Pride & Community

Title mainly says it, idk if it just my algorithms catching up since I don’t use social media often or not. I’m gay and trans ftm so it just confuses the hell out of me how people can be gay and be homophobic to lesbians specifically (for example) or queer people being transphobic. Like who cares who somebody is attracted to or what gender identity they have

I find them attractive. I don't like the way I look. I am trying to lose weight so I can have a small body fat percentage. Is it OK for me to hate how I look until I am able to be thin?

I [NB, 30] have been trying to come up with a dominant title for myself. I don't feel like parental terms work for me, and specifically gendered terms (at least, in the dominant side) make me feel uncomfortable.

Does anyone have any ideas or experience in this subject, please? Thank you.

Hi all,

I'm (37M, married to F) a little new to this so apologies in advance if I say something stupid. I've been straight (or so I thought) for most of my life. Turns out, after a few years of therapy and starting to workout and invest in myself, I am pansexual. I recently talked to my wife about it for the first time and everything went pretty well. She said she's thought that for years at this point. So that all went well and I am really relieved about that.

Now I'm not really sure what to do or who to tell. In some ways I feel like I don't really need to tell anyone (obviously aside from this message). Not because I'm ashamed - though I am still struggling through a significant amount of shame - but more because I don't think it changes my relationships with people at this point. I'm not in an open relationship and I'm committed to my wife.

Obviously there isn't a playbook or right way to do this, but I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. What did it look like for you?

Does anyone encountered the same?

HELLL YEAAAAAHHHHH, so for the context my family is muslim and its usually more stricter than christian families for muslims to accept lgbt, But today i was facetiming my mom and she started talking about my long hair and said „my son just go to barber and get it removed“ this was like the hundredth time she said it so i got angry nd js hung up, then couldnt stop thinking abt this and Just straight up wrote her that im gay and explained it to her. btw ive not been home in 2 years and im in europe, she is in uzbekistan. and then she said „ If you dont regret this later, then do what you want“ WHICH IS BASICALLY ACCEPTANCE RIGHTTTTTT?????

I'm a gay guy and I live in a community where almost everyone around me is straight.

I've noticed a pattern over the years. I'll become friends with a guy, we'll get along well, joke around, hang out, and things feel completely normal. Then, at some point, I tell him I'm gay.

After that, something changes.

It's not that anyone says anything openly homophobic. Instead, they become more distant. They stop opening up to me, stop inviting me to things as often, and it feels like I'm no longer "one of the guys." The friendship doesn't usually end overnight—it just slowly fades.

The weird part is that I'm still the exact same person. Nothing about our friendship changes except that they now know one more fact about me.

At the same time, I also find it difficult to build close friendships with women because I'm still a guy, and a lot of them understandably have boundaries around male friendships.

Sometimes it feels like I'm stuck in this weird middle ground where I don't fully fit into either group.

I'm not looking for pity. I just want to know if anyone else—especially other gay men—has experienced this. Is this a common experience, or have I just been unlucky with the people I've met?

Omg I just don’t know. Can’t sleep and feel nauseous….. wtf. So anyone I’m a 50 yrs old bi guy. Always been in the closet and so scared to attempt to date or even do stuff with a guy. Did experiment with a few quick hookups with dudes. Just light stuff such as jacking each other off and sucking each other a bit. Even then I felt sick to my stomach afterward and felt so guilty. Attempted to talk to some guys over the years. But just not attracted to many men at all. And flaked a lot. Always just so skeptical about guys wanting to meet right now and then if you do not meet right away they disappear. So anyway I stated talking to a younger 28 year old guy. And actually found him cute with an amazing perfect slim body. So we exchange numbers. Chatted a bit and waited a few days to meet in person. And we met at a little Italian cafe, just talked and ate, then he invited me back to his place. I was hesitant and nervous as hell. He is just way too good looking for me. We go into his place and he invites me right into his bedroom and he just strips right down naked right into front of me. So I also get naked. And he just starts kissing me and I kiss back lips locked deep in kissing. He then kissing my neck and body as I do the same kissing him everywhere. Still in just awe of his beauty. I tell him how fucking hot he is and his big beautiful dick rubbing against my cock felt amazing.
So he sucks me first a bit and then I do the same and touched and kissed a lot then had sex. Omfg. Wow wow. After we showered and laid together. I kept telling him his freakin hot he is. Think I creeped him out a bit. He did say he wanted not to be serious with anyone. He’s only here temporarily for a job and has to leave in a few months. He politely just asked me to leave. And I left. Same a message that night. And another yesterday for 4th of July. But have yet to hear back from him. I’m not sending any more messages. I’m freakin a bit. And keep thinking about him. Omg. Think I’m more gay than I thought.

Hello there. Just pondering some social stuff I’ve realized. I’ve found a lot of times women will approach me and sometimes socialize with me like I’m a dumb straight man. But when they talk to my boyfriend they’re all very comfortable around him and get into chatting very quick. My convos with some women with him in the same space have been sarcastic, and sometimes condescending. Sometimes I just don’t talk if it’s looking that way with a group of girls. For context: I was socialized in mainly male (and some toxic male) environments due to playing competitive hockey in Canada. My boyfriend on the other end was socialized in mainly female oriented spaces due to being in competitive cheer. Idk this is just something I picked up on. Maybe I give off a weird vibe.

Remaining neutral when one side literally wants the other side dead effectively supports the oppressor. You are an active bystander, a coward who is afraid of actually standing up for what is morally correct.

I hate people who say "can't we just all be friends?", because they are blatantly ignoring how one side has views that blatantly condemn the existence of entire groups of people.

People wouldn't be dying if homophobia, or transphobia was "just an opinion", or "just politics". If you aren't avidly supporting LGBTQIA+ people, you might as well be against us, as your decision makes zero difference to how we are treated. Intolerance should never be tolerated.

This might be a strange question for this community. I am basically straight. I am not attracted to men but am very attracted to women. Yet I gravitate to gay porn, mostly romantic, tender sex between men. And the longing is more about the connection they have with each other, a connection my life as a straight, happily married man sorely lacks. My shame here is more that I have sexualized connection — that the only intimacy I seem to be able to imagine is sexual — than that I watch gay porn. I wonder if other people have felt the same way and found male-male intimacy without the sex.

I’m a more masculine-presenting person (she/they), and I’ve only ever had long-term relationships with women. I’m really comfortable with both my femininity and masculinity, and I naturally move between the two depending on how I feel.
Growing up I presented much more femininely. Because the dating pool where I lived was pretty small, I dated a few men and had several sexual experiences with men. But something always felt a little off. As I became more comfortable expressing myself in a more masculine way, I noticed that most straight cis men just weren’t interested in me anymore (with one exception who I saw on and off for a while).
That also made me realise that maybe I’m not actually attracted to very traditionally masculine, rigid gender roles. What I find incredibly attractive are men who are secure in their masculinity but also embrace and express their femininity without shame. Someone who doesn’t feel boxed in by what a man “should” be.
Meeting women has always been easy for me, and I’ve dated both masculine and feminine women. But I sometimes wonder whether the type of man I’m imagining actually exists, or if it’s just a fantasy.
I’m currently in a long-term relationship with my partner (she/they), and we’ve been talking about opening our relationship to explore threesomes and shared experiences. When I picture those experiences, I don’t imagine stereotypical gender dynamics. I imagine being with someone who’s fluid, authentic, confident, and doesn’t feel confined by traditional masculinity or femininity.
Have any of you met men like this? Are they actually out there, or am I romanticising the idea? I’d love to hear from people who’ve had similar experiences.