r/StraightTransGirls

I swear some men will ask for your whole camera roll, compliment your body, act like they’re interested, then the second you ask for one normal selfie back so you can save their contact, suddenly it’s:

“You got Snapchat?”

Like sir… you already have my number. I sent body pics, normal selfies, face pics, everything. I’m not trying to collect your photos like Pokémon cards, I’m just trying to know who I’m talking to.

Then when I said the Snapchat thing gave DL/chaser vibes, he immediately flipped it into:

“You just spazzed for no reason. That’s mental issues. Don’t take your trauma out on me.”

And that told me everything. Because why is asking for basic equal energy suddenly “trauma”? If you’re comfortable asking for my body, you should be comfortable sending a normal selfie without trying to move it to disappearing-pic HQ.

I’m not looking for some faceless DL man in witness protection. I’m trying to find an actual boyfriend who can act normal for 30 seconds. Apparently that’s an advanced placement course.

Just obnoxious. We hit it off, before we get anywhere serious or physical i disclose. Everyone who does respond tells me they legitimately did not know, and many are chill which is great. Some say “hey, it’s not for me but you are cool.”

But the ones who don’t even give me the courtesy of a response? Just block and ghost? Fucking cowards, the lot. Been on HRT 2 1/2 years, SRS in 9 months, evidently pass well enough on the daily to have men tell me they didn’t know.

For context, I have had SRS 2 years ago and a revision about a year ago. I wasn't rich enough for an operation halfway around the world and likely was not going to be for years/a decade. I didn't wait after all and got it locally, government)covered.

It is safe to say I regret it. I went wrong and my revision could not save it. Every time I take a picture or a video of the area I want to scream and dread fills me. It just looks so awful, because there obviously is swelling going on that isn't supposed to be there. So, I don't want anyone to interact with it ever, even if it is functionally okay.

Do you think a nice guy would still give me a chance if sex would be without penetration or his face down there, ever in our relationship?

I started transitioning while I was with my ex (together for 5 years, shocking given my track record). He was cool with it and life was fine. Eventually we fell out of tune and dating as a single trans woman is a whole different playing field from dating as a twink.

I've been ghosted, I've been strung along, I've been asked the inappropriate questions and called slurs. Calling them out does nothing, ignoring them feels worse, and I can't help but feel like a shrew when I point out their BS. It's exhausting so I don't want to deal with it anymore. However I still feel lonely and honestly I'm wondering if it ever goes away.

If the lonely feeling went away and I just figured my life out on my own, I'd have to wonder what I'm willing to give up after that hard work just to be with someone who only half attempts to get me.

Have any of you decided to be permanently single? Are you content with it?

So I spent the 4th lounging with my cis girl friends- my best gal pal has a pool at her complex, so we all just vibeed and lounged around and made smash burgers. But we all got to talk about sexuality and our experiences- turns out I am the bigger slut out of all of them. Since I have and do swallow, so imagine my shock the trans girl being the bigger slut than all the cis girls around her.

But it is affirming when cis women kind of just forget it all and go on like rants about their periods, baby fever, and dating life. Good number of my friends are cis so I’ve always kind of never been shocked or take aback by those conversations, but it does always surprise me.

I am stealth. I talk to women about periods and growing up female. About how we're not taken seriously at work or in sports because of how "we" were born. We talk about family life, having children, pregnancy and menopause. I talk as if part of the inseparable sisterhood. But at times it can really make me crash down completely.

I'm playing a role, but it will never be me. I will never really know about periods, female biology, about pregnancy, or menopause. It's all fake.

I was not given something other women got for nothing. It went wrong for some unfair reason and the only shot I have at life is burdened with it until the bitter end.

Seriously girls, I admire the heck out of all of you who are able to not live this life in a repetitive and continuous state of dread and sadness. I wish it onto all of you that you can find that state of mind <3

Chasers are gay or at least bisexual. And there is nothing wrong with either. The pathetic part is their cowardice. Their selfishness. The disgusting little performance where they use other people, especially women, because they are too weak to stand behind what they want and too fragile to face what it says about them.

