r/lgbt

Who was the first person you told?

I was a lesbian for a long while before I truly got to know myself. I still only love woman but I recently started going by they/them. Since then a friend of mine constantly makes comments that I am no longer lesbian or queer. At first it felt like just the teasing we regularly do with each other but now I just feel like they mean it seriously. I am still struggling with that image of myself but this just made it feel 10x worse. I just feel lost about what I am. Are they right? Am I technically no longer queer since I go by they/them. Am I something else. I just don’t know anymore.

Hi everyone. I'm new here and going through a phase of questioning my gender identity. I decided to write this post to organize my thoughts and see if anyone else relates to what I’m feeling.

I was assigned male at birth, but my whole life I’ve felt very distant from the world of men. I hate being grouped together with boys, the vast majority of my friends are girls, and I’m a much more emotional person than society expects a boy to be. Physically, I’m short for my age and skinny—honestly, those are the only characteristics I like about my body because I associate them with something more feminine. Other than that, I deeply hate having body hair, a beard, and a mustache, and having to shave systematically leaves me exhausted.

Recently, things started to change. I have a fantastic girlfriend (she is bisexual and I identify as pansexual) and I feel incredibly good when she uses feminine pronouns for me. She also lent me some of her pajama shorts and I love wearing them around the house. However, I feel like this is still a very close secret between us. If someone else on the street addressed me with feminine pronouns right now, I would take it as an attack. I don’t have the courage to go out in public wearing feminine clothes. Also, even though I love how comfortable her clothes are, when I look in the mirror I feel like they don't fit me well because my body is still male, which leaves me a bit frustrated.

The thing that confuses me the most is that I don’t feel a constant "hatred" or violent distress toward my biological body. It’s more of a "meh" feeling... complete apathy. The only time I felt really good in male clothes was during a piano audition (I play piano) where I wore all-black formal clothing, but I think it was more about being elegant than being "manly." Other than that, in daily life, it’s just indifference. But when my girlfriend treats me as a female, I feel real joy and comfort (I think it's called gender euphoria).

I’ve been researching the MTF journey and Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). The idea of having softer skin and more feminine features appeals to me immensely. I don't know if I want to have genital surgeries, and the fact that my girlfriend is bi and I am pan makes me feel very comfortable about our future. I was also relieved to learn that HRT doesn’t cause a biological menstrual period, even though it requires medical care for life.

I would really like to know: Did anyone here start their transition coming from this "meh" and apathetic feeling, instead of a deep hatred for their body?

P.S. Sorry if my English isn't perfect, Im Portuguese

Last Sunday the brasilian general elections came to an end, as the presidential chair was left in a tie our parliament was taken over by far-right politicians, mostly openly queer phobic, with the most loudly biggotes candidate elected as the most voted deputy.

Our last hope is the election runoff, that will not only decide our president but also who will indicate 4 of 11 chairs in our Supreme Court.

If Flavio Bolsonaro win our nation will regress decades, queer people will lose all our rights, and if once again they attempt a coup our very lives will be in danger as our country won't be able to resist, we wil become a dictatorship under a leader that promised the death of all queer people from day one.

Please, if you're reading this assist as you can, even if you can only talk and show disapproval to Flavio I know this will help change the route of our elections and avoid a new dark chapter in Brazil's history.

Please be as loud as you can, our people need as many voices as possible to make the right choice.

24, transfem. Started testing the waters on Friday night. Each night, I take 1mg finasteride and 2mg estradiol. One thing I’ve heard about other people testing the waters is that they knew this was right for them after they felt a boost in mood.

If I feel no change within the first few months, would that mean that it’s not for me, or would it mean that my dosage just has no effect? Would the next step be to stop, or just ask the doctor about trying a higher dose?

Also, one person said that a low dose can cause negative feelings not because of HRT not being for me, but because of hormone deficiency from a low dose. If HRT makes me feel worse, how would I know whether my mind is rejecting the HRT or demanding a higher dose?