r/pansexual

Hi all I’m 42F and identify as pansexual. I’ve never come out as I didn’t ever really feel like I needed to, just bobbing along doing my thing. A work colleague once asked me if I fancied women as well as men to which I said yes to but that the closest to coming out I’ve done 😅

Anyway onto my question: there’s a pride event happening in my small UK town in September and everything that has been advertised is very over the top and camp. I absolutely have no issue with this of course but I just don’t feel like this represents myself. I’m more of a ‘quiet and proud’ person rather than ‘loud and proud’. I’m really interested in whether anyone else in this community feels like this? I had a very bad experience with a gay male friend at uni who was very camp and went around groping women’s boobs and butts and used being gay as an excuse to be obnoxious which might be where my discomfort of these situations comes from. I know that this was just a bad experience and that not all folk who are ‘loud and proud’ or camp are like this but I just don’t really enjoy being in those types of situations and pride events I’ve been to in the past feel like this. Has anyone else had similar experiences/doesn’t feel like the pride community represents them?

Hope this is okay to post here. I'm in my mid 40s and in the last few years have begun to identify as non binary, specifically demigirl. I was assigned female at birth and have been in a relationship with a cisgender male for around 25 years. I've never really thought much about my sexuality, I have only ever been with cis men. But since being enby, first of all it feels weird to say I am straight considering that there's no opposite gender to enby. I also have always been open to finding anyone attractive across the gender spectrum, and also really find non binary people attractive. I have also said on many occasions to my male partner than if I had met him and he had been female, I would still want to be with him because it is personality which is more important to me. He doesn't believe me, but that's a story for another day. I have no intention of leaving my partner so it's likely I will only ever be in a "straight" relationship but I would love to feel like I could find an identity that suits me. I don't feel like straight does. Thanks.

I find definitions so complicated these days that I am unsure of my label. And I like labels for myself. I feel like it helps me understand myself better.

I knew from a young age I had an attraction to women. I always thought I was bi or at least a little bit bi. Having never had the opportunity to explore that in full sexually, for the longest time I considered myself 75% straight, 25% gay. I always questioned whether I would enjoy certain things with a female. Coming to realize as an adult, I don’t enjoy certain things with males. 😆

Finding someone attractive such as Tim Curry (Dr Franknfurter) in the Rocky Horror Picture Show confused me greatly. Until I became aware of the pansexual community. Which made me have a light bulb moment. 💡

Am I correct in saying pansexual is being attracted or interested in someone, despite what they identify as? But I am not attracted to everyone. I still have physical preferences. Do you think I fall into the pan category?

I love the David Rose comment from Schitts creek… “I like the wine, not the label.”

💕💕

I was expecting something a little more life changing or empowering. It was more like a poof of dust. Like a fart in the wind. Nothing. I felt literally nothing. They didn't really care. Then I realized that I didn't care and never did. This is all so dumb. Just live your life folks and find people who don't give a shit what you are. Apparently I had it and didn't know it. I'm counting my blessings. Sending much love to everyone. 💙

Kinda suprised I wasnt in here before lol. Been out as pan for years now.

But hello people! Glad to be in here to see what my fellows are up to.

May we all stand together in dealing with the one joke we hear every single time.