all just looked at me, and a few people were even recording it. Is this all my life is ever going to be? How are we supposed to ever be happy in a world that hates us for just existing? How do I navigate this?

My hubs was happy cuddling on our ouch with our little doggie with our 6 yo asleep. He said “with any other wife I would not have (our child) and our dog” and I got anxious as like i did not provide genetic material for our kid or give birth to them, so was this a dig? It wasn’t he meant we have a unique and wonderful life and it would not be the same with anyone else and that’s true. He meant the dog as he envisioned getting a big dog but I insisted on a little one and he loves our dog.

Just some thoughts, we have to learn to take compliments .