If they are with a cis woman to keep up appearances, they are SCUM for that. She becomes cover and decoy. A person whose life, body, trust and time they are willing to burn through because their masculinity is too brittle to survive honesty. That is cowardice.

If they are with a trans woman obviously treating her like an object or like a filthy little shortcut into their own desire or identity, they are just as rotten. A waste of time. They are using her. They are feeding on her while still looking down on the very thing they came crawling toward.

I do not care how many of them are secretly trans, repressed, ashamed or whatever else they hide behind. None of it excuses a damn thing. Their fear is not a worthy excuse. Their shame is not a free pass to disrespect other people. Their pathetic crisis does not give them the right to hurt others.

If this were not already so dangerous, if this exact cowardice were not already getting women hurt and killed, I would use every ugly slur there is for them. Because they are disgusting and selfish. They would rather use women as shields, props, objects and exits than stand in front of a mirror for one honest second.

I'm a cis man, and I've been reading the countless posts in here about experiences with men.

And while there are a few glimmers of hope, and some positive experiences, the overwhelming majority of posts I've read are stories of truly terrible ones.

And it's fucking heartbreaking.

I always knew that we can be truly distasteful, however I never knew that it would be this bad, and this is only the tip of a very large, very cold iceberg.

I'm sorry that this has happened to so many within this community. Everyone deserves to love, and more importantly, to be loved. For who they truly are. Unconditionally and unashamedly. Without being made to feel like they need to change simply to fit someone else's expectations.

God damn, it broke my heart to read so many posts and see so many similar experiences.

I'm sorry, I'm so damn sorry that us men don't treat you with the love and respect you so clearly deserve.

However, I promise there are those of us out there (seemingly few and far between), that would love nothing more than to give you this love and respect. Please, keep searching, because one day you will find it.

I don't think there's a sentence in the English language that causes me more trauma than this one. for context, I'm 5 ft 6 on a good day, I usually lean towards 5'4 because I don't like to stare at the sky due to confidence issues LMAO.

anyways, I'd rather be asked how big am i, I'd rather be asked how much I weigh, I'd rather be asked literally a plethora of questions.

the girls who get it, get it. there's really no other sentence in the English language for trans women that equates to = I'm a chaser and if you hit a certain threshold I'm no longer interested

and what's hilarious is this doesn't even affect me, I'm always shorter typically than the men who seek me out. I'm very privileged in the sense that I'm not a super tall trans woman, but that doesn't make tall trans woman not valid?

anyways, I'm doing a shot for my trance girls who peak past 5 ft 8. even though most men aren't ready for you the rest of us think your goddesses

I tried to find someone to go on a date with a few weeks ago, we hit it off pretty nicely in the dating app, he asked for my socials, our interests aligned well and he seemed chill. I gave him my socials - we follow each other, and i see that he follows a few trans girls i know, i see he frequents the same left leaning spaces they do, so i think - that’s probably a green flag, riiiiight..? he is known in those circles so maybe he’s chill.
Anyway, once we switch apps - everything goes downhill pretty fast. first he says that he wants to treat me and take me out, describes in detail his perfect date - love it.
then he begins sending me his pictures - like just walking, not doing anything just him. and then he asks for me to take a picture for him right then and there - i do so. he compliments me and then says: “can you send me a before and after of your transition”…. girl… i said i dont feel comfortable with that, he said “yeyeye its all good”, “just fyi-anything you send here will be just between us” - 🫥🫥🫥, thanks for clarifying i guess. then he says “im just a leftie guy looking for love”, im like yeah cool, and i tell him im very uncomfortable right now and he starts apologising. he keeps sending me photos of himself just walking, and then he sent me a meme of a boy and girl pissing at a urinal with an accompanying message “us”. and then said he misses me - how???? we haven’t even texted that much. right now im not sure how to drop it off without being too rude… i am very new to dating so I imagine y’all getting irked out much sooner than i did. would love some advice🙏✨

It's hard to reassure someone that having sex with me isn't gay if I'm describing sex with gay men's terminology. But I can't find another way of saying it that doesn't sound weird or clinical. Like saying "I don't penetrate" sounds too clinical.

