r/gay

My boyfriend (20M) and I (19M) have been together for a year. We are both bisexual, and when we first started dating, I honestly never thought it would become something serious.

I’ve always imagined myself having a wife, kids, and that typical “dream family,” and even now, part of me still wants that. But over time, I fell deeply in love with him — maybe even more deeply than I ever expected. At one point, I told him that I was willing to risk everything for him, and he told me he felt the same.

The problem is that almost nobody knows about us. Neither of our families knows that we’re together or that we’re bisexual. Only one of his friends and one of my friends know. We also live in different cities, about 30–40 minutes apart, but the distance itself has never really been an issue. Our relationship works incredibly well when it comes to that.

Recently, I went to visit him, and my parents have started becoming suspicious that something is going on. Because of that, I told him that maybe it would be easier if I came out to my mom. That way, we could see each other more freely, and he could even come to my house.

He didn’t agree with that because, understandably, if I came out to my mom, I would also be outing him. I completely understand why he doesn’t want that, and I’m not trying to pressure him into coming out.

However, I told him that we need to have a serious conversation about our future. I asked him if he could ever see himself coming out to his parents, especially because he often talks about us living together and having a future together.

His answer was no. He said he doesn’t think he will ever want his parents to know about us or know that he is bisexual.

I respect that. I understand that coming out is a deeply personal decision, and nobody should be forced to do it.

But at the same time, I don’t think it’s fair to me either. I feel like I’m willing to risk everything for him, while he isn’t willing to take that same risk for me. I don’t want to spend my entire life hiding my relationship, even though I love him more than I can explain.

And that’s what scares me.

I don’t want to leave him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t know if I can spend my entire life being a secret.

Part of me feels like I may eventually have to break up with him, not because I stopped loving him, but because we may want completely different lives.

What do you guys think? Am I being unfair by expecting some kind of future where we don’t have to hide forever?

Hey, im 28 almost 29 Gay male. Does anyone have a disability or Illness and still able to find love. I've had cancer now twice and once they find out they kinda scatter/ghost and it honestly feels so lonely. Like I'm never gonna find love in the gay community. I always am upfront about it before anything goes to a date because I don't want to be hurt in the long run or have someone who can not handle it or the stress and part of me doesn't even blame them why would they willing date someone who could end up just being a Medical case when they can have freedom with someone healthy. I just don't know i just feel lonely and just wish guys sometimes would look at me as a person and not just someone who is sick or could become sick again in the future is all. 🥺

The 'Living in the GAYCT' series continues with a stop in the swinging 60s! With midnight hook-ups leading to law reform and a little soiree with Harold Holt's mate.

I want to dress sluttier. I know Halloween isn’t for like another month but I want something more than dressing up as some random superhero or a random movie character. I mean I’m not against it, I just want it to be cunt.
Girls costumes are so much better, guys costumes are always so baggy to fit everyone. I want something that screams I’m proud of the body I’ve sculpted and want to show it off (insert NSFW adjectives).
My boyfriends going as Deadpool which does kind of fit him. I’m really tempted to just buy a girls costume like Harley Quinn or poison ivy or something. There is no dress code obviously, it could be a little cold but that’s why I have a big man to keep me warm.
It’s my first Halloween where I can really just send it. Maybe like a nun or something? idk any ideas

What do you guys do to keep things interesting in your marriage or relationship?

Once or twice a year my husband and I will go out to bars and pretend we're not married.

He has to try and pick me up. We take on new identities. New lives. It's always pretty fun.

I'm looking for any suggestions that are similar.

No threesomes, thank you. Not our thing.

Hello there I’m a 22m with alcoholic tendencies, and I have decided to quit for the second time and go alcohol free for life. Alcohol doesn’t do well with my medication and it’s just too habitual for me. I want to hit the gay bars, still go to parties, and attend raves still as it’s a major part of my social life and relief. If I don’t go out and let loose I get kinda depressed. How do you guys manage?

We broke up with my boyfriend almost a year ago, and honestly, this has been one of the hardest years of my life. I loved him very deeply, and I still do. He was the one who didn’t want to get back together.

The confusing part is that throughout this entire year, we’ve continued seeing each other and having sex. Usually it’s about once or twice a month. And honestly, the sex between us is the best and most passionate sex I’ve ever had, which probably makes this whole situation even harder for me.

Neither of us has had another partner — at least I haven’t. I can’t really speak for him..

I’ve asked him what this means and what exactly we’re doing, but he can’t really give me an answer. He’s not someone who talks openly about his feelings and tends to keep everything to himself. At the same time, he’s always the one who reaches out and invites me over to have sex.

And every time it happens, my feelings come back and it really difficult to move on.

What do you guys think — is seeing an ex once or twice a month like this ever actually healthy or normal for both people? Or are we just keeping each other stuck and avoiding the reality of the breakup?

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been in a similar situation, especially if you eventually managed to get out of this kind of cycle.