For context I haven't dated for the first few years of transition, but I'm going to create a dating app profile soon. So I don't have any post transition experience. So I've been worrying about stupid things like this.

When I was a man, I had a preference for daughters. Not that I hated the idea of having sons, but I would have picked daughters every time if I had the choice. But as a woman, I don't think I mind, and I'd ideally want a mix. Does anyone else relate to this?

So yesterday when I had dinner with my older brother, he asked me if I ever had plans to tell the rest of my family about my girlfriend being trans. I told him that I do, especially since she's open about her identity and that the reason for her last breakup was because of her previous partner refusing to be honest with his own family.

He then told me that while he supports the relationship, he doesn't accept her identity. He says, instead of using her preferred pronouns, he is only going to refer to her by name only. Also, whenever he kept bringing her up in our conversation, he kept using the phrases 'person' or 'partner'. I'm honestly not sure how I feel about this.

Part of me feels a bit offended on her behalf but another part of me doesn't want to push the issue further because I don't want him to then see her in a negative light. Thoughts and opinions are much needed and if you have any suggestions as to how to broach the subject with him again, please let me know.

Hi so I wanted to see if any girls have gone through this, i met a guy online, not a dating app, and we hit it off instantly!! He’s really sweet, attentive, I would go out on a limb and say it’s the first time im treated like this, and it’s great 🥰a real special thing for me has been the lack of sexual insinuations, when I’m used to chasers and such bringing it up after 30 seconds. So thats been great! We’ve gone on two dates, he asked to kiss me on the second one, a really cute gesture, now if I don’t sound as enthusiastic is cause of what happened last night… we were texting as we have been every day for the past few weeks, and things took a sexual turn (I was ALL for it) and so I asked to see his penis. He doesn’t deserve to be bashed so I’ll just say it’s aesthetically the most unpleasant one I’ve seen, ever. For our 3rd date tonight (again emphasis on me having a 3rd date with a boy EVER) I was the one that proposed he gets a room with a jacuzzi for us. And well the outcome of the night was implied , but after those pictures .. I hate to even feel like this like it shouldn’t matter that much, but I don’t want it anywhere near me , like it’s that bad I don’t think I could go through doing anything …. So I’ve been feeling terrible and wanted to see other girls thoughts and advice 😭

I am 29 but it seems to me that I am more popular with younger men 20-25 than my age or a few years older. The youngest one who hit on me was 19 😭. Have you ever dated younger men?

Holding hands , light warm hugs and kisses with my amazing man. He made me a lil surprise picnic and made sure to bring me my favourite non alcoholic drink!! I’m so happy!!

A lonely girl can dream right 😔?? Literally crying Rn.

can anyone relate?

Like it's so hot and humid outside and I just want to throw on a tee and go out grocery shopping without anyone sexualising and staring at me. I think bras are suffocating in summer, even the t-shirt bras, especially now with my asthma and allergies acting up, and it just makes me so miserable. Same with the style I dress, the only flattering way for my body is to have some cleavage but it leads to unwanted attention, and the alternative (going braless) is even worse attention-wise. Especially this year, since I'm a few years out of depression and out of being a fatass, now I'm somewhat slim again and progesterone did me dirty (or not!) here.

Love the changes of course, but atm it makes me want to hide. Despite being 10+ years into transition and post-op, the current 'configuration' is just new to me and I'm way too shy for this. I just got home shoping, with just a shirt and shorts and I got crazy stares, it's honestly so bad.

Does anyone have any lifehacks I'm not aware of? Especially how you can survive in this heat and dressing accordingly? Am I supposed to just stay indoors all summer? Like, I live in a busy city and like to be outside for hours each day, it's not that I have a car or want one, walking is part of life here.

Obviously I like my breasts but I don't like how others make me feel with them present, existing, doing their thing... at home I'm only throwing on a oversize shirt and that's it. I do have a assortment of sport bras (and for running I have to use like 2-3 layers, which is fine for the 1-2 hours of working out outside of summer); the acceptable ones I tried so far are either way too light and don't give any kind of security, or they are so tight it's like a binder and in summer it's like wearing a hoodie. no thank